Cordon Bleu pets.

[padi56]

Just pop in to your local supermarket for proof of how pet owners are making a rod for their own backs as far as Pet feeding habits are concerned.

You will notice a complete aisle, dedicated to all sorts of flavours. From Beef and Heart, to Tuna salad, including Tinned, Packeted and bagged varieties and textures ranging from Soft,lost my teeth, through to Granite.

My recollection of pets and eating habits started,when just a boy with our family Alsatian, which would eat anything within striking distance, and at a speed which would embarrass a feking Shark!
Favourite foods included Meat, Veg,cats,Postmen, Shoe leather, Soft furnishings, Car tyres and wooden blocks.Plus anything it could get into his mouth would do on a bad day though...

Generations of sad old ladies with pet Dogs resembling large hair brushes led to the arrival of 'Mr Dog'. Which was a specialist dog food, in dinky little easy open tins, containing allegedly large amounts of addictive chemical drugs to which the hairbrush doggies would become addicted, resulting in a creature which would sooner die than eat anything else.

Not happy with this, the Cat food departments of the same companies, started advertising scenes of a sexy twenty-something girlie's reclining on a leather chaise longue. While Tibbles daintily nibbled upon the latest designer Cat-food which at least 8 out of 10 cats preferred ('Preferred my ars# preferred to being kicked around the living room' was the omitted sentence naturally)

We now have ageist pet-food too! Kitten food, Cat-food and Old feked up Cat food to add to the menu. What next? Mid-life-crisis Dog-food?

Lets look at the natural life of these animals before domestic bliss set in.

Dogs eat cats without being asked. Cats rummage around bins ripping open black sacks and devouring three day old Chicken scraps like the b@st@rds they really are plus the odd bird or rodent.
Cats and Dogs aside, look at pet birds. They eat WORMS and Cockroaches...seeds etc
.
I have not seen Cockroach flavoured birdseed for sale, even in ASDA for feks sake. Why not? This begs the question, why, when Farmers keep Alsatians to fend off the poachers, do Council house dwellers not keep uncaged birds to eat the infestations of household insects such as Lice, ants,Roaches and Weevils.
A hungry Parakeet would be bloody magic for this purpose. Imagine sitting in watching Eastenders when the parakeet swoops down and picks up it's fourth Roach of the evening, satisfying not only the birds but the local Health requirements too.Maybe every tenant should be issued with one.


What does the future hold for us then?

Jamie Oliver is prime candidate for a new celebrity range for sure. The Mockney plebe has enough spare tongue, to make a few truckloads of Haute cuisine cat-food already, and the hairbrush owners all love the tw@t to bits so it's sure to be a hit.

How about a new dog-food for Rottweillers by Gordon Ramsay? called
'It's fu#ki#g Dogfood' it would be scooped into the trolleys by the public Neanderthals faster than the Rotty will be able to eat it, tin and all....*

I always wondered what Vegans fed their Cats.. Lentil flavoured Whiskers would be the obvious choice, while Tesco could proudly proclaim 'This is not ordinary Pal, this is Free range woodland bred Pal marinaded in oak smoked pork' or whatever.

Seeing as the pets are not allowed to roam the aisles,of supermarkets choosing which delicacy to feast on. And besides they can't bloody read anyway, I blame the foolish idealistic pet owners for this ridiculous Cordon Bleu pet food farce.

[Gedanken]

Nuts, Peter - when you titled it "Cordon Bleu pets", I thought you were talking about Thai cuisine!

Anyway, my Ed gets kitty crunchies and that's it. Sash did try some of that fancy crap with him, and he just took a sniff and gave us a "so what's this shite" look.

[padi56]

Was going to put on the end of my post the Malaysians and Thai's have
the right idea,but thought that might upset some.Yes agree some pets
now have better food now,that many humans.

[Gedanken]

Aw hell, Peter, if cows can be massaged and fed the finest stuff to make prime beef, it makes sense to do the same thing with dogs that are already being treated that way.

[padi56]

Originally Posted by Gedanken

Aw hell, Peter, if cows can be massaged and fed the finest stuff to make prime beef, it makes sense to do the same thing with dogs that are already being treated that way.

A very good point James,and in my travels have eaten some very strange
food. But don't think I have eaten any dog,well not intentionally anyway.

[Gedanken]

Yeah, missed my chance to eat fried locusts in Bangkok on my second evening there, and the next night the guy selling it had disappeared. Had rat, rabbit, snake and a couple of other things during jungle survival courses - lesson learned: NEVER boil snake!

HIJACK!

[Earl]

LoL

[padi56]

Tried locusts and snake,one of the strangest was Baalut while in the
Philippines. Must admit could not finish it, when a saw those little legs
and beak,that was it.Barfed the rest all over the floor much to the
amusement to the on looking locals.And something in Thailand think
they called them rice bugs,well they looked like giant white cockroaches
But again failed quite miserably,to eat its just the thought of eating a
huge bug.And a huge fruit the size of a football,cannot remember what it was called but it bloody stunk like rotting socks,or a very bad toilet smell,
but was bloody delicious to taste.

[Charlie]

Originally Posted by padi56

Tried locusts and snake,one of the strangest was Baalut while in the
Philippines. Must admit could not finish it, when a saw those little legs
and beak,that was it.Barfed the rest all over the floor much to the
amusement to the on looking locals.And something in Thailand think
they called them rice bugs,well they looked like giant white cockroaches
But again failed quite miserably,to eat its just the thought of eating a
huge bug.And a huge fruit the size of a football,cannot remember what it was called but it bloody stunk like rotting socks,or a very bad toilet smell,
but was bloody delicious to taste.

You should try some dried Mopani worms delicious

[Gedanken]

Not durians, surely? One of these days I have to try getting past the smell of Taiwanese Stinky Tofu - plenty of people have sworn to me that the taste is worth it.

The trick to Baluut is to close your eyes, take a deep breath and swallow it before you can think about what you're actually doing.

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Gedanken

Not durians, surely? One of these days I have to try getting past the smell of Taiwanese Stinky Tofu - plenty of people have sworn to me that the taste is worth it.

The trick to Baluut is to close your eyes, take a deep breath and swallow it before you can think about what you're actually doing.

What are baalut and durians

[Gedanken]

Originally Posted by mailman

What are baalut and durians

Paul, I'd tell you, but why ruin the beginnings of a beautiful friendship?

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Gedanken

Paul, I'd tell you, but why ruin the beginnings of a beautiful friendship?

From Padi's description they don't sound too bad. Except for the smell part. So baalut is dasically a headles chicken or duck in an egg?

[padi56]

Originally Posted by mailman

From Padi's description they don't sound too bad. Except for the smell part. So baalut is basically a headles chicken or duck in an egg?

Not quite Paul, Baalut has almost a fully formed dead chick inside the egg, thus the eggs with legs,or the treat with feet
To enjoy fully you must be totally pissed,or out of your mind.

[padi56]

Originally Posted by mailman

What are baalut and durians

Well Paul they say its a delicacy,but it was not for me
Baalut You take a fertilised duck or chicken egg, bury it in the ground for a few weeks,let it mature till half formed chicken or duck.Then cut of the top and then enjoy,sometimes called the eggs with legs.
What I can remember of Durian it was large thing, they called a fruit
about the size of a football with a spiky skin.When the skin was broken
into the smell of the flesh inside was just like stinking socks,or rotten
meat really bad,but it tasted good well to me it did.

[BruceS]

LMAO Padi! Another masterpiece from the master coumnist

[padi56]

The trick to Baluut is to close your eyes, take a deep breath and swallow it before you can think about what you're actually doing.

Yes agree but when I saw the beak and eyes that was it good by Vienna.And a good few beers what a waste,still the
locals were p!ssing themselves And think you are right James,durians almost certain thats what they called it,can smell it now what a stink,but the taste was wonderful.

[Gedanken]

Oh, no no no - didn't they warn you not to look before eating it?

As for durians, it's an acquired taste/smell - the first time I ate them in front of Sash, she nearly left me.

Peter that's a great post!

I used to live in the Beach in Toronto (it's a neighborhood known for being quite trendy) and everyone has a dog there (except me, btw). Anyways, a new shop opened up specializing in gourmet dog food. Seriously. They had doggie treats prepared to look like pastries and displayed in a refrigerated display stand, like the ones you see in your local bakery.

The crazy thing is... the business is flourishing. It just goes to show that many people treat their pets better than they treat their fellow human. So next time anyone gives you a hard time about dropping $5000 on a watch, ask them how much they spend this past month on their dog.

'Nuff said.

[padi56]

Originally Posted by Gedanken

Oh, no no no - didn't they warn you not to look before eating it?

As for durians, it's an acquired taste/smell - the first time I ate them in front of Sash, she nearly left me.

Warn me,well local Filipino,thinking we have silly white man here.Lets have a bit of fun,give him Baalut to try.But got my
own back,because the one that gave it to me,had most of the contents of a good old night on the town all over him baalut as well.

[JJ Irani]

When I first came to NZ almost 10 years ago, I was pretty shocked (and impressed) at the large array and variety of pet foods that are available in the supermarkets here. The first think I remarked to Zemina was...most of the poor people back home in India would be lucky to be pampered thus.

[padi56]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

When I first came to NZ almost 10 years ago, I was pretty shocked (and impressed) at the large array and variety of pet foods that are available in the supermarkets here. The first think I remarked to Zemina was...most of the poor people back home in India would be lucky to be pampered thus.

Well JJ got to agree with you, the annual market for petfood in the UK is
now very close to 6 billion pounds. The USA almost 14 billion,that a
lot of petfood, a lot more than some countries spend on human food.

[padi56]

Boy they look tasty Charlie,looks a bit like well aged dried dog sh1t
Must be a lot of the little buggers around,do you cook them.Or just
eat them as they come,but looking at them if I eat those.Think it
would not take them long, to find there way back on the floor.

[JJ Irani]

One thing's for sure, Padi.....if I ever come to visit, I shall choose the place where we go to eat!!!

[Charlie]

Originally Posted by padi56

Boy they look tasty Charlie,looks a bit like well aged dried dog sh1t
Must be a lot of the little buggers around,do you cook them.Or just
eat them as they come,but looking at them if I eat those.Think it
would not take them long, to find there way back on the floor.

Padi, You can eat them straight of the tree , dried or in stews e.c.t
Actually they don't taste to bad ,but you must see them when fresh ,bright yellow and black stripes and all hairy , what can I say it's Africa and protein is protein

Well, I just fed my dog and gave him basically what we ate (and some other stuff). Swiss Chalet chicken, some stuffing (it's from the Festive Special meals that come out this time of year), plus some Chalet sauce. If you have never had Swiss Chalet, you are probably scratching your head.......it's a really good chicken place up here in the wilds of Canada.....and don't worry John, I know dogs can't have chocolate (did you also know they should not eat onions?), so he won't be getting any of the Lindor's that came with the meal......

Add to the above some cooked veggies, and some canned dog food, and he was quite happy (even though he's still nuts ).

I think many people see the dog as part of the family, so treat is as such. I see no harm in that, as long as you keep things in perspective.

[padi56]

Quite right Al my vet once told me that chocolate is harmful to dogs.And yes animals become part of the family,thats very true.

[padi56]

As it comes when they dig them up,then they very lightly boil them. And when you open an egg you are supposed to stuff the 2 week old incomplete chicken foetus into your mouth. Complete with partially formed feathers, feet,and eyes,all showing through a thin skin on the chick,its not a pretty sight
.

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by padi56

As it comes when they dig them up,then they very lightly boil them. And when you open an egg you are supposed to stuff the 2 week old incomplete chicken foetus into your mouth. Complete with partially formed feathers, feet,and eyes,all showing through a thin skin on the chick,its not a pretty sight
.

Hey, I'm having my breakfast, you tosser!!!

[padi56]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

Hey, I'm having my breakfast, you tosser!!!

Are you having soldiers with your boiled eggs JJ