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Old 22 June 2017, 11:55 AM   #31
GB-man
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You are the single best troll in the history of all forums I have visited. That's saying somenting as I've been on a lot of forums! I don't even mind you, that's how good you are. It's unbelievable.
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Old 22 June 2017, 12:46 PM   #32
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They just need a shop vac.
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Old 22 June 2017, 01:21 PM   #33
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Have the carpet cleaned and forget about it. Does this guy ever have a "normal" post?


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Old 22 June 2017, 02:17 PM   #34
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Did they find out who the ashes belonged to?
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Old 22 June 2017, 03:21 PM   #35
BristolCavendish
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Did they find out who the ashes belonged to?
Haven't the foggiest, Larry. I would imagine that a starting point would be for the coroner's office to research property tax records and deeds listing all of the previous owners of the house. After that, the next steps would probably involve confirming ID through funeral home records and then trying to locate any living relatives to pass the remains on to. If the deceased were from out of state or unrelated to any of the previous homeowners, the ID process just got a bit harder. From what I understand, there were no legible inscriptions on the containers so for all we know, they might even be pet remains.
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Old 22 June 2017, 04:07 PM   #36
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BC - I always find your threads interesting or amusing.
To my recollection, you have not yet called anyone a liar or a troll, and you generally respond in good humor.
Your stories are at least as credible as some of the "Which should I buy, the Lambo or the Ferrari" threads.
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Old 22 June 2017, 05:45 PM   #37
Ruud Van Driver
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This thread is awesome. This weekend, I'm going to go find a couple of urns in a Chinese tat shop and if we ever sell our house, I'm going to fill them with ash and hide them in a wardrobe before we move out
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Old 22 June 2017, 05:48 PM   #38
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This thread is awesome. This weekend, I'm going to go find a couple of urns in a Chinese tat shop and if we ever sell our house, I'm going to fill them with ash and hide them in a wardrobe before we move out
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Rolex uses rare elves to polish the platinum. They have a union deal and make like $90 per hour and get time and half on weekends.
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Old 22 June 2017, 06:02 PM   #39
BristolCavendish
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This thread is awesome. This weekend, I'm going to go find a couple of urns in a Chinese tat shop and if we ever sell our house, I'm going to fill them with ash and hide them in a wardrobe before we move out
^^^^^
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Old 22 June 2017, 07:41 PM   #40
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This thread is awesome. This weekend, I'm going to go find a couple of urns in a Chinese tat shop and if we ever sell our house, I'm going to fill them with ash and hide them in a wardrobe before we move out
.... forlorn ashes 101 ... have fun Ruud.
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Old 22 June 2017, 07:56 PM   #41
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You know what this reminds me of? Anyone remember that "Married with children" episode with the barbecue and ashes?
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Old 23 June 2017, 12:44 AM   #42
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Pics or it didn't happen
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Old 23 June 2017, 02:28 AM   #43
BristolCavendish
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You know what this reminds me of? Anyone remember that "Married with children" episode with the barbecue and ashes?
I remember that one Paul. Al Bundy was very proud of the 'special ashes' that he had accrued over the years in his Weber kettle. When Peg accidentally knocked it over and spilled them all over the patio, Bud and Kelly unknowingly emptied an urn containing Grandma's ashes into the Weber kettle in order to replace them. At the backyard barbeque, everyone raved about how good Al's burgers tasted until one by one (with the exception of Al and Marcie) they found out why. Hilarious episode.
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Old 23 June 2017, 03:49 PM   #44
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I suggest you have merely added dramatic flavoring to a conversation about your suggestion for wooden floor covering whilst explaining their objective reasoning behind carpeting - are you a hardwood flooring sales person by any chance?

It strikes me in these austere times this career may open itself to plenty spare time dreaming up the most colorful outrageous stories highlighting life's quandaries but maybe that's just a coincidence
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Old 23 June 2017, 11:20 PM   #45
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I enjoy Bristol's posts even if his stories are believable or not. They bring life to the open discussion forum.

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you all realize he's just Verbal Kent'n us, right? ever since the guidance counsellor thread and his response to it, i'm kinda thinking we're a proving ground for a blog or pilot episode somewhere....
"The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like orca fat."
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