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Old 10 February 2010, 11:23 AM   #1
Taffi Abernathy
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What Behavior Makes It Difficult For You To Apply Brakes?

In many ways we may be highly disciplined, yet in others, we find it difficult and are continually challenged to draw healthy boundaries. What behavior(s) make it difficult for you to apply your brakes, e.g., Working, eating, collecting ______ (fill in the blank), drinking, spending, internet addiction, etc. (Any activity which you find reinforcing has the potential to become compulsive. This is particularly true when you are under stress.)

I admit that it is easy for me to get lost in various activities, particularly those work-related. I was a pretty compulsive student and retained some of that compulsivity in my work. Sometimes the energy I put into my field of endeavor overrides other facets of my life. And you?
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:32 AM   #2
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I think I'm a bit of a work-aholic. The more I stress, the more I work to be financially stable. Even if the issue has nothing to do with money.

The more I work the more worn down I get, and it usually takes getting a cold, or sleeping an entire weekend after 2 months of pushing myself.

My family was kinda middle income, and I had to work for my extra things. I saw that the harder I worked the better things were. I tend to drive myself empty just to continue ensuring a good life for my family. I feel like if I don't earn extra, I'm getting behind.

My little issue....
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:36 AM   #3
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I think I'm a bit of a work-aholic. The more I stress, the more I work to be financially stable. Even if the issue has nothing to do with money.

The more I work the more worn down I get, and it usually takes getting a cold, or sleeping an entire weekend after 2 months of pushing myself.

My family was kinda middle income, and I had to work for my extra things. I saw that the harder I worked the better things were. I tend to drive myself empty just to continue ensuring a good life for my family. I feel like if I don't earn extra, I'm getting behind.

My little issue....
I appreciate your openness. Thank you.
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:36 AM   #4
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Hello Faith,


My brakes failed on my van a few months ago and the ceramic GMT bezels cracked then shattered into dozen of pieces creating a major problem. Damn GMT bezels.
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:42 AM   #5
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No problems here, I have anti-lock brakes.
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:47 AM   #6
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Faith, what is the most important asset an individual can have?
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:48 AM   #7
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I am obsessed with working out. I cant miss a workout and if I do I make it up the next day or over the weekend. I eat, sleep, and think about lifting weights and I plan things around the gym. I LOVE IT. I only workout for an hour at a time so it does not interfere with work or home life but that hour is Mine four to five days a week.
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:49 AM   #8
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Faith, what is the most important asset an individual can have?
That is highly subjective and open to individual interpretation. What do you think?


I'll tell you what I personally value. Honesty is at the top of my list. I don't look at the mistakes someone makes, but rather how those mistakes are rectified. I don't even necessarily care about most flaws, that's what gives a person his or her distinct character.
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:53 AM   #9
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That is highly subjective and open to individual interpretation. What do you think?
Can you say that ten times fast without making a mistake Faith?

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Old 10 February 2010, 11:54 AM   #10
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That is highly subjective and open to individual interpretation. What do you think?
self control.
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Old 10 February 2010, 11:57 AM   #11
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self control.
I see what you mean. Self-control is all about applying one's brakes at the right time. People get into trouble when their boundaries are too loose and conversely, when their boundaries are too rigid.
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Old 10 February 2010, 12:02 PM   #12
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Can we hi-jack this thread now, please?
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Old 10 February 2010, 12:04 PM   #13
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Can we hi-jack this thread now, please?
What took you so long?
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Old 10 February 2010, 12:16 PM   #14
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What took you so long?
It is snowing here, and I am as excited as a kid on x-mas eve!
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Old 10 February 2010, 12:19 PM   #15
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I find it difficult to apply my brakes when there is a Rolex for sale and I have the funds in the bank for it!
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Old 10 February 2010, 12:24 PM   #16
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It is snowing here, and I am as excited as a kid on x-mas eve!
Rick where do you live?
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Old 10 February 2010, 12:33 PM   #17
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My biggest rpoblem relates to my work. Coincidently, at work when I have a bit of downtime I am on technology websites, looking for the newest and hottest. I am in IT, so just seeing the newest and hottest tech gets me going. After I see something, I am on a war path to buy it. I just bought a $1900 11.6'' Notebook and not to mention, it was a preorder, I won't even get the thing until Mid-April!!
I think this is my biggest problem. I buy jewelry and electronics, so I guess it's just a spending habit, now that I think of it........it really is a spending habit!
................HELP............!!!!!!
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Old 10 February 2010, 12:41 PM   #18
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I devote myself to my research so much that I tend to overlook essentials like food and sleep. It just seems like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try, so I tend to work long hours in the lab reading and looking over stuff. I pack a sandwich and that's all I usually have in the day, as I get back home so late and tired to cook dinner.

This is the way I was in college as well and the way I felt when going through my most difficult courses. I thought I'd be different in grad school, but I guess not.

I just can't seem to eat, even if I'm hungry; I feel like I'm wasting time I could use reading or doing something else. I know it's the opposite, food's energy for your body and all of that I get, I just can't do it. Sleep is bad too. I'm used to run on 5 hrs of sleep tops.
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Old 10 February 2010, 01:18 PM   #19
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No problems here, I have anti-lock brakes.
My question to you Leo,are they liquid ABS like mine?
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Old 10 February 2010, 02:17 PM   #20
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Working towards closing a sale. I am partially commission based, so when a deal a close to closing, I have no brakes !!!
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Old 10 February 2010, 02:23 PM   #21
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Wett Tennies of course.
I just hate the way they feel when they meet the pedal.
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Old 11 February 2010, 03:13 AM   #22
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Eating is my biggest weakness. I'm one of those people who likes to eating just for the sake of eating, so I always have watch that.
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Old 11 February 2010, 05:20 AM   #23
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From birth I was raised surrounded by "holics"

Their behaviour was a constant and permanent vexation to my spirit, I was and am so determined to not emulate that pathetic way of life that I refuse to allow myself to be even mildly obsessed with anything.

I distance myself from anyone that displays these traits in any form whatsoever, anything, you name it.
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Old 11 February 2010, 05:24 AM   #24
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From birth I was raised surrounded by "holics"

Their behaviour was a constant and permanent vexation to my spirit, I was and am so determined to not emulate that pathetic way of life that I refuse to allow myself to be even mildly obsessed with anything.

I distance myself from anyone that displays these traits in any form whatsoever, anything, you name it.
I understand your position since this type of adddictive/compulsive dynamic is accompanied by chaos, instability, unpredictability, all of which erode the spirit. Thanks very much for responding.
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Old 11 February 2010, 05:30 AM   #25
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Faith, this snow must drive you up the walls since you cannot get out.
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Old 11 February 2010, 05:36 AM   #26
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Having realistic expectations. My father is an ultra successful individual. I constantly compare myself to him. I have to make more, own more, do more than he does. My mom left him because even though he was very successful, he drank too much or was never around. As much as I want a happy medium, even my girlfriend complains that I am somewhat too ambitious. My dad is 60, has a 30 something year old wife with 2 children that he has taken in as his own, really doesnt want much to do with me, yet everyday I want to be like him/ measure my success to his. It perplexes me everyday.
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Old 11 February 2010, 07:27 AM   #27
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Having realistic expectations. My father is an ultra successful individual. I constantly compare myself to him. I have to make more, own more, do more than he does. My mom left him because even though he was very successful, he drank too much or was never around. As much as I want a happy medium, even my girlfriend complains that I am somewhat too ambitious. My dad is 60, has a 30 something year old wife with 2 children that he has taken in as his own, really doesnt want much to do with me, yet everyday I want to be like him/ measure my success to his. It perplexes me everyday.
All of us will go to the grave with our strengths and scars, the aftermath of our upbringings along with our personal accomplishments and failures. It sounds like your striving for success is (at least in part) a striving for dad's love and approval albeit sublimated and transmuted. This is also quite understandable since a part of us always wants our parents' love and approval, regardless of our age. Ambition can be very positive; it allows you to make a unique place for yourself in the world which helps define who you are as a person. Also, listen to loved ones around you . . . if various people are saying you are working too hard or are too ambitious, they're probably right. You've learned some successful behaviors from your father, cultivate them while simultaneously listening to your own internal voice and those of your loved ones who inform you when you may be going overboard. Best wishes, Faith.
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Old 11 February 2010, 07:35 AM   #28
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Permit me to expound upon my initial response . . . I think it is most difficult for me to "put the brakes on" my SARCASM. My mother and father are both sarcastic (like you're surprised?). As I've mentioned before, when people ask my mother how many children she has, her response has always been "I have one daughter and then there's Faith." It's simply in my DNA.
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Old 11 February 2010, 07:52 AM   #29
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Sorry if it has been posted before.
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Old 11 February 2010, 07:56 AM   #30
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Sorry if it has been posted before.
What a wonderful post which has not gone unappreciated!
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