Has any of you regret not having children?

[CRM114]

Originally Posted by 1William

I think in life there are a few things that you don't know until you have experienced it. As a young man I would have told you that I did not want to marry or have children. I am married and have been with my wife for 27 years and have two children. I would not have known unless I did it. Somethings you don't know until you do them. To each their own and the right choice is the one you make.

My sentiments and story exactly. When young I never even entertained the notion of getting married before 30 and reckoned having kids before 35 would undo all the awesome life plans I imagined. It's not that I was afraid of having them "someday" or disliked them, it's just that the were something I might get around to somewhere over the horizon when I had everything else in order (whatever that means). I was sure of this until Life threw me a curveball of an unplanned baby in my mid-20s and invalidated that plan. After the first, more arrived.

It didn't take long to realize that the aforementioned curve ball was the best thing that ever happened, and my original Me-centric plan for life being scrapped has always felt like a giant stroke of luck or dodging a bullet of missing out. After they began arriving, those things that had previously seemed so ominous about having babies...being "tied down" with responsibility, time that was not my own to spend as I pleased, financial burden, etc etc...didn't evaporate into nothing but the upside outweighed the downside so profoundly that for myself I can't imagine a full, fun life without having them.

I never looked at one of my kids and wished they were a sports car, or more nights out on the town, or a larger bank account number. My kids were taken traveling which opened up their world just as mine was when I was growing up traveling with my parents. I travel all the time w/o family doing my job, but the trips with kids were always better, a lot more fun.

Everyone is different. I certainly used to believe differently before the unexpected happened, but having kids is one of the few things in life that occur that can completely change aspects of one's world view while at the same time reinforcing others. Money, for example. Adult toys are nice, but I can't imagine a better reason or motivator for earning money than to spend it raising a family. More beer? Newer/better cars or bigger boats? More expensive watches? I don't miss any of those things I never had instead of kids. I don't even miss now all the extra sleep I never got.

It's amusing that during any discussion about kids it's inevitable a comparison to dogs is force-fed into it. Emotional bond of the dog-owner notwithstanding, responsible pet ownership is as relevant a comparison to raising a human family of kids as tossing a balsa wood, rubber-band powered model plane on a sunny day in the back yard is to flying a 747 full of passengers around the world night and day through every sort of weather and conditions. The differences are so great comparisons to keeping a turtle or goldfish would be just as valid.

[MonBK]

I'm glad my parents decided to have kids!

[Widows Son]

Well said CRM114!!!!

[superdog]

Lots of good points made in this thread. Another great well spoken TRF debate and I hope it helps the OP.

The truth is though, that all of these points are simply opinions. Those with kids want to justify their life and their decisions, and those without will do the same.

I use this analogy a lot these days:

You can have 10 people look at a painting and you will get 10 different opinions as to its meaning. However, the only one that truly knows is the artist.

This, everything here, is highly personal and depends on the individual.

Lots of parents out there that wish they never had kids. Lots of non-parents that wish they could.

Lots of parents out there that think their kids are their meaning for life. Lots of parents out there that are super glad they never had them.

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by superdog

Lots of good points made in this thread. Another great well spoken TRF debate and I hope it helps the OP.

The truth is though, that all of these points are simply opinions. Those with kids want to justify their life and their decisions, and those without will do the same.

I use this analogy a lot these days:

You can have 10 people look at a painting and you will get 10 different opinions as to its meaning. However, the only one that truly knows is the artist.

This, everything here, is highly personal and depends on the individual.

Lots of parents out there that wish they never had kids. Lots of non-parents that wish they could.

Lots of parents out there that think their kids are their meaning for life. Lots of parents out there that are super glad they never had them.

Care to explain that last sentence?

[superdog]

Originally Posted by MonBK

Care to explain that last sentence?

Lmao. Whoops. That was before coffee. You get my point tho.

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by superdog

Lmao. Whoops. That was before coffee. You get my point tho.

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by MonBK

I'm glad my parents decided to have kids!

Did you get my point? ^

[superdog]

Originally Posted by MonBK

Did you get my point? ^

Ha. Yes, I most certainly did.

I thank my parents all the time. Part of me wished I could give them a grandkid. They would love that.

But alas, it is not meant to be.

[Fabrice M]

First, sorry for your loss.
I am 51 years old and I have a 4 years old. It's never too late and it's the best thing I have ever done. And yes, it will keep you alive longer because you will want to spend as much time with him or her as possible... You'll end up ordering the salad instead of the French fries : )

[Superburrito]

My condolences.

No kids and no regrets. I love freedom. I can quit my job and live wherever I want. Go out any night of the week. Retire early. No stress!

I know from all of my friends and coworkers over the last 25 years that living in a major metro area, trying to earn big bucks with both spouses working full time, long commutes etc. is a very, very challenging existence.

[greggsiam]

nope, never

but, it's hard to regret something you have never experienced first hand.

although, all the bratty kids and worthless parents that never discipline their kids kind of reinforces my bias to never have kids.