Tech Support

[SLRdude]

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white..

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....


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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

[Otis]

Good one Chip!

Now, the sad thing is.... are most of them true?

[Launch Mini]

I can believe each one of those as I think they might be some of my clients

[mailman]

[mike]

[Rto]

[C.J.]

[Rockrolex]

And one more.

Tech Support: This is Jim. How may I help you?

Customer: My computer won't work.

TS: Can you turn it on?

C: I keep pushing the button but nothing happens.

TS: Is the computer plugged in?

C: I don't know. How can I tell?

TS: There's a wire in the back of the computer that runs to a socket in the wall. Make sure the wire is plugged into the socket.

C: I can't see the wire. It's too dark.

TS: Turn on a light.

C: I can't. All the power is out in the neighborhood.

TS: Here's what to do then. Get a big box. Put the computer in the box. Take the computer in the box back to the place where you bought and ask for your money back.

C: Why should I do that.

TS: BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO F#%KING STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER.

[JJ Irani]

to this whole funny thread!!

[The Dude]

unny!

Originally Posted by Launch Mini

I can believe each one of those as I think they might be some of my clients

Don't you mean colleagues?

[Scarface]

[TDH]

[Incurable]

Sad but true...

[jasonbellevue]

[limbo]

[Tools]

[Ashley]

Sadly, I'm sure that all of those have been said at least once to tech support somewhere!

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Tags_girl_

Sadly, I'm sure that all of those have been said at least once to tech support somewhere!

And even more sadly, I've been one of the users who has said it!

[2careless]

Once we had a sales guy from one of the business units came into our helpdesk to get his laptop fixed. He sat at our helpdesk area, pulled out his mobile phone and start yepping continuously for 20 minutes about how IT sux etc etc, intermixed with various obscenities. Next his phone battery went dead and he pulled his charger and plugged it into the mains. Within 1 second, he pulled the charger out, shocked and half the department machines dropped dead. Apparently he went to US and just got off the plane. Aus has 240v and US 110v... We billed his cost centre like $12k for our inconvenience.

[oldbreadstinks]

Originally Posted by Otis

Good one Chip!

Now, the sad thing is.... are most of them true?

probably... i caught one of my friends trying to push a cd into a floppy disk drive

[hungheavy]

good