Friend?

[redshirt1957]

What is the definition? No, dummies, not what Webster's says. What do you say. Famiy? Co-workers? Other TRF's? Strippers? Neighbours? For me I do not have a lot of friends outside of family and for some strange reason; you guys. Now, since I have never met you bunch of mongrels how can I say you guys are friends. Most people around the wife and me depend on us for income so it is really hard to be friends with our employees. While I love my childern, I am their parent first and when they get older; hopefully a friend. So back to the orginally question; who are your friends. As I have gotten older the circle of friends has gotten smaller, but tighter. Now, don't fret for me as I still have a stripper pole in the basement....just in case.

[Launch Mini]

If you have the stipper pole in your basement, I will be your friend & even bring the beer.
You just supply the dancer

[Jedi]

I can sum up the number of friends I have using all my fingers, with some change. This is due to a certain tick of mine which makes it difficult for me to count people in. Definitions of such intangible concepts such as friendship are always difficult to attempt, but I'll set down some criteria:

- unconditional reliability
- good faith
- trustworthiness
- discretion
- confidentiality
- kindness

I'd rather have a friend that told me exactly what they thought without judgement than an ass-kisser.

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Launch Mini

If you have the stipper pole in your basement, I will be your friend & even bring the beer.
You just supply the dancer

Originally Posted by Jedi

I can sum up the number of friends I have using all my fingers, with some change. This is due to a certain tick of mine which makes it difficult for me to count people in. Definitions of such intangible concepts such as friendship are always difficult to attempt, but I'll set down some criteria:

- unconditional reliability
- good faith
- trustworthiness
- discretion
- confidentiality
- kindness

I'd rather have a friend that told me exactly what they thought without judgement than an ass-kisser.

Both answers in their own way are profound.

[JimSnyder]

Thats hard to define. But when you have a true friend you just know it. Someone you just feel comfortable around

[Widows Son]

My Lodge Brothers.

[Launch Mini]

Seriously, only have a few "friends", plenty of acquintances, few real friends.
They don't "expect things", honest, there when you need them, would give you the shirt of their back & visa versa....
I had one fellow, was in the "freind" category till he pulled a stupid stunt.
I had season tix to the local hockey & Basketball teams. Deal was, I paid for the tickets my guest buys dinner & a beer at the game. Well, right after I bought my first BMW, I pick him up, he gets in the car and says, dead serious "Nice Car, I guess you're buying dinner tonight"
I damn near threw him out of the car. Was the last game the got.
BTW, when it time to pay for the hotdogs & beer, he DID NOT REACH for his wallet.

[East Bay Rider]

Acquaintances come and go. I have a few real friends but mostly just folks I know well. I have co-workers, neighbors, fellow coaches, fellow volunteers, parents of kids I coach and my son's friends parents but I'm not really close with most of them. There are a few families we spend time with that I consider true friends and I'm friendly with some of my co-workers but I wonder if we would lose touch if I moved away. To me true friends are surrogate family. Much as you keep in contact with sisters and brothers no-matter where you live, true friends are like that. There are a few but not many.
I have witnessed my wife losing people whom she thought were her friends on two occasions. She was heartbroken both times and is now guarded. I hold both of those women in contempt and will never forgive them.
I've had friends in the past that I still think about and wonder about but they are long gone and I'm the sensitive/sentimental type so I tend to think that way by nature.


Things I've learned:
Friends take time.
Friends don't keep track.
Friends hang out with nothing to do.
Friends lend a hand without being asked.
Friends talk about / participate in the small daily stuff.
Friends are genuinely happy for your small wins.

[Jimbits76]

What is a friend? My friends have the unique feature of being invisible. I can't see them butu I hear them all the time. They tell me to burn things!

What is family? A pain in the ass but then again, you never know when you might need a kidney!

J

[jdc]

Quite a deep question Bubba.

To me a friend is someone you can rely on, who you can contact and pick up where you left off. Does not matter if that was a week or 5 years ago. I have a few friends like that.

I have work colleagues that I am friendly with but prefer to keep work/social separate as far as possible as it can get complicated especially if you are the boss. I hate talking about work as well!

Socially I have a wide set of mates from all different backgrounds. This suits me as I can pick and choose what activities I want to do.

My best friend is my wife, we do most things together and nearly all of my friends are my wife's and vice versa. My wife is the only person I feel I can trust and rely on as a true friend.

We try and keep in contact with as many people as possible even if we only see some people once or twice a year. Everyone I know makes an effort by organising a party, dinner or more usually a piss up in a pub!

Family to me are probably the most important and reliable friends you can have, although the effort that takes at times makes me wonder

[JimSnyder]

Originally Posted by jdc

Quite a deep question Bubba.

To me a friend is someone you can rely on, who you can contact and pick up where you left off. Does not matter if that was a week or 5 years ago. I have a few friends like that.

I have work colleagues that I am friendly with but prefer to keep work/social separate as far as possible as it can get complicated especially if you are the boss. I hate talking about work as well!

Socially I have a wide set of mates from all different backgrounds. This suits me as I can pick and choose what activities I want to do.

My best friend is my wife, we do most things together and nearly all of my friends are my wife's and vice versa. My wife is the only person I feel I can trust and rely on as a true friend.

We try and keep in contact with as many people as possible even if we only see some people once or twice a year. Everyone I know makes an effort by organising a party, dinner or more usually a piss up in a pub!

Family to me are probably the most important and reliable friends you can have, although the effort that takes at times makes me wonder

"To me a friend is someone you can rely on, who you can contact and pick up where you left off. Does not matter if that was a week or 5 years ago. I have a few friends like that" . So true Martin

[Oscar]

Joe,

Forgive me for asking this, but were you sober or pi$$sed when you posted this?????????

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Oscar

Joe,

Forgive me for asking this, but were you sober or pi$$sed when you posted this?????????

Lets see? My post was at 10:50 pm and I went to bed at 11:30 pm. Must have been at least 80% pi$$ed at the time.

[Jimbits76]

I found out this weekend that a former colleague died in May this year. I considered him a friend yet since his leaving our firm I had hardly contacted him.

He was in his mid sixties when he retired and although we only spent around three years together we had what I would consider a great bond despite the huge age difference.

I respected and apprecited his opinions, attitude, ethics and talents as a great artist (watercolour and sketch).

I remember the summer of 2005, the pair of us sat sweating in our office listening intently to the Test Match Special etc and the Ashes coverage. I remember the jubilation, the desperation to get to work the next day and discuss or celebrate our boy's accomplishments.

I remember the pair of us laughing like drains at reruns of 'Round The Horne' or 'Sorry I haven't haven't a clue' as our secretary sat bewildered or just giggling at our boyish enthusiasm for radio comedy.

He taught me about hot club jazz, the likes of Django and Stephane, he told me about the Andrews Sisters, Louis Prima, Harry Belafonte. His greta love other than art was fishing. He took me fishing once and I annoyed him dreadfully but like a patient father and his enthusiastic seven year old boy, he treated my constant waffling, the knots in the fishing line, my girly screams at having to unhook a fish and even my dropping of the bait box into the lake with a quiet dignity.

We laughed at the same things, talked about the same issues and admired the same people. We also argued about wines, holidays, music and film. Our wives, colleagues and friends compared us to the muppet characters Statler and Waldorf, crotchety old men complaing about everything! My wife claire even bought us plush versions which sat on our desks. When he retired, Statler and Waldorf retired with him.

I saw him a few times after his retirement but once Claire was pregnant our contact drifted. Once William was born, I made the same excuses about time and the lack of it and therefore I could/would not make the effort to see my friend and somewhat mentor.

I miss him now. I regret not taking the time out of my ridiculously free schedule to take a bottle of whiskey and a Bill Bailey dvd round to him and laugh the night away.

He's gone and my heart feels hollow, not only due to the loss but also the fact that I found out about his passing four months after the event.

Not much of a friend huh? His memory will live on through art awards, the generations of his own family and even in mine. My son will undoubtably hear tales of "the chap I used to work with or the man who painted these pictures".

My tribute to him life is that my life was richer and my heart was fuller through knowing him.

Please everybody, find the time to see those people you care about. Don't put aside the effort required because you are watching the clock. Don't ever have that awful feeling of knowing too late and not having the chance to pay your respects properly.

Hopefully he is sitting in a taverna somewhere in his beloved Greek Islands drinking those Godawful kerosene-like spirits he used to bring back but wherever he is and if there is a chance he can hear me:

I miss you Waldorf!!!!!

Statler

[Trurolexer]

I don't know description about Friend, but I have a lot of Friends here.
A lot of BEST Friends!!!

[toph]

i have many friends from school, Uni, football team, travelling etc. But i am very lucky there are 7 or 8 of us that have been at school since the age of 5 together (some joined at about 10) and we are all still great friends and see each other regularly- usually out drinking but its great having friends like that hat you have known all your life and could trust your own life with.

[Alcan]

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

What is the definition? No, dummies, not what Webster's says. What do you say.

That's easy, Joe. A friend will help you move. A real friend will help you move bodies.

[Trurolexer]

When I was high school I have 6 Best Friends. With me we all 7. We go everywhere together. Well, we're Bad Boys, always fighting all the time, throw neighbor windows with rock, do grafitti everywhere, drinking, smoking, see the porn videos, etc...etc.
We still contact one and others sometimes.
That Days is BEST or WORSE Days of my life...I dunno...

[figbo]

To me,a real friend is the one that you ask to protect your life and you will protect theirs and he will gladly accept.You know where he is from,read his letters and he'll read yours.Sometimes you'll lick his wounds and he'll lick yours.Sometimes you loose your friends in your arms...

[daveathall]

A friend is someone who has the knack of being there when needed, of not being there sometimes, a person who knows when to speak, and what to say, when not to speak, and what not to say, and knows when just listening is all that is required, he is the person who knows that you trust him with you and your families lives, and knows that you would do the same for him and his family.

I have had many acquaintances, some of whom would have given their lives for mine, and I would have done the same for them, but true friends, I have had but a few, some I have had a lifetime, some I have lost, it is one of the greatest honors one can bestow on another human being to say, "He is a true friend"

The word friend has many different meanings for most people, non of them are wrong, the best definition of a friend is " friend". We all know what it means to us, money or possessions cannot buy them, they are just there.

[Trurolexer]

A true friend is...I still can't description it...Sorry...

[jdc]

Originally Posted by Trurolexer

A true friend is...I still can't description it...Sorry...

You are getting as bad as JJ in finding excuses to post TR

[Trurolexer]

Originally Posted by jdc

You are getting as bad as JJ in finding excuses to post TR

Well, I learn from the BEST...

[ratae1950]

Friend? Tough to describe. One thing I realize as I get older is that friends/relationships are the most important 'things' in my life. Much more so than material wealth.
I realized when living in England that one indication of a good friendship is that you could show up at a friends house unannounced walk in [in England it is highly unlikely that a couple would be 'going at it' in the kitchen in day light] and be treated like a part of the family. This 'test' still applies today although interestingly my sense is that Americans are less likely to informally welcome non-family members into their homes. I know this is a generalization.
I was chatting over breakfast with another Englishman living here in the USA about the fact that pubs, social gathering places-homes from home- don't exist here. Maybe this suggests something. Certainly in many US and modern British communities there are fewer opportunities outside of school, work, formal kids activities and church for people to meet and become friends.
Our dream cars isolate us!

[away36]

"You were the one who made things different, you were the one who took me in. You were the one thing I could count on, above all, you were my friend."
- Tom Petty

[Trurolexer]

OK...OK The Best Friend is someone who give his friend the ANCHOR when he know his friend have 3 Subs but don't have even a single anchor?

P.S : You know who you're Buddy...

[Art161]

A true friend will help you out when you are hurting and need help, and not just be there for the good times. Not a fair weather friend. A true friend will OFFER to inconvenience him/herself for you and not consider it to be an inconvenience. It's something he or she WANTS to do for you.

[Jimbits76]

Bubba, can I be your friend?

J

[JJ Irani]

Good post, Bubba. My signature line at the bottom just about says it all!!

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Bubba, can I be your friend?

J

No! You are my darling wife dummy. Now go get me a pint and tell the squids to hush. Pretty PLEASE dear!