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away36 · 6 August 2009, 05:18 AM

Cleaning out some cupboards and drawers this week, and came across this. I enjoyed it just as much as I did when I first read it several years ago. Some pretty valid advice, I think.......

DIFFERENT DRUMS AND DIFFERENT DRUMMERS

If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me that my want is wrong.

Or, If I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my view.

Or if my emotion is less than yours, or more, given the same circumstances, try not to ask me to feel more strongly or weakly.

Or yet if I act, or fail to act, in the manner of your design for action, let me be.

I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of you.

I may be your spouse, your parent, your offspring, your friend, or your colleague. If you will allow me any of my own wants, or emotions, or beliefs, or actions, then you open yourself, so that some day these ways of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear to you as right----for me. To put up with me is the first step to understanding me. Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness. And in understanding me you might come to prize my differences from you, and, far from seeking to change me, preserve and even nurture those differences.

Author Unknown

AWATCH · 6 August 2009, 05:24 AM

Thank you for sharing that...

abigsecret · 6 August 2009, 07:21 AM

That's great Nancy! Thanks for taking the time to post it!

Lisa · 6 August 2009, 07:35 AM

Good advice for raising kids, Nancy. But I'm afraid I goofed up with my husband... did I ever tell you about the Godiva chocolate incident?

Taffi Abernathy · 6 August 2009, 08:39 AM

That was a wonderful post, Nancy, and a great reminder for us to work on increasing our tolerance of individual differences.

sexner · 6 August 2009, 08:48 AM

Here, here, Nancy.

I believe I will be sending that to our daughter and her boyfriend.

away36 · 6 August 2009, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Good advice for raising kids, Nancy. But I'm afraid I goofed up with my husband... did I ever tell you about the Godiva chocolate incident?

Oh yes....reading THAT story became something of a historical moment in my life.

Jimbits76 · 7 August 2009, 12:19 AM

That's an interesting posts Nancy and as I think it is interesting, it obviously is!

J

6 August 2009, 05:18 AM	#1
away36 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Nancy Location: Canada Watch: Vintage Rolex Posts: 3,178	Respecting Differences Cleaning out some cupboards and drawers this week, and came across this. I enjoyed it just as much as I did when I first read it several years ago. Some pretty valid advice, I think....... DIFFERENT DRUMS AND DIFFERENT DRUMMERS If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me that my want is wrong. Or, If I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my view. Or if my emotion is less than yours, or more, given the same circumstances, try not to ask me to feel more strongly or weakly. Or yet if I act, or fail to act, in the manner of your design for action, let me be. I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of you. I may be your spouse, your parent, your offspring, your friend, or your colleague. If you will allow me any of my own wants, or emotions, or beliefs, or actions, then you open yourself, so that some day these ways of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear to you as right----for me. To put up with me is the first step to understanding me. Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness. And in understanding me you might come to prize my differences from you, and, far from seeking to change me, preserve and even nurture those differences. Author Unknown

6 August 2009, 07:21 AM	#3
abigsecret "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Real Name: Mireyna Location: s o t r Watch: your back! Posts: 2,282	That's great Nancy! Thanks for taking the time to post it! __________________ #6267 He who knows no foreign language does not know his own.-Goethe

6 August 2009, 08:39 AM	#5
Taffi Abernathy "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Faith Location: Philadelphia, PA Watch: TT DJ, SS DJ Posts: 4,053	That was a wonderful post, Nancy, and a great reminder for us to work on increasing our tolerance of individual differences. __________________ Sarcasm is my second language.

6 August 2009, 08:48 AM	#6
sexner "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: 4Q Location: Nowhere near you Watch: 169622, 124060 Posts: 2,014	Here, here, Nancy. I believe I will be sending that to our daughter and her boyfriend. __________________ One should endeavor to do what is right not what is established.

6 August 2009, 05:24 AM	#2
AWATCH "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: al Location: GEORGIA Watch: Explorer II Posts: 1,759	Thank you for sharing that...

6 August 2009, 07:35 AM	#4
Lisa "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: oklahoma city Posts: 15,741	Good advice for raising kids, Nancy. But I'm afraid I goofed up with my husband... did I ever tell you about the Godiva chocolate incident?

7 August 2009, 12:19 AM	#8
Jimbits76 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: UK Posts: 9,407	That's an interesting posts Nancy and as I think it is interesting, it obviously is! J

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