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Old 27 September 2013, 07:26 PM   #1
Too Old
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Jesus is watching

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
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Old 27 September 2013, 07:53 PM   #2
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Love it
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There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.

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Old 27 September 2013, 08:24 PM   #3
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Good one.
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Old 28 September 2013, 11:57 AM   #4
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Old 28 September 2013, 04:16 PM   #5
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Old 29 September 2013, 10:42 PM   #6
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Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir,
Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire,
J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout,
On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout.


- André Fortin
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Old 29 September 2013, 10:46 PM   #7
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Old 4 October 2013, 06:18 AM   #8
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Does anyone really know what time it is?
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Old 4 October 2013, 12:19 PM   #9
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Old 11 October 2013, 05:19 PM   #10
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Old 15 October 2013, 05:21 AM   #11
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Old 4 November 2013, 01:47 AM   #12
polarinda
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Lmao
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Old 6 November 2013, 11:13 PM   #13
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