Divorcing

[rolio]

After almost 40 years of marriage, I am separated/divorcing. I had to sell my Classic 16710. It broke my heart to sell my prized watch but needed the cash. One day, again. Anyone been through this

[AzPaul]

Sorry to hear. Never an easy thing.

[shaunylw]

Sorry to hear it!


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[Dr. Robert]

Been there, done that…..twice!
Sending good vibes


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[JasoninDenver]

Been there and, for me, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Also spent 20 years doing divorce and family law.

Life will be different for sure. Things will be tough for awhile but eventually get better and one day you may likely even feel your new life is better than you could ever have imagined.

Every single guy for whom I handled a divorce, and there have been 30-40, eventually realized that they had settled for a less than ideal situation or been unhappy for years. Even those guys who did not want the divorce initially. Every single one was actually happier AFTER the divorce. It may take a year or two, but I believe you will get there as well.

Don’t be afraid to get counseling as you go through this. It is hard and I really think the people who came out of this the best were those who tackled the grief and heartache head on with help.

Good luck.

[subtona]

Originally Posted by JasoninDenver

Been there and, for me, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Also spent 20 years doing divorce and family law.

Life will be different for sure. Things will be tough for awhile but eventually get better and one day you may likely even feel your new life is better than you could ever have imagined.

Every single guy for whom I handled a divorce, and there have been 30-40, eventually realized that they had settled for a less than ideal situation or been unhappy for years. Even those guys who did not want the divorce initially. Every single one was actually happier AFTER the divorce. It may take a year or two, but I believe you will get there as well.

Don’t be afraid to get counseling as you go through this. It is hard and I really think the people who came out of this the best were those who tackled the grief and heartache head on with help.

Good luck.

Thoughtful words.

Any life change, relationship or job or home in my experience takes a minimum of a year to start to settle in. Best of luck to you.

[Star Ferry]

Happens to the best of us — the statistics say that men tend to recover faster financially or even do better post-divorce — just takes some time. Personally I’m doing 100x better after, in all aspects (emotionally, spiritually, etc.). Just going to take time to grieve and realize you are your own person and are more than half of a couple.

[TswaneNguni]

Originally Posted by JasoninDenver

Every single guy for whom I handled a divorce, and there have been 30-40, eventually realized that they had settled for a less than ideal situation or been unhappy for years.

Perhaps that's the saddest part .. " been unhappy for years ... "

Life is short and unhappy years do not count.

All the best to the OP .

[7sins]

Originally Posted by JasoninDenver

Been there and, for me, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Also spent 20 years doing divorce and family law.

Life will be different for sure. Things will be tough for awhile but eventually get better and one day you may likely even feel your new life is better than you could ever have imagined.

Every single guy for whom I handled a divorce, and there have been 30-40, eventually realized that they had settled for a less than ideal situation or been unhappy for years. Even those guys who did not want the divorce initially. Every single one was actually happier AFTER the divorce. It may take a year or two, but I believe you will get there as well.

Don’t be afraid to get counseling as you go through this. It is hard and I really think the people who came out of this the best were those who tackled the grief and heartache head on with help.

Good luck.

This is excellent advice. Only thing I would add would be to find new hobbies that you enjoy and can distract you ie scuba diving or get your pilots license. Go to the gym, get healthier, feel better about yourself. You have to be good with you before taking the next steps to move forward. I've seen the challenges my father faced/faces going through his current divorce and best thing for him was joining a post divorce support group. He made a lot of new friends who were all in a similar situation. The worst thing to do is sit at home, by yourself and dwell in your own subconscious.

[wesdaniel]

Wow. Sorry to hear. That's got to be tough to reconcile (the divorce) after so long.

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by rolio

After almost 40 years of marriage, I am separated/divorcing. I had to sell my Classic 16710. It broke my heart to sell my prized watch but needed the cash. One day, again. Anyone been through this

I do hope it settles quickly for you and your family.

[TheVTCGuy]

I am sorry man, I am divorced, but, well, she got pregnant by another man while I was overseas fighting a war and ran off with him, I never saw her again. In some ways that was the best thing that could have happened. Anyway, this thread is about you, not me. I hope the best for you, I can only imagine how difficult it is… but, well, I hope things work out very quickly. As for the watch, you will get another, keep the faith.

[Moondoggy]

Jasonindenver has nailed it, will take up to two years. Good luck with it all.

[colpol]

Not a divorce but a few breakups

I got over my first breakup by swimming / cycling. Rather than come home from work & think about things. I’d pack my trunks & head to the local swimming pool or get the bike out for a 2 hour cycle. The key is something to immerse yourself in & take your mind off it. Sometimes not too healthy to think too much for too long.

Good luck & all the best. Hope you start a new watch fund soon

[aczaja10]

Originally Posted by colpol

Not a divorce but a few breakups

I got over my first breakup by swimming / cycling. Rather than come home from work & think about things. I’d pack my trunks & head to the local swimming pool or get the bike out for a 2 hour cycle. The key is something to immerse yourself in & take your mind off it. Sometimes not too healthy to think too much for too long.

Good luck & all the best. Hope you start a new watch fund soon

This is incredibly wise advice.

[dualcarb]

Sorry to hear man…I wish you the best of luck. And I do hope that everything will get easier for you soon

[Heff]

Sorry to hear it brother. Some advice: delete Facebook, hit the gym, and be positive.


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[joa]

Originally Posted by Heff

Sorry to hear it brother. Some advice: delete Facebook, hit the gym, and be positive.


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spot on advice !

i divorced ca. 6 years ago, it doesn't have to be a total drama.

as long as you create yourself a path towards a rebound (and don't self pity too much), things will be good again

[brandrea]

Better days ahead OP. I hope you can settle things amicably and that if kids are involved you can both be at your best to support them.

Onward and upward, stay positive

[harvey]

…wishing you strength during this time…and hope things will be amicable between you both.

use this space to vent if need be as I am sure there will be support here.

[superdog]

Going through it now.

There is a path to reconciliation, but it’s a long one. And the last year has been a challenge, to say the least.

Ups and downs for sure. Just when you think things suck, they start to look up. Then when you think the bad times are over, you get a sucker punch and they begin anew.

Deleting social media is definitely great advice. So is going to the gym and starting some positive habits.

[Danny83]

Originally Posted by superdog

Going through it now.

There is a path to reconciliation, but it’s a long one. And the last year has been a challenge, to say the least.

Ups and downs for sure. Just when you think things suck, they start to look up. Then when you think the bad times are over, you get a sucker punch and they begin anew.

Deleting social media is definitely great advice. So is going to the gym and starting some positive habits.

Sorry to hear Seth. But glad you are good

[mountainjogger]

Sorry. But things will get better.

[JayHantz]

I have gone through it as well, and it is not easy.

The best thing you can do is focus on yourself and not the situation. Do not isolate yourself either; stay close with your friends and reach out when you need to. The advice to delete/stay away from social media is spot on because there may be times you find yourself looking, questioning, and getting sucked into what is going on. Take some time for the gym and yourself.

Lastly, know that it sucks, but know that better days are coming and that you will be alright.

[lear60man]

Originally Posted by JayHantz

I have gone through it as well, and it is not easy.

The best thing you can do is focus on yourself and not the situation. Do not isolate yourself either; stay close with your friends and reach out when you need to. The advice to delete/stay away from social media is spot on because there may be times you find yourself looking, questioning, and getting sucked into what is going on. Take some time for the gym and yourself.

Lastly, know that it sucks, but know that better days are coming and that you will be alright.

Spot on. Avoiding isolation is the key. Reach out to long time friends, make plans, do things you always wanted to do. Go travel, skydive, hit the gym etc. Avoid hitting the bottle or worse. Get a puppy.

[scarlet knight]

So sorry to hear. Sometimes what seems like a bad thing is a good thing. I was fired from my first job. I soon got a job with a much better firm and I was inspired to later start my own firm. I had a very successful career and retired early. You may be thanking your ex-wife for putting you on a better path.

[travisb]

I'm sorry to hear. I hope you find yourself in a much better place.

[enjoythemusic]

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While not the married thing, i have walked away taking only my clothing, personal electronics, and basic stuff. It gave me the opportunity to 'start fresh'. It's not about where you're from, it's where you're going. Evolution.....

[joli160]

I know all about it, it hurts plenty.
Watches are just things, not important. Wish you well

[austinp]

Move to a 55 and up community. You’ll have more “dates” and free food than you can imagine.


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