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padi56 · 21 November 2005, 06:34 PM

Two builders (Dave and JJ.) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...

Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.
JJ.: - No way - he's a geologist.
Dave: - He ain't no geologist ! A geologist wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...

Dave: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken ! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!

Dave: - Oh ! What's that then ?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home?
Dave: - Er, mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Dave: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Dave: - Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Dave: - Me? Never
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Dave: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.
JJ.: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Stuart: - What's that then?
Dave:- I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
JJ.: - Nope
Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker.

AJC · 21 November 2005, 09:42 PM

Does that mean JJ doesn't have gold fish.

padi56 · 21 November 2005, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Does that mean JJ doesn't have gold fish.

100% Correct

JJ Irani · 22 November 2005, 03:36 AM

Good one, tossers!!

21 November 2005, 06:34 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,062	Logical Scientist. Two builders (Dave and JJ.) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit... Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant. JJ.: - No way - he's a geologist. Dave: - He ain't no geologist ! A geologist wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder... Dave: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living? Suit: - No offence taken ! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession! Dave: - Oh ! What's that then ? Suit: - I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home? Dave: - Er, mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens! Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it? Dave: - It's in a pond! Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then? Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden! Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house? Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself! Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children. Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis? Dave: - Yep! Four nights a week! Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often? Dave: - Me? Never Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work! Dave: - How's that then? Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life! Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate! Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate. JJ.: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does? Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist! Stuart: - What's that then? Dave:- I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish? JJ.: - Nope Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

22 November 2005, 03:36 AM	#4
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	Good one, tossers!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

21 November 2005, 09:42 PM	#2
AJC Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 1,878	Does that mean JJ doesn't have gold fish.

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