Tales From The Dark Side: Dating & Prom Mishaps/Disasters

[Taffi Abernathy]

Yes, we've all experienced it (you know you have too!), some of us multiple times, the date from hell, the prom escapade, and if you'll pardon my clinical vernacular, kook-a-boos we are embarrassed to admit we've been out with. If you're really brave, you might even want to upload prom pictures.
Without further ado, bring on your personal tales from the dark side . . .

[Jimbits76]

Mine are way too explicit.

I'm happy to embarrass myself but wouldn't want to offend anybody or drag the forum down to my level of depravity.

Sorry Faith.

J

[swissautopro]

I'll play -

Ahhh ... alas it was my senior prom. That special night for some lucky lady.
Anyhoo, we went to dinner at a fine establishment (approximately 10 of us), but I got the bad filet. By 8:00 I was puking my guts up ... uh ... I mean, vomiting profusely ... and was sick for three days following.

What a freakin' disaster!

But, I believe that is what Faith called for. So, there you have it.

[jdc]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Mine are way too explicit.

I'm happy to embarrass myself but wouldn't want to offend anybody or drag the forum down to my level of depravity.

Sorry Faith.

J

Let me elaborate. T'was a moonlit night. Although the Dog and Duck in Kings Lynn lacked the buzz of the more swanky nightclubs in the West End it did have a rustic charm.
The airforce base was only a few miles away and the American airman were much in demand with the local lasses, and added much merriment to village life; especially the men from the Georgia Goosers. The maverick in the pack was a guy named "afterburner"1957, not for his jet stunts, but his famous chilli escapades.
Runflat'76 was an easy conquest for "afterburner"1957 and after being regaled with tales of tail spins, tagging, and dogfights she soon became his wingman.
The love continued and Runflat'76 was looking forward to moving to the USA and spending her days at the doublewide, but alas it was never to be.

[Lion]

Originally Posted by jdc

Let me elaborate. T'was a moonlit night. Although the Dog and Duck in Kings Lynn lacked the buzz of the more swanky nightclubs in the West End it did have a rustic charm.
The airforce base was only a few miles away and the American airman were much in demand with the local lasses, and added much merriment to village life; especially the men from the Georgia Goosers. The maverick in the pack was a guy named "afterburner"1957, not for his jet stunts, but his famous chilli escapades.
Runflat'76 was an easy conquest for "afterburner"1957 and after being regaled with tales of tail spins, tagging, and dogfights she soon became his wingman.
The love continued and Runflat'76 was looking forward to moving to the USA and spending her days at the doublewide, but alas it was never to be.

And that's the story and we're sticking to it!!!

[Jimbits76]

Originally Posted by jdc

Let me elaborate. T'was a moonlit night. Although the Dog and Duck in Kings Lynn lacked the buzz of the more swanky nightclubs in the West End it did have a rustic charm.
The airforce base was only a few miles away and the American airman were much in demand with the local lasses, and added much merriment to village life; especially the men from the Georgia Goosers. The maverick in the pack was a guy named "afterburner"1957, not for his jet stunts, but his famous chilli escapades.
Runflat'76 was an easy conquest for "afterburner"1957 and after being regaled with tales of tail spins, tagging, and dogfights she soon became his wingman.
The love continued and Runflat'76 was looking forward to moving to the USA and spending her days at the doublewide, but alas it was never to be.

Post of my membership...that made me laugh out loud more than any I've seen here...

Georgia Goosers

J

[jdc]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Post of my membership...that made me laugh out loud more than any I've seen here...

Georgia Goosers

J

thank you kind sir

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by jdc

thank you kind sir

Good one Martin and looks like I came out on top, once again.

[Lisa]

I'd take a pic of my prom pic but I don't know where to find it. My date was a very flamboyant gay guy - but being a naive and unworldly kind of girl I didn't ask him about his orientation. I think a giveaway might have been when he tried on my prom dress and it looked better on him than it did on me. The other giveaway is that I was home by 9pm so he could be well rested for Mother's Day the next day.

Alan, if you're out there, you know I still love you!

[swissautopro]

Originally Posted by Lisa

I'd take a pic of my prom pic but I don't know where to find it. My date was a very flamboyant gay guy - but being a naive and unworldly kind of girl I didn't ask him about his orientation. I think a giveaway might have been when he tried on my prom dress and it looked better on him than it did on me. The other giveaway is that I was home by 9pm so he could be well rested for Mother's Day the next day.

Alan, if you're out there, you know I still love you!

He tried on your prom dress. Hmmm ... does that mean he saw you ... unclothed ... on prom night???

[Lion]

Originally Posted by Lisa

I'd take a pic of my prom pic but I don't know where to find it. My date was a very flamboyant gay guy - but being a naive and unworldly kind of girl I didn't ask him about his orientation. I think a giveaway might have been when he tried on my prom dress and it looked better on him than it did on me. The other giveaway is that I was home by 9pm so he could be well rested for Mother's Day the next day.

Alan, if you're out there, you know I still love you!

Lisa, are you trying to tell us things got kinky and before 9PM!!!

[Taffi Abernathy]

I married my prom mishap. It was the seventies and we were married for approximately 10 minutes. Believe me when I tell you that toasters have longer warranties than this "blessed union." Pictures (either wedding or prom) will follow if I can locate them. After that, prompt entrance into a witness protection program.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by swissautopro

He tried on your prom dress. Hmmm ... does that mean he saw you ... unclothed ... on prom night???

Originally Posted by Lion

Lisa, are you trying to tell us things got kinky and before 9PM!!!

That didn't come out quite right - I meant that he tried it on in the days BEFORE the prom. I was showing it to him so he would know what color tux and shirt to get. Hey, it was the early 1980s - he went with a powder blue tux, and white shirt with peach-trimmed ruffles. Geez, I need to find that picture.

The girl and her date we doubled with left even before we did - her pet mare was foaling that night! Can't make this stuff up!

[Taffi Abernathy]

[QUOTE=Lisa;1212719]That didn't come out quite right - I meant that he tried it on in the days BEFORE the prom. I was showing it to him so he would know what color tux and shirt to get. Hey, it was the early 1980s - he went with a powder blue tux, and white shirt with peach-trimmed ruffles. Geez, I need to find that picture.

No need to feel embarrassed, you are among friends. Please dollface, save your defense for the jury.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

No need to feel embarrassed, you are among friends. Please dollface, save your defense for the jury.

Seriously - all my wild stories happened in college! I escaped high school with a fair amount of innocence.

[scottschoe]

Prom fell on the night of my 18th birthday. Took the limo, got the pics, and left after 15mins to hit up bars instead - a better alternative.

[Lion]

Well now Lisa, I'm glad you set the record straight because my mind was contemplating the different scenarios!!!

[diablojota]

I didn't have any prom stories. All mine went fine. The one story that I do have is with regards to the girl I dated in high school. Her curfew was fairly early (I didn't really have one), so we were on our way back to her house (actually a single-wide). We had about 15 minutes to kill before we needed to get her home, so we pulled off onto a dirt road. After a nice little make out session, I went to turn the car around only to find that the car had sunk down to the frame in the sand. Uh-oh!!! And we needed to get her home in 5 minutes! There's a whole back story, but I'll just say her step-father scared me a little bit. So here we are, stuck in the sand, I'm terrified of what her step-dad is going to do to me and we are running out of time. Since it was a St. Patrick's day evening, we said we got stuck in traffic (yes, I had a cellphone back then, although they were clunky and huge and had zero battery life and zero reception). That bought us enough time to get a friend out with her truck. Well, she tried to pull the car out, and nothing happened. Long story short, we called her stepdad to get her, I called a tow truck, and things were not pretty. Her dad saw the windows with a slight fogging and was pretty furious. She got grounded. My parents didn't do anything to me. But at the time it was terrifying. My mom still loves to tell her friends the story of how I got stuck in the sand...

[Taffi Abernathy]

Please join me in celebrating what was to be my 10 minutes of wedded bliss. In an act of portentousness, I broke my leg the day before the wedding rushing to take care of last minute details. In fact, I fell running up the steps. A girlfriend came over concerned about my fall, drove me to the hospital, and after the results of the x-ray were read, the nurses hobbled down the corridor singing "Here Comes The Bride." Yes, it was ominous . . .

(Pictures were taken by my girlfriend approximately one hour after the ceremony.)

[swissautopro]

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

Please join me in celebrating what was to be my 10 minutes of wedded bliss. In an act of portentousness, I broke my leg the day before the wedding rushing to take care of last minute details. In fact, I fell running up the steps. A girlfriend came over concerned about my fall, drove me to the hospital, and after the results of the x-ray were read, the nurses hobbled down the corridor singing "Here Comes The Bride." Yes, it was ominous . . .

(Pictures were taken by my girlfriend approximately one hour after the ceremony.)

You are ... truly ... the bravest soul on this forum. I salute you!

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by swissautopro

You are ... truly ... the bravest soul on this forum. I salute you!

Seriously - bravo!!!

That guy's hair is about to take flight or something! (Faith, I agree with Lisa, though...)

[Taffi Abernathy]

[QUOTE=Carolina;1212863]Seriously - bravo!!!

That guy's hair is about to take flight or something!

If memory serves my divorce lawyer cited his hair as the primary grounds for divorce.

[Taffi Abernathy]

Originally Posted by swissautopro

You are ... truly ... the bravest soul on this forum. I salute you!

Thank you, but I think it's more stupidity than bravery (and I can't blame this lapse of judgment on illegal substances since I don't use them).

[Lisa]

My gosh, Faith - you never said you were married to Howard Stern!

And you're about 9 kinds of babes! I just made up that term but it fits!

Soo... really married for 10 minutes? Why? Just to say you were?

[ijen0311]

There's really no nice way to tell this story, but the thread brought up this repressed memory so here goes.

I was on a first date with a guy in college, he parked his car at my place and we went to dinner. When we came back, he came inside to use the bathroom before he left. While he was standing up to pee, he farted, but he had explosive diarrhea and and it went, literally, everywhere. NO, I don't know why his pants were off, and I certainly never followed up to ask.

I had just moved into this apartment (my first!) and had the cutest bathroom stuff. Well the mat, the shower curtain, and yes, even the decorative towel, went in the garbage (he actually asked if I wanted to throw it in the laundry!). I tossed rolls and rolls of paper towels and garbage bags down the hallway until he finally came out. I didn't use that bathroom for weeks, and after that, I was always fearful that he had missed a spot.

I was nice to him after that when I saw him around school, but he could never look me in the eye...

[Taffi Abernathy]

[QUOTE=ijen0311;1212876]There's really no nice way to tell this story, but the thread brought up this repressed memory so here goes.

Nice doesn't factor into the equation - it was damn funny. Let's see, this guy went number 1 and number 2 (with a vengeance!), what about number 3 - projectile vomiting?

[ijen0311]

[QUOTE=Taffi Abernathy;1212896]

Originally Posted by ijen0311

There's really no nice way to tell this story, but the thread brought up this repressed memory so here goes.

Nice doesn't factor into the equation - it was damn funny. Let's see, this guy went number 1 and number 2 (with a vengeance!), what about number 3 - projectile vomiting?

Faith, the only one with the projectile vomiting was me after that incident...

[bradiowausa]

Originally Posted by ijen0311

There's really no nice way to tell this story, but the thread brought up this repressed memory so here goes.

I was on a first date with a guy in college, he parked his car at my place and we went to dinner. When we came back, he came inside to use the bathroom before he left. While he was standing up to pee, he farted, but he had explosive diarrhea and and it went, literally, everywhere. NO, I don't know why his pants were off, and I certainly never followed up to ask.

I had just moved into this apartment (my first!) and had the cutest bathroom stuff. Well the mat, the shower curtain, and yes, even the decorative towel, went in the garbage (he actually asked if I wanted to throw it in the laundry!). I tossed rolls and rolls of paper towels and garbage bags down the hallway until he finally came out. I didn't use that bathroom for weeks, and after that, I was always fearful that he had missed a spot.

I was nice to him after that when I saw him around school, but he could never look me in the eye...

[onkyo]

Originally Posted by ijen0311

There's really no nice way to tell this story, but the thread brought up this repressed memory so here goes.

I was on a first date with a guy in college, he parked his car at my place and we went to dinner. When we came back, he came inside to use the bathroom before he left. While he was standing up to pee, he farted, but he had explosive diarrhea and and it went, literally, everywhere. NO, I don't know why his pants were off, and I certainly never followed up to ask.

I had just moved into this apartment (my first!) and had the cutest bathroom stuff. Well the mat, the shower curtain, and yes, even the decorative towel, went in the garbage (he actually asked if I wanted to throw it in the laundry!). I tossed rolls and rolls of paper towels and garbage bags down the hallway until he finally came out. I didn't use that bathroom for weeks, and after that, I was always fearful that he had missed a spot.

I was nice to him after that when I saw him around school, but he could never look me in the eye...

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by ijen0311

There's really no nice way to tell this story, but the thread brought up this repressed memory so here goes.

I was on a first date with a guy in college, he parked his car at my place and we went to dinner. When we came back, he came inside to use the bathroom before he left. While he was standing up to pee, he farted, but he had explosive diarrhea and and it went, literally, everywhere. NO, I don't know why his pants were off, and I certainly never followed up to ask.

I had just moved into this apartment (my first!) and had the cutest bathroom stuff. Well the mat, the shower curtain, and yes, even the decorative towel, went in the garbage (he actually asked if I wanted to throw it in the laundry!). I tossed rolls and rolls of paper towels and garbage bags down the hallway until he finally came out. I didn't use that bathroom for weeks, and after that, I was always fearful that he had missed a spot.

I was nice to him after that when I saw him around school, but he could never look me in the eye...

That is truly a tale from the darkside.