Scotsman outwits the English!

[ratae1950]

ChrisTOPHer was the winner of the Premier League, week 5 prediction event?
Not only that, his beloved Rangers also won.
In your honour Chris I attach these fine words by Mr. Burns [translation would be great....]

Address To A Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!

[Jimbits76]

Ah Mr Burns...If Chris is Mr Burns does that make Martin...Mr Smithers???????

J

[Goodwatch]

Fair is your honest happy face
Great chieftain of the pudding race
Above them all you take your place
Stomach, tripe or guts
Well are you worthy of a grace
As long as my arm

The groaning platter there you fill
Your buttocks like a distant hill
Your skewer would help to repair a mill
In time of need
While through your pores the juices emerge
Like amber beads

His knife having seen hard labour wipes
And cuts you up with great skill
Digging into your gushing insides bright
Like any ditch
And then oh what a glorious sight
Warm steaming, rich

Then spoon for spoon
They stretch and strive
Devil take the last man, on they drive
Until all their well swollen bellies
Are bent like drums
Then, the old gent most likely to rift (burp)
Be thanked, mumbles

Is there that over his French Ragout
Or olio that would sicken a pig
Or fricassee would make her vomit
With perfect disgust
Looks down with a sneering scornful opinion
On such a dinner

Poor devil, see him over his trash
As week as a withered rush (reed)
His spindle-shank a good whiplash
His clenched fist.the size of a nut.
Through a bloody flood and battle field to dash
Oh how unfit

But take note of the strong haggis fed Scot
The trembling earth resounds his tread
Clasped in his large fist a blade
He'll make it whistle
And legs and arms and heads he will cut off
Like the tops of thistles

You powers who make mankind your care
And dish them out their meals
Old Scotland wants no watery food
That splashes in dishes
But if you wish her grateful prayer
Give her a haggis!

[ratae1950]

Thanks Frans!

[cameron]

Well done Rangers. Another magnificent performance. Not many people outwith of Scotland know that the Haggis has one leg shorter than the other so that it does not loose its balance as it runs around the mountains. Think that I`ll go out and try to catch one for my dinner tonight.

[jdc]

I cannot think of anything more excruciating than listening to a half cut Scot addressing the haggis and having a wee dram, braveheart my arse. And I have had to sit through one or two with my Scottish friends.

Oh congrats Chris

[cameron]

From up here it`s worse to hear about the Boys of 66 and the only two goal World Cup hat trick.

[jdc]

Originally Posted by cameron

From up here it`s worse to hear about the Boys of 66 and the only two goal World Cup hat trick.

memories of world cups one of my favorites is Ally's Tartan army, white suits, how those two weeks kept every one entertained

[toph]

Peter
I remember reading Burns at school when i was younger.
But even I being Scottish cannot undertstand most of that poem without most of Frans's translation.

Originally Posted by jdc

memories of world cups one of my favorites is Ally's Tartan army, white suits, how those two weeks kept every one entertained

I am too young to remember this but obviously i have seen the clips etc. What was hilarious was When Ally McCleod was being interviewed before the World Cup and he he had been saying that Scotland were going to win it.
So the reporter asked him "what are you going to do after you win the world cup"

Ally's reply "Retain it"- genius

[jdc]

Originally Posted by toph

I am too young to remember this but obviously i have seen the clips etc. What was hilarious was When Ally McCleod was being interviewed before the World Cup and he he had been saying that Scotland were going to win it.
So the reporter asked him "what are you going to do after you win the world cup"

Ally's reply "Retain it"- genius

Argentina 1978 fantastic tournament, England had not qualified and there was huge confidence in Scotland, fans singing "we are on the march with Allys Tartan Army" Song riding high in charts.
Then disaster with Willie Johnson and a failed drug test. They lost first game against Peru, drew against Iran and then in true Scottish style played a blinder against the Dutch with Archie Gemmill scoring one of the greatest ever World Cup goals. But eliminated on goal difference.

[ratae1950]

Originally Posted by toph

Peter
I remember reading Burns at school when i was younger.
But even I being Scottish cannot undertstand most of that poem without most of Frans's translation.




I am too young to remember this but obviously i have seen the clips etc. What was hilarious was When Ally McCleod was being interviewed before the World Cup and he he had been saying that Scotland were going to win it.
So the reporter asked him "what are you going to do after you win the world cup"

Ally's reply "Retain it"- genius

Seeing Fras so quick to the draw I assumed Burns must have been Dutch.

[ratae1950]

Originally Posted by ratae1950

Seeing Fras so quick to the draw I assumed Burns must have been Dutch.

Sorry Fras I meant Frans!

[buz-lh]

Scotsman outwits the English! Is that really difficult?

[jdc]

Originally Posted by buz-lh

Scotsman outwits the English! Is that really difficult?

Gordon Brown

[Andad]

Originally Posted by ratae1950

ChrisTOPHer was the winner of the Premier League, week 5 prediction event?
Not only that, his beloved Rangers also won.
In your honour Chris I attach these fine words by Mr. Burns [translation would be great....]

Address To A Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!

And only one small spelling error.

[cameron]

Seem to remember that Scotland had two points deducted due to the drugs incident so the result against Holland did not matter except from a pride point of view.

[Jimbits76]

Awwwwww Gemmill....what a goal!!!!!

Apart from the fans breaking the posts at Wembley, possibly Scotland's finest football moment!!!!

J

[ratae1950]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Awwwwww Gemmill....what a goal!!!!!

Apart from the fans breaking the posts at Wembley, possibly Scotland's finest football moment!!!!

J

I put the goal post thing down to planning. The lads anticipated the rebuilding of Wembley and began demolition early. I believe Burns wrote a poem about it.

Any poets out there?

[Trurolexer]

Go...Ranger...Go!!!

[cameron]

Some people up here feel that Scotland`s finest moment in football was Maradona`s hand ball. Lots of views changed when several England players signed for the famous Glasgow Rangers and wearing an England top became a fashion statement in some circles.

[cameron]

Cheers !