ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

padi56 · 13 February 2009, 09:55 PM

.

Supposed True Story.

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was
only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomazewski told bemused
doctors in the Severe Burn Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so i peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."At a hushed press confrence, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severly burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

(PADI"S NOTES.)
Top Nine Scariest Things About This Story
1.What kind of hospital would hold a press confrence on this?

2.People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for:Idiotic white men who insert rodents up their bum."

3.First and Second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this
make the burning itch and discomfort of hemmoroids a welcome relief?How does one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the smell of a burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the face of God's green earth.

4.People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromanical, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with charcoal lighter fluid before admitting the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at a doctor and saying: "Well Doc, it's like this. You see, we have this gerbil named Raggot and we took a cardboard tube and stuck it up my ars#.

5.People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their rectums.

6.Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of someone's anus. I'm guessing, but I seriously doubt said gerbil was springtime fresh after his journey into Kiki's "Tunnel of Love."

7.That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being shot out of a guy's ars# like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky & Bullwinkle.

8. So I peered in to the tube..." (I'm sorry, but thats like
looking through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at the sun).

9."I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum...??"

limbo · 14 February 2009, 07:38 AM

JJ Irani · 14 February 2009, 10:27 AM

Bisquitlips · 14 February 2009, 03:22 PM

I'm going to go bathe in Listerine and rubbing alcohol now........!

bballchamp · 18 February 2009, 06:56 AM

too much

Saxon007 · 18 February 2009, 11:24 AM

Now the Elvis song "Burnin' Love" is stuck in my head...

ROLEX MAN · 18 February 2009, 08:03 PM

what a good laugh!

Lion · 23 February 2009, 09:46 AM

Way too much information!!!

bodybump · 23 February 2009, 02:24 PM

you cross the line hahahahaha

Andad · 23 February 2009, 04:26 PM

What's a gerbil?

About $300 an hour to put up with that.

marshallr47 · 25 February 2009, 12:19 AM

13 February 2009, 09:55 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,061	Raggot The Gerbil Adult Only. . Supposed True Story. "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomazewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burn Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so i peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."At a hushed press confrence, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severly burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. (PADI"S NOTES.) Top Nine Scariest Things About This Story 1.What kind of hospital would hold a press confrence on this? 2.People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for:Idiotic white men who insert rodents up their bum." 3.First and Second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make the burning itch and discomfort of hemmoroids a welcome relief?How does one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the smell of a burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the face of God's green earth. 4.People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromanical, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with charcoal lighter fluid before admitting the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at a doctor and saying: "Well Doc, it's like this. You see, we have this gerbil named Raggot and we took a cardboard tube and stuck it up my ars#. 5.People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their rectums. 6.Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of someone's anus. I'm guessing, but I seriously doubt said gerbil was springtime fresh after his journey into Kiki's "Tunnel of Love." 7.That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being shot out of a guy's ars# like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky & Bullwinkle. 8. So I peered in to the tube..." (I'm sorry, but thats like looking through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at the sun). 9."I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum...??" __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

14 February 2009, 10:27 AM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

14 February 2009, 03:22 PM	#4
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	I'm going to go bathe in Listerine and rubbing alcohol now........! __________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

18 February 2009, 08:03 PM	#7
ROLEX MAN 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Martin Location: Home and Away Watch: you? "YES PLEASE"! Posts: 3,718	what a good laugh! __________________ *it's not just about telling the time...* *happy rolexing...* I'm just a man with a passion

23 February 2009, 09:46 AM	#8
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Way too much information!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

14 February 2009, 07:38 AM	#2
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

18 February 2009, 06:56 AM	#5
bballchamp Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Cape Canaveral Posts: 59	too much

18 February 2009, 11:24 AM	#6
Saxon007 "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Texas Posts: 2,002	Now the Elvis song "Burnin' Love" is stuck in my head...

23 February 2009, 02:24 PM	#9
bodybump ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 2024 SubLV41 Sponsor & Boutique Seller Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Oscar Location: Florida Watch: Me!!! Posts: 23,233	you cross the line hahahahaha __________________

23 February 2009, 04:26 PM	#10
Andad 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Eddie Location: Australia Watch: A few. Posts: 37,526	What's a gerbil? About $300 an hour to put up with that. __________________ E

25 February 2009, 12:19 AM	#11
marshallr47 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Real Name: Ron Location: Alabama Watch: Daytona,TT Sub,GMT Posts: 4,673	__________________ Ron

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)