My Friends, I need your opinions! SERIOUS incident

[AbsolutelyROLEX!]

Hi Fellow Rolex friends, I need your opinion on an incident of which I definitely think it was handled wrongly by the other party (or myself?)

I will politely not mention any names or references to the site to maintain respect and dignity, since this is not intended to bash anyone.

On another forum, I made a deal with a seller on the site to buy a Rolex from that person.

We agreed on a price, and I said I would transfer the money next day.

The next day, I received unexpected news of a close family friend that had passed away, and funeral was that night.

So I went to the funeral, did not come home until late that night, and the person emailed me upset the next day that I had not transferred the money yet nor contacted him/her.
I emailed back explaining what happened, and told the person I would do it at lunchtime.

Lunchtime came, and since I run a 3 bay auto repair shop by myself, things got crazy and I did not get to the bank.

That night after work I checked my email, the person emailed back saying I was Pissing on him/her now and I was banned from the forum, despite me having impeccable feedback and reputation.

At first I could not believe it, was very mad and emailed him/her back threatening possibly even taking legal action, which in hindsight probably was not the right thing to do, I realize that.

I tried to explain myself and make things right, even asking for one more chance to transfer the money in the morning, but to no avail.

I rely on my great business practices and reputation on that forum for future business, and now when others go to check, will see that I was banned and tarnishing my credibility, I think very much not justified.

So I just want to explain myself, and use this thread as an explanation of what happened in case someone has any doubts as to my honesty, and to get your opinions on this.

Thank you all in advance!

***** ADDED ******

I forgot to add in my thread that I had already bought 3 other watches in the past year from this person totaling 17K. We have (I thought) a relationship.

[MonBK]

Pissing on a moderator is never a good idea.

[bayerische]

Originally Posted by MonBK

Pissing on a moderator is never a good idea.

Forum owner even less so.

[Casey VP-26]

Sounds to me like you left this person hanging twice. I would be upset also. I would not go ahead with the deal with you. I don't know about banning you from the forum.

Good Luck.

[jjnd08]

Originally Posted by Casey VP-26

Sounds to me like you left this person hanging twice. I would be upset also. I would not go ahead with the deal with you. I don't know about banning you from the forum.

Good Luck.

Gotta agree here. I would have tried to take 30 seconds to email the person during the day saying won't happen today. He would have still been pissed, but better to warn first here than ask forgiveness.

[tfly212]

Originally Posted by jjnd08

Gotta agree here. I would have tried to take 30 seconds to email the person during the day saying won't happen today. He would have still been pissed, but better to warn first here than ask forgiveness.

Exactly. two quick notes of explanation probably avoids this whole issue.

What, we got here...is a failure...to communicate.

[GermanyMatt]

Banning you was unnecessary IMO, but yeah you probably should have tried harder to get to the bank and complete your part of the deal. That said, it's just a watch and people need to be more understanding and realize that people have lives and things do happen.

[locutus49]

Honestly, you want an opinion: I have been on the other side of such a situation. Once, I would tolerate (and did), twice, it sounds like you are making excuses.

I am not belittling your situation, but "death in the family" was used on me several times when buying/selling high end knifes, and I was so stressed that my wife intervened and told me no more trading/selling.

So just know that even though your situation was genuine, it is a very common excuse for scammers and so forth.

I would send him a gift with a hand-written apology and - this is important - ask for nothing. Just apologize and wish him well.

Just my opinion.

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by locutus49

Honestly, you want an opinion: I have been on the other side of such a situation. Once, I would tolerate (and did), twice, it sounds like you are making excuses.

I am not belittling your situation, but "death in the family" was used on me several times when buying/selling high end knifes, and I was so stressed that my wife intervened and told me no more trading/selling.

So just know that even though your situation was genuine, it is a very common excuse for scammers and so forth.

I would send him a gift with a hand-written apology and - this is important - ask for nothing. Just apologize and wish him well.

Just my opinion.

Did you really use close family friend died today and funeral is tonight?

[locutus49]

??? I did not use it, it was used on me. Really.

Originally Posted by MonBK

Did you really use close friend died today and funeral is tonight?

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by locutus49

??? I did not use it, it was used on me. Really.

Ooops sorry, misread it in haste.

[Runnin' Rebel]

I would send him a gift with a hand-written apology and - this is important - ask for nothing. Just apologize and wish him well.

Just my opinion.[/QUOTE]

Great advice, if he has a heart he should except this and maybe it would smooth things out. I would send a card.

[Thunderball57]

Originally Posted by Runnin' Rebel

I would send him a gift with a hand-written apology and - this is important - ask for nothing. Just apologize and wish him well.

Just my opinion.

Great advice, if he has a heart he should except this and maybe it would smooth things out. I would send a card.[/QUOTE]


After being an established customer with 17K in business within a year to show? I don't know...

[Welshwatchman]

Just an unfortunate mix of circumstances and personalities.

You obviously see the benefit now of a message to the seller (forum boss) to explain the situation.

If he had been a nasty chap after this he'd simply be outing himself as someone not worthy of respect.

This didn't happen alas.

At least you are of good standing here.

Please don't piss Stevo off though.


... also threatening legal action is NOT the way to win your membership back.

[vitalsignsrn]

Unfortunately we all get hot under the collar & emotions overtake rational actions.
It's not only important to apologize for business/reputation reasons, but also because you're an adult & although ligit things happen, still could have been circumvented with a quick email during the day so that person wasn't hanging.

[NKflyer]

I agree that the seller had the right to be pissed. Even though it may have been true in your case, you had to realize that the old "family emergency" excuse was going to come off sounding lame. And then you left him hanging a second time. I would just write it off to experience and try to be more professional/punctual going forward in spite of the extenuating circumstances that life sometimes throws at us.

[RollieVerde]

It's just a watch transaction. Just deal with it. There's nothing serious here in the least, other than a misunderstanding that grew into something a bit uglier. But know this coming from an impartial observer: there's nothing that irritates me more that when somebody, be it in business or life in general, says they will do something and then not do it. If you have a valid reason, fine. Dealing with that is between the two parties. But you owe it to the other party when you say you'll do something to get it done. I deal with this kind of crap daily, and the sad fact is people are constantly forgetting to do things they say they'll do, and it's inconsiderate and unprofessional and should be avoided at all costs. Sorry about the death of your friend, BTW. That's some serious stuff.

[AbsolutelyROLEX!]

Just to further establish my credibility, the name of the friend was Eva Neugebauer, if you check online in Milton Ontario Obituaries you will see hers, and the time and date of the funeral which was in Hamilton, on tuesday night 7pm about 1 hour drive from myself one way.
I didnt find out until the day of.

[NKflyer]

Originally Posted by anderl712000

Just to further establish my credibility, the name of the friend was Eva Neugebauer, if you check online in Milton Ontario Obituaries you will see hers, and the time and date of the funeral which was in Hamilton, on tuesday night 7pm about 1 hour drive from myself one way.
I didnt find out until the day of.

Nobody is questioning that there truly was a death but you should have made more of an effort to pay in spite of the funeral and your busy work schedule the following day. Or at the very least, communicated better with the seller.

[77T]

Originally Posted by anderl712000

Just to further establish my credibility, the name of the friend was Eva Neugebauer, if you check online in Milton Ontario Obituaries you will see hers, and the time and date of the funeral which was in Hamilton, on tuesday night 7pm about 1 hour drive from myself one way.

I didnt find out until the day of.

I only weigh-in since you asked us.

The other guy had a short temper methinks.

But a 7pm funeral would not stop me from fulfilling a commitment sometime during banking hours. Especially one upon which my reputation may hang.

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by anderl712000

Just to further establish my credibility, the name of the friend was Eva Neugebauer, if you check online in Milton Ontario Obituaries you will see hers, and the time and date of the funeral which was in Hamilton, on tuesday night 7pm about 1 hour drive from myself one way.
I didnt find out until the day of.

Andy, truly sorry for your loss ... It's a small world indeed as I have business dealings with Denise N and I believe this may be a relation.

[azguy]

I've bought and sold several watches in the last 2 years and we always exchange phone #'s so we can text, e-mail is so 10 years ago......and IMHO, you did leave the guy hanging for 2 straight days... you treated the transaction as a low priority...

[Frosty]

Originally Posted by azguy

I've bought and sold several watches in the last 2 years and we always exchange phone #'s so we can text, e-mail is so 10 years ago......and IMHO, you did leave the guy hanging for 2 straight days... you treated the transaction as a low priority...

Or a text.

[Keith1]

You probably should of either sent an email, or better yet called during the day both times and explained your situations. This is what I would of done.

Sorry about your friend.

[salem65]

You were in the wrong and now you have consequences.

[locutus49]

In my experience, people just have brains wired differently, and are predisposed to behavior.

Some, when confronted with a crisis, view it as either/or, they deal with the crisis and blank out all other responsibilities. Their minds laser focus on one task to the omission of all others.

Other people are predisposed to, when crisis occurs, prioritize their responsibilities and methodically deal with them as time permits. They view the tragedy as only one of many things to cope with, even if it is serious.

My wife is Type 1 and I'm type 2. So in conducting business, you have to understand your own personality and make commitments accordingly. In your case, you could say that if an emergency pops up, you may be delayed, and you will understand that from the other person as well. It will immunize you from the issue and at the same time force you to think about this kind of thing from the other perspective.

I give you much credit for soliciting opinions; such self-awareness is rare in the first personality type (type one) I described above. Assuming I'm correct, which I may not be. Just my experience.

[Headshrinker]

Originally Posted by locutus49

In my experience, people just have brains wired differently, and are predisposed to behavior.

Some, when confronted with a crisis, view it as either/or, they deal with the crisis and blank out all other responsibilities. Their minds laser focus on one task to the omission of all others.

Other people are predisposed to, when crisis occurs, prioritize their responsibilities and methodically deal with them as time permits. They view the tragedy as only one of many things to cope with, even if it is serious.

My wife is Type 1 and I'm type 2. So in conducting business, you have to understand your own personality and make commitments accordingly. In your case, you could say that if an emergency pops up, you may be delayed, and you will understand that from the other person as well. It will immunize you from the issue and at the same time force you to think about this kind of thing from the other perspective.

I give you much credit for soliciting opinions; such self-awareness is rare in the first personality type (type one) I described above. Assuming I'm correct, which I may not be. Just my experience.

I could not agree more! Communication is always paramount in negotiations, but as you said people respond differently to stress. Locusts, you are a very well-rounded thinker; thought provoking and insightful.

[CDNWatchNut]

I think there's a bit of "blame" to share by both parties in the situation described. As it sounds like other party is a Forum Moderator or owner, your best option (if you want to get back on track with the forum) would be to try a sincere apology, and ask to be re-instated. That's about all you can do, hopefully the other person is open to that and willing to accept an apology. Good luck, and hope it works out OK.

[andromeda160]

If it's a forum, it's not like he had to re-list it. Personally, on high ticket sales like a watch I would think giving the consumer up to 72 hours to send payment was reasonable. Thats how it's always been on ebay for me and I think its a bit silly of the seller to view a high end consumer as disposable. Sure he might be able to sell the watch to someone else fairly easily, but he's lost a customer that could've referred more customers to him as well as make future watch purchases. Sure you could've popped him an email at lunch saying payment would be delayed sorry for the inconvenience, but I wouldn't be worried too much. The way I see it is you didn't lose anything and he lost a customer, so you're better off than him at this point.

And another thing, this isn't a serious incident at all. If getting banned from a watch forum for not paying quick enough is a "serious incident" in your life, consider yourself blessed.

[Manofsteelpt]

I see both sides of this as being right and wrong... Could he have been a little more understanding? Sure...

I would've offered a Paypal deposit to secure the watch and just deducted it from the wire.

Should you be banned? Heck no.