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Old 11 October 2021, 09:18 AM   #1
nyctoytimer
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Purina Dog Food

A friend of mine has a big Labrador retriever. While I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart for him, a woman behind me in the check out line asked if it was for a dog (duh?).

On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. The way that it works is you load all your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the hospital last time because I'd been poisoned.

I told her no; I was sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.
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Old 11 October 2021, 11:45 AM   #2
MrGoat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nyctoytimer View Post
A friend of mine has a big Labrador retriever. While I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart for him, a woman behind me in the check out line asked if it was for a dog (duh?).

On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. The way that it works is you load all your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the hospital last time because I'd been poisoned.

I told her no; I was sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.

Bahahahahaha. I did not see that coming.


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Old 11 October 2021, 08:21 PM   #3
swatty
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Old 11 October 2021, 09:18 PM   #4
1William
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Funny.
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Old 12 October 2021, 11:44 AM   #5
Cazador60
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Excellente !
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Old 22 October 2021, 11:55 AM   #6
Rafeeq
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Good one!
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Old 24 October 2021, 01:51 AM   #7
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Hilarious!
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