ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

padi56 · 2 February 2006, 02:46 AM

01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at the footy, and your pies are getting wet, then for the eating period only it is permissible.

02: It is OK for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.

03: Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

05: If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.

08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or

LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she's withholding s*x pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey s*x, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story

JJ Irani · 2 February 2006, 02:55 AM

Liked #21.

2 February 2006, 03:28 AM

Number 27 gets my

Goodwatch · 2 February 2006, 04:23 AM

Omg,

#2e

Launch Mini · 2 February 2006, 04:46 AM

Don't for get the "Road trip rules"
Especially, ( Cliff ahem) DO NOT TELL your wife what we did in Vegas.

padi56 · 2 February 2006, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

Omg,

#2e

Thought that would bring a tear to your eye Frans.(2e. When she is using her teeth.)PS I am fine now Frans as Mrs Padi keeps hers in a glass beside the bed)

Goodwatch · 2 February 2006, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

Thought that would bring a tear to your eye Frans.(2e. When she is using her teeth.)PS I am fine now Frans as Mrs Padi keeps hers in a glass beside the bed)

Bloody, bloody, bloody hell, stop

That's it, need clean pair of pants

C.J. · 2 February 2006, 06:07 AM

mailman · 2 February 2006, 08:36 AM

#16a should read: Women are permitted to watch sports with said mate only if topless.

Gedanken · 2 February 2006, 10:17 AM

ROTFLMAO!!! I thought you said you'd never been to Melbourne, Peter!

JJ, forget 21 and pay attention to 26!

JJ Irani · 2 February 2006, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gedanken

ROTFLMAO!!! I thought you said you'd never been to Melbourne, Peter!

JJ, forget 21 and pay attention to 26!

Mine's silver, ya tosser #1.

padi56 · 2 February 2006, 09:19 PM

2 February 2006, 04:23 AM	#4
Goodwatch "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Real Name: Frans ® Location: Rotterdam Watch: the sunrise... Posts: 10,230	Omg, #2e __________________ Member# 127 Last edited by Goodwatch; 2 February 2006 at 04:23 AM..

2 February 2006, 04:46 AM	#5
Launch Mini "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Real Name: John Location: Canada, eh Watch: can I? Posts: 6,240	Don't for get the "Road trip rules" Especially, ( Cliff ahem) DO NOT TELL your wife what we did in Vegas. __________________ Something witty to go here. Member # 293

2 February 2006, 08:36 AM	#9
mailman TRF Moderator & SubLV41 2024 Patron Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: . Watch: 126610LN Posts: 35,510	#16a should read: Women are permitted to watch sports with said mate only if topless. __________________ JJ

2 February 2006, 10:17 AM	#10
Gedanken "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Sir Location: Melbourne Watch: F-series SD Posts: 8,589	ROTFLMAO!!! I thought you said you'd never been to Melbourne, Peter! JJ, forget 21 and pay attention to 26! __________________ You buy a Casio to make sure you're on time; you wear a Rolex because you don't have to be on time.

2 February 2006, 09:19 PM	#12
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,064	__________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

2 February 2006, 02:46 AM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,064	International Rules Of Manhood. 01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at the footy, and your pies are getting wet, then for the eating period only it is permissible. 02: It is OK for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. c. After wrecking your boss' car. d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". e. When she is using her teeth. 03: Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates. 04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 05: If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. 06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. 08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 11: It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free. 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts. 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both that's just greedy. 19: If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she's withholding sx pending your response. 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: a. Yeah, Baby, Push it! b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c. Another set and we can hit the showers! 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sx with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey s*x, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs. 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

2 February 2006, 02:55 AM	#2
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	Liked #21. __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

2 February 2006, 03:28 AM	#3
Atomic Guest Posts: n/a	Number 27 gets my

2 February 2006, 06:07 AM	#8
C.J. "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: * Posts: 10,196

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode