15 useful computer's protips

[FeelingTheBlues]

Greetings TRF,

While lurking on a website showing funny quotes from online conversations I came across this and I thought I could share it. It's not by me, I'm just translating what that man from France found at his job (it's actually a little sign the informatics department posted all around his office). Here are 15 protips from the team:

1- When you call us to move your computer, remember to always cover it with half a ton of postal cards, baby pictures, animal decorations, dried flowers, darts' trophies and children's drawings. We have no personal lives and we appreciate to see yours being exposed this way.

2- When somebody from the team tells you he's coming right away, go make yourself a coffee. Therefore you will not be there when we will need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 300 passwords...

3- When you have a problem with your home computer, leave it on one of our chairs in the department and make sure you don't leave a note saying your name, your phone number or a description of the problem. We love to guess.

4- When somebody from the department tells you he's coming soon, act like you're hurt and tell us: "How many weeks is soon"? It helps us to stay motivate.

5- If the printer doesn't print, try again for 20 times. Documents sent to printers are often getting lost in black holes.

6- If the printer still doesn't work after the said 20 times, send the document to the other 68 printers in the office. One of them should work.

7- Never learn the correct name of any technical features on your computer. We know exactly what you mean by "my little thingy" or "my computer crashed".

8- Never use the online assistance to resolve your simplest problems. Online assistance is for losers.

9- If your mouse's cable always make your dog's photo fall, lift your computer and squeeze the cable under. These wires have been made to resist to at least 20 pounds.

10- If your space bar doesn't work, accuse the messenger's client's update. These keyboards are actually very happy with a ton of cookies' crumbs inside of them.

11- Never hesitate to tell us things like: "I don't understand anything in that stupid computer stuff". We don't mind to know our domain is stupid at all.

12- If you need to change the ink toner in a printer, call us. Changing those is an extremely complicated job and the people who put these printers up suggest to let professional engineers with a master in nuclear physics do it.

13- If your computer doesn't turn on, come and complain to us before making sure it's correctly plugged in.

14- When you receive a 30Mb movie, send it to everybody in the office with an e-mail. We have a lot of space on this server.

15- When you meet somebody from our department on Saturday at the supermarket, ask him something about computers. We also work on weekends and during holidays.

[mitchy]

[MonBK]

:)

[TSW]

;)

[SWIMPRUF]