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Porsche · 20 June 2012, 10:14 AM

IM COMIC SANS, ASSHOLE

Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You dont like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-laws blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We dont all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry Im standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, Im shredding Reign In Blood on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jackoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

theloxmyth · 20 June 2012, 10:22 AM

FeelingTheBlues · 21 June 2012, 02:15 AM

Boy do I love Comic Sans MS...

Timber Loftis · 21 June 2012, 02:37 AM

Poor comic sans, ever the whipping boy.

77T · 24 June 2012, 02:59 AM

comic sans need some lithium

1675-David · 24 June 2012, 03:17 AM

Prince Oysterdate · 25 June 2012, 04:05 PM

http://xkcd.com/590/

Of course you should read the text in the mouse-over as well.

mfer · 26 June 2012, 11:12 AM

DOES NOT COMPUTE!

We so have the Comic Sans font lady at our work!

GradyPhilpott · 26 June 2012, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 77T

comic sans need some lithium

20 June 2012, 10:14 AM	#1
Porsche 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Real Name: John Location: ɹǝpun Watch: and learn Posts: 2,986	LANGUAGE WARNING We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-a$$ Helvetica IM COMIC SANS, ASSHOLE Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg. You dont like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-laws blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We dont all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry Im standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once. People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring. When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, Im shredding Reign In Blood on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you. It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jackoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery. Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus. __________________ Obey Gravity, it's the Law! ROLEX --- SEIKO --- HEUER TRF REHAUT T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M

20 June 2012, 10:22 AM	#2
theloxmyth 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: NY Posts: 6,382	__________________ Craig, The (I'm JUST a) Loxmyth. If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. — Albert Einstein (1879-1955) TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION IS ENABLED.

21 June 2012, 02:15 AM	#3
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	Boy do I love Comic Sans MS... __________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

24 June 2012, 02:59 AM	#5
77T 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 42,016	comic sans need some lithium __________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

26 June 2012, 11:12 AM	#8
mfer "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Real Name: Mik Location: USA Posts: 13,724	DOES NOT COMPUTE! We so have the Comic Sans font lady at our work! __________________ member#3242

21 June 2012, 02:37 AM	#4
Timber Loftis "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Real Name: Jon Location: Chicago Watch: IIc,DJII,P244,A1-Z Posts: 2,857	Poor comic sans, ever the whipping boy.

24 June 2012, 03:17 AM	#6
1675-David "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Stockholm Posts: 6,061

25 June 2012, 04:05 PM	#7
Prince Oysterdate Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Atlanta Posts: 19	http://xkcd.com/590/ Of course you should read the text in the mouse-over as well.

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