Dating Advice: How do you guys get over someone that was “special”

[s14roller]

First, since she was the one to cut it off, you need to block her off mentally and work on things that make you more interesting to the opposite sex. Presentation is a good thing, grooming, how you dress, make sure you exercise and eat clean. It sounds like you have been playing it correctly so far, and try not to give into impulse of reaching out to her. Only way to win this is to let it go and if she realizes she missed out, she will come back. If not, you have worked on a better you and have moved on. Tough spot, we've all been there. Good luck and make sure you occupy your time (gym, hobbies, friends). Take a step back and think about what makes you an interesting person (confidence, wit, etc.) and work on getting those attributes to display well. Keep up the dating...it willl help with your mindset and well, people often want what other people want...

[THC]

Originally Posted by Etschell

this sounds cold but cut her off. block her number and move on.

now how to move on? meet another person you like more. don't continue relationships just because you don't want to be lonely.

i deal with divorce daily paul. there is always happiness later on. how much and when is up to you and only you.

tough love advice for sure, but this is spot on and well said Eliot.
She might even respond favorably back to you, a month or two later, if she hears you are dating.

[Fleetlord]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

at 30 i stopped dating people i knew would not be the end game partner. Within about 1 or 2 dates i could pinpoint why we would break up eventually. After that, continuing on would just be a waste of everyones time.

if that person was not an "end game" person to begin with then im confused as to why you would let it progress that far. I would avoid that going forward as the dating pool gets smaller and smaller with age so placeholder relationships are not the best option, especially when you get emotionally invested

Absolutely true. Don't get in the boat if you're not ready to go all the way.

If you can't follow that rule, you have to keep things in the shallow end.

Were the good times worth the shit time you are in now?

Tough stuff for sure.

[Fleetlord]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

So... I dated this nice young woman for 11 months, it ended about a year ago. It was fantastic; suffice it to say I was very happy. She is quite a bit younger then me so we both knew we were not each other’s “end games” but nonetheless, we got along great and it was a very enjoyable relationship. The inevitable happened, I got dumped. It ended very abruptly with her saying: “Let’s just be friends.” Now, I have been dumped many many.. many many times in my life, so I knew how to handle this, play it cool, don’t chase, but I really was broken hearted. Ask Larry, BnLion, when I pleaded to let me come over to his house and cry on his shoulder he was kind enough to listen.

She and I have spoken on the phone several times, met for lunch a couple occasions, but what I was hoping for, the: “Take me back” statement never came. I have since dated a couple pleasant ladies, currently seeing a very nice one that is actually the same age as my ex, but there is not the ... “feeling”... I had with her. I know, it never could have ended much of any other way, shouldn’t have gotten myself emotionally involved to the point I did, but it was so much fun, such a great time.

Here we are, coming up on one year since I got dumped, she called me on my birthday a couple months ago and there were vague references about getting together... blah blah blah. When I am alone, contemplating the world, (like I am tonight) I find my thoughts drifting towards her. It couldn’t ever work out, I SHOULDN’T want it to, still.... those thoughts drift where they do.

So tell me TRF, how do you guys get over one that was so much fun, it’s hard to stop thinking about?

Must watch stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EapZW8JYW6Q

[AK797]

Time is really the only way for your feelings to die, I had this in a previous life with an actress I was working with and she got to me, and I couldn't think of much else for many months, possibly years, but out of sight and gradually out of mind. I'm just glad the project we worked on together didn't really take off and nor did she so I don't have to see her face everywhere now.

[Dubshack]

The Best Way To Get Over a Breakup, According to Science - TIMEhttps://apple.news/AUheTNICNQH-OwlBtgE8CfQ


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Johny]

Is Anna ok?

[daveathall]

Dating Advice: How do you guys get over someone that was “special”

I console myself knowing that I was more special.

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by powerfunk

Nagging uncertainty is the worst, far worse than the dumping part. Seems like you need to know, conclusively, if this woman is an option before moving on. Find out, go for it. Unambiguous rejection may actually be a relief in my experience.

Based on my careful study of American culture and the women who live in it, "Let's just be friends" is as unambiguous as it gets. Unless Paul wants to hear things like "judicial summons" and "order of protection"

Paul, stop interacting with this woman. She is enjoying the attention of the calls and lunches, and meanwhile it's making you miserable. If she had better character, she'd have done you a favor and cut off communication herself

[TheVTCGuy]

Wow, thanks for all the kind words guys, it is much appreciated. Last night was one of those up at 2AM alone, listening to music and the date of me getting dumped approaching, made me sad But, I do think about her, all that I stated was true.

I should have been more clear on our last conversation. She called me on my birthday a couple months ago, “how you doing?” “What’s new?” Blah Blah. Actually she suggested we get together at our old hangout for a coffee and chat the next day. We texted a couple tiimes in the morning and she said she wasn’t feeling well, would have to reschedule. I replied I hope she felt better, I would be in town all week and give me a call when she was better we would get together. That was close to three months ago and I haven’t received any communication; poor thing must be on her deathbed....

I have not contacted her again and don’t intend to, even though I do think about her. My female friends say she is waiting for me to call her and give it another shot. Most of my male friends say don’t even Consider it, you invited her to call you when she was free, she hasn’t, contacting her now would be akin to signing over my manhood. I kind of agree so do not plan on reaching out, ever.

But I do think about her a lot.... the memories, feelings...

Anyway, thank you again for all the kind words

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by Jocke

Ok, I'll take you back. :chee rs:

Oh THANK YOU JOCKE!

Does this mean I can move in to my room now?

[bayerische]

I once had a "fun" one, didn't work out. Now I have the perfect wife, a child and two dogs. We're one happy family.

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I have not contacted her again and don’t intend to, even though I do think about her. My female friends say she is waiting for me to call her and give it another shot. Most of my male friends say don’t even Consider it, you invited her to call you when she was free, she hasn’t, contacting her now would be akin to signing over my manhood. I kind of agree so do not plan on reaching out, ever.
:

Taking dating advice from women is like taking dieting advice from Cookie Monster, or sobriety advice from a drug dealer

[SearChart]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

Taking dating advice from women is like taking dieting advice from Cookie Monster, or sobriety advice from a drug dealer

[minute_man]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

We texted a couple tiimes in the morning and she said she wasn’t feeling well, would have to reschedule.

I have not contacted her again and don’t intend to, even though I do think about her.

Seems like you did get your answer after all.
Like I said, some people just can't or won't answer straight or definitively. They might be insecure and like to have a backup plan while working on something else. Whatever the reason it's her problem and not yours. You should not try do the thinking on her behalf (over)nalyzing everything or you would be drawing some very wrong conclusions.
Sever all ties and move on. Look after yourself and, as hard as it might be,try and don't carry old baggage into a new relationship.

[ttomczak]

Simple answer, extremely hard to do, as others have said, break off all ties, until you mentally move on, you will be good with no one. Use the time for yourself, it won’t be easy, but will become easier...

Rule 1. don’t, ever go back... if it was meant to be, it would have been.
Rule 2. If they come back, don’t let them, if it didn’t work the first time, what’s changed, typically nothing and what was or wasn’t there before will occur again...

Be strong (it sucks and easy for anyone other than you to say) but it will pay off.

Unfortunately speaking from much experience.

[bdex75]

1. Get a new air pump for Anna.
2. Get a new girlfriend that is into really kinky sex stuff.
3. Forget about old girlfriend.

Unless you are looking for marriage material. Then meet a fine lady at the grocery store or Costco or crashing weddings.

You are a pilot, you got this Paul!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[tudorbaja27]

I drink.
Then go out and find another woman to make me forget about the previous one.
It's all a mental game

[TheRolexKingofLV]

Im a single guy that enjoys a Playboy lifestyle, so I'm no help Paul.

Hope ya get over this hurdle buddy!

[Jocke]

Paul, get a air compressor and you are safe.

[Duey]

Paul you live here in California with some of the best legal weed in the country for getting over her.

[Jocke]

Originally Posted by Duey

Paul you live here in California with some of the best legal weed in the country for getting over her.

That guy is more sober than the pope.

[austinp]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

Taking dating advice from women is like taking dieting advice from Cookie Monster, or sobriety advice from a drug dealer

Nailed it!

[mmmmp]

Sir, I don't want to sound cold but: do you think your situation is unique? Geez, it happens to everybody at least once. After a year you're still pining away hoping for reconciliation? She dumped you remember? I'd be upset too but also a touch angry. How can you have lunch or whatever with a woman that said, essentially: I don't want you, I don't need you and I don't want you in my life.

Please, for your own good: break contact with her, get rid of her contact info and move (the hell) on. She's trying to keep her options open by inviting you out - typical but rather devious. You'll meet someone else. I sincerely wish you good luck.

Just my opinion,
Mark

Sent from my SM-A520W using Tapatalk

[Chewbacca]

Lose the Vette.

I love those cars but it makes men become single or stay single.

And find a woman from Sweden or Canada.

That’s my watch forum relationship advice.

(I still love ya Paulie!!!)

[Chewbacca]

Oh, and booze.

Purely for forgetting and moving on.

[sensui]

Not going to share my experience with women.....but I think there are some good points here Paul. Mainly you need to get closure one way or another and move on. Easier said than done...but that's the only way. Have to draw the line.

The only thing I stress is try to keep the substance stuff to a minimal...far more productive and healthier to focus on something else (training for something) and enjoy the endorphin high to keep your mind off while you seek the point of closure. Best of luck buddy, gimme a ring if you need someone to talk to/listen.

[AK797]

When another Paul was going thru a very tough time with his own partner in crime, John Lennon, he saw his mother Mary come to him in a dream and she told him to just - let it be. And they split for good.

[N5XTC]

only way is to actively seek out another one. find a new one and move on. life is too short for regrets. best of luck. ALSO, buy another Rolex. always helps!!!!

[JasoninDenver]

Realize you deserve someone who can jump in 100% and don't settle for anything less - not even for a second. She has already proven she is not that person. Now you are actually missing the illusion of what you wanted the relationship to be and ignoring thr reality of ehat it actually was.

I remember a good friend of mine’s answer when I lamented after a nasty breakup with a woman that “I dont know if I will ever have another girlfriend like her” and my friend bluntly said “I hope the f*@k not”.