Dating today, better or worse than when you were a young adult?

[Chewbacca]

Seems worse!!!!


What say you all?!?!?!??!!!???!!!??!!!!!

[Blansky]

It's like fishing.

It depends what you're using for bait. That never changes.

[MrGoat]

I have no idea. I presume it’s easier considering all the different apps and whatnot. But probably a lot easier to get scammed or catfished these days.

Thankfully I’m not anywhere close to being or wanting to be in the dating scene.


Sent from my Apple privacy invasion product

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by Blansky

It's like fishing.

It depends what you're using for bait. That never changes.

Money?

[330ci]

Dating when I was younger was fun.

Dating today makes me want to pay a surrogate and purchase eggs to breed my offspring.

[AzPaul]

It can't be better than when I was young.
Those truly were the best of times

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by Chewbacca

Money?

Money, looks, personality....how much hair a person has??

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by Blansky

Money, looks, personality....how much hair a person has??

Jeebus.

[Fashionwatch]

I feel it’s a bit better these days with all the platforms made for it, but I feel it used to be great I personally miss the good old days.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by Chewbacca

Jeebus.

You'd be fine.

2 outa 3 ain't bad.

[Star Ferry]

It’s far more “winner take all” than ever before. The internet means one guy can get 50 dates while dozens of others get zero dates. I’ve dated all kinds of young women — mostly they are unhappy, selfish, and entitled. Social media has warped their minds into expecting an endless private jet ride full of champagne and luxury goods.

Fortunately I have an awesome girlfriend who is appreciative, generous, modest, and has a strong set of values. She’d rather read a Christian devotional book than get drunk on a jet, and that’s fine by me. But it’s hard to find young women like her anymore.

[superdog]

I thought it would be easy.

I did pretty well when I was a kid. I mean, I taught yoga. Owned a few studios. I had a blast.

But even aside from that, I did very well.

I thought it would be super easy now. Older, lots of hair, better off financially, and at 48 most guys are not in my shape.

But no. It’s not easy at all. I have to work at it harder than I used to. Then again, I’m still chasing 20 and 30 year olds. Even so, it’s a challenge for sure. Not a ton of fun. Prefer my alone time now more too. Less willing to play the games.

But certainly the fun moments make up for the effort, to a certain degree. Still, way harder than I thought.

[7sins]

It's the mentality that has changed. For those that are older, the dating mentality before dating apps was "fix not replace". Now it is replace not fix as accessibility has never been easier and often people are always chasing the next best thing. I do believe it is more geographically dependent. In my case, I noticed dating in LA, full of women with false entitlement and 10s that can't count to 10 is much less gratifying than dating in Europe.

[HHIslander]

If you're looking for some short-term companionship of a no strings nature, it's much better. If you're looking for a relationship, it's a nightmare compared to the olden days. This is what the single folks my age tell me these days. ymmv.

[brandrea]

Can’t help you Chewie, happily married here.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by superdog

I thought it would be easy.

I did pretty well when I was a kid. I mean, I taught yoga. Owned a few studios. I had a blast.

But even aside from that, I did very well.

I thought it would be super easy now. Older, lots of hair, better off financially, and at 48 most guys are not in my shape.

But no. It’s not easy at all. I have to work at it harder than I used to. Then again, I’m still chasing 20 and 30 year olds. Even so, it’s a challenge for sure. Not a ton of fun. Prefer my alone time now more too. Less willing to play the games.

But certainly the fun moments make up for the effort, to a certain degree. Still, way harder than I thought.

I've always in life been a believer in the "go out and chase it" no matter what it was. But there is also a school of thought pertaining to 'fate' or luck that says good things will come to you. Wu-Wei. The art of letting things happen, and of letting go. ( I know that'll bend a few people outa shape)

When after 2 failed relationships of 16 years in total, I moved to LA and started chasing. I went out almost every night and met and dated a lot of women and Mrs. Right was not in the group. I dated doctors, lawyers, psychologists, bar waitresses, office workers etc etc. Did it for 5 years.

Then one day as I said in a previous post SHE came to me. I was laying in a hospital bed there she was. My ailment was 'unnatural", unexpected, and happened only once. I would have had no other way to meet her.

I was there and she showed up.

If there's a moral to the story, I don't know what it is, but sometimes circumstances/fate/luck just show up.

[huncho]

Originally Posted by 7sins

In my case, I noticed dating in LA, full of women with false entitlement and 10s that can't count to 10 is much less gratifying than dating in Europe.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

It’s far more “winner take all” than ever before. The internet means one guy can get 50 dates while dozens of others get zero dates. I’ve dated all kinds of young women — mostly they are unhappy, selfish, and entitled. Social media has warped their minds into expecting an endless private jet ride full of champagne and luxury goods.

When I moved to LA in the middle 80s I realized that most people were not from here, and the saying was 'they either had a headshot or a screenplay in their back pocket". Looking to score in the "biz". "I love LA, I've got friends here I haven't even used yet".

My buddy was a good looking guy and a bartender wanting to be an actor and had women lined up at the door of the bar every night wanting to go home with him. Everything was about looks.

Another buddy that used to frequent the bar was a bookish ok looking guy who couldn't find any dates. Women wouldn't give him a second look. BUT the guy drove an expensive BMW, had an ocean view condo in Santa Monica, designed computer system and flew fighter jets as his day job. (f14,f16 can't remember which, but he was Navy I believe and worked for Grumman on the computer capabilities.)

And couldn't get laid. That was LA, all about looks. He eventually went back to NY/Long Island and had women all over him. NY was about money.

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by Blansky

When I moved to LA in the middle 80s I realized that most people were not from here, and the saying was 'they either had a headshot or a screenplay in their back pocket". Looking to score in the "biz". "I love LA, I've got friends here I haven't even used yet".

My buddy was a good looking guy and a bartender wanting to be an actor and had women lined up at the door of the bar every night wanting to go home with him. Everything was about looks.

Another buddy that used to frequent the bar was a bookish ok looking guy who couldn't find any dates. Women wouldn't give him a second look. BUT the guy drove an expensive BMW, had an ocean view condo in Santa Monica, designed computer system and flew fighter jets as his day job. (f14,f16 can't remember which, but he was Navy I believe and worked for Grumman on the computer capabilities.)

And couldn't get laid. That was LA, all about looks. He eventually went back to NY/Long Island and had women all over him. NY was about money.

I have heard that about LA (that dating is very image oriented). I think money ends up mattering most in the places where it’s scarce, so although it would get you far here in dating it would get you much farther in Bangkok or São Paulo.

Regardless of how a guy gets his dates, though, a lot of the girls are painful to spend time with. Many are not friendly or open people, and mostly care about “what can you do for me now?”

One of my older (60+) friends says a guy in medical school used to be a big catch, but now it’s just somebody with no income, because they’re now evaluating men like Wall Street evaluates stocks. Meaning they don’t care what you’ll make in 3 years, it’s all about the next quarterly earnings report

[7sins]

Originally Posted by Blansky

When I moved to LA in the middle 80s I realized that most people were not from here, and the saying was 'they either had a headshot or a screenplay in their back pocket". Looking to score in the "biz". "I love LA, I've got friends here I haven't even used yet".

My buddy was a good looking guy and a bartender wanting to be an actor and had women lined up at the door of the bar every night wanting to go home with him. Everything was about looks.

Another buddy that used to frequent the bar was a bookish ok looking guy who couldn't find any dates. Women wouldn't give him a second look. BUT the guy drove an expensive BMW, had an ocean view condo in Santa Monica, designed computer system and flew fighter jets as his day job. (f14,f16 can't remember which, but he was Navy I believe and worked for Grumman on the computer capabilities.)

And couldn't get laid. That was LA, all about looks. He eventually went back to NY/Long Island and had women all over him. NY was about money.

A lot has changed here since the 80s. Go to any nice LA restaurant and without fail, you are surrounded by wealthy men 70+ years old with 20-30 year old models. Looks aren't as much as a priority as is wealth/materialistic goals and or how they can use you to progress their career. I'm out almost every night here in LA with clients and has become a challenging place to meet intelligent, ambitious and independent women. Clearly this isn't all of LA and there are plenty of great women but it is a very different mentality than almost every city I have been, including 15+ countries I lived in my 20s and now mid 30s.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by 7sins

A lot has changed here since the 80s. Go to any nice LA restaurant and without fail, you are surrounded by wealthy men 70+ years old with 20-30 year old models. Looks aren't as much as a priority as is wealth/materialistic goals and or how they can use you to progress their career. I'm out almost every night here in LA with clients and has become a challenging place to meet intelligent, ambitious and independent women. Clearly this isn't all of LA and there are plenty of great women but it is a very different mentality than almost every city I have been, including 15+ countries I lived in my 20s and now mid 30s.

I also think it's the feeling that something/someone better is just around the corner due the the fact that there are so many people.

I grew up in a fairly small city and when you were attracted to and found someone, you stopped shopping. You weren't constantly thinking of trading-up or going hmmmm, I wonder if I can do better.

In LA I found that the ones I was most attracted to were chicks from the Midwest and that mentality more than some plastic thing floating around LA looking to hit the jackpot with her, fake face, fake nails, fake blonde hair and her leased BMW.

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by brandrea

Can’t help you Chewie, happily married here.

I don’t want your help. You’ve done enough damage around here!!!!!

Reported!!!!!

[asloper6001]

There is a reason the Tinder Swindler was successful for so long and all the dimes are hanging out with Dan Bilzerean*. lol

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by Chewbacca

I don’t want your help. You’ve done enough damage around here!!!!!



Reported!!!!!

Sent from my SM-G960W using Tapatalk

[7sins]

Originally Posted by Blansky

I also think it's the feeling that something/someone better is just around the corner due the the fact that there are so many people.

I grew up in a fairly small city and when you were attracted to and found someone, you stopped shopping. You weren't constantly thinking of trading-up or going hmmmm, I wonder if I can do better.

In LA I found that the ones I was most attracted to were chicks from the Midwest and that mentality more than some plastic thing floating around LA looking to hit the jackpot with her, fake face, fake nails, fake blonde hair and her leased BMW.

Couldn't agree more, 100% spot on, terribly toxic to be surrounded by those type of people. I would have left this city LONG ago if my career permitted.

[Bluside]

I cringe at the thought of dating again.

[walds11]

Originally Posted by Bluside

I cringe at the thought of dating again.

This infinite %.

[East Bay Rider]

Thirty year wedding anniversary coming up in October so I can't speak from experience but I've observed the dating lives of my son (26) and his friends so that makes me an expert.
My observation is that "they" (young people) match up online and then "talk" for a while through text. Maybe they send pictures or communicate via Snapchat or some other medium. Connections come and go, interests wane and they often never even meet in person.
It just seems to be missing the excitement of real dating. Getting dressed up, meeting, having real conversations, wondering if you'll continue or not. Winning hearts, striking out - sure it sucks sometimes but at least it seemed real.
I don't envy anyone going through whatever this dating process is now.

[East Bay Rider]

Edited:
Maybe you'll know:
I seem to remember at one time there was a dating app that catered exclusively to college grads, maybe it was even only to those with advanced degrees. Does that still exist? I don't remember.
Anyone?

[INC]

Originally Posted by Chewbacca

What say you all?!?!?!??!!!???!!!??!!!!!

I have no idea, because compared to you, I'm not a young adult, but only teenager only

Anyway, I personally think that because people live their fake lives on the internet these days, they don't want to deal with a real partnership anymore. There are too many problems to face reality, and it's much harder to lie about themselfs live.

This is the Matrix.