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padi56 · 24 June 2013, 03:09 AM

An blond Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress," she says

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

"No" she replies. "It's mayonnaise this time."

========================

Blond Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says, "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says, "I'll take the red one."

The man replies, "That's a fire extinguisher."

========================

An blond Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.

The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK, I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions."

Girl: "OK."

Medic: "What's your name?"

Girl: "Sharon."

Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"

Sharon: "Yes."

Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"

Sharon: "Rumford, mate."

=========================

An blond Essex girl was driving down the A when her car phone rang.

It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car!" wails the blond Essex girl, "There's hundreds of 'em!"

=========================

Another blond Essex girl is involved in a serious crash. There's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the ground.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."

Girl: "OK."

Medic: "OK the how many fingers am I putting up?"

Girl: "Oh my God, I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

Sperry · 24 June 2013, 10:17 AM

The man replies, "That's a fire extinguisher."

Ha!

cop414 · 24 June 2013, 08:48 PM

wantonebad · 25 June 2013, 01:37 AM

Apparently blond women from Essex can't drive...

FeelingTheBlues · 26 June 2013, 06:52 AM

Hairdude1 · 26 June 2013, 12:11 PM

Very funny

77T · 30 June 2013, 06:45 AM

Bangel · 30 June 2013, 04:29 PM

TheVTCGuy · 30 June 2013, 05:20 PM

I'm moving to this place called Essex!

h999r · 9 August 2013, 03:42 PM

Lol

Puffy · 9 August 2013, 11:18 PM

Romford is a great night out !

mtrunner · 10 August 2013, 04:23 AM

vitalsignsrn · 13 August 2013, 10:51 AM

Im not blonde..I can laugh at these jokes..;-)

cecilia · 13 August 2013, 07:03 PM

:))

Grumpy Badger · 13 August 2013, 07:40 PM

Why does an Essex girl wear panties?
To keep her ankles warm!!

How does an Essex girl turn on the light after making love?
Opens the car door!

I used to live there for a while... It's all true!

andyboy39 · 13 August 2013, 08:07 PM

TSW · 14 August 2013, 06:10 AM

asadtiger · 3 September 2013, 08:25 PM

ltmgeller · 4 September 2013, 01:26 PM

SWISSAHOLICS · 4 September 2013, 02:13 PM

psv · 4 September 2013, 02:30 PM

AWA · 5 September 2013, 06:41 PM

Audemars Piguet · 9 September 2013, 05:59 AM

Bisquitlips · 10 September 2013, 08:37 AM

unclesallie · 10 September 2013, 09:56 AM

inappropriate.

24 June 2013, 03:09 AM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,060	Essex Girls An blond Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress," she says "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "It's mayonnaise this time." ======================== Blond Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says, "Choose from our range on the wall." She says, "I'll take the red one." The man replies, "That's a fire extinguisher." ======================== An blond Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site. Medic: "It's OK, I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions." Girl: "OK." Medic: "What's your name?" Girl: "Sharon." Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?" Sharon: "Yes." Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?" Sharon: "Rumford, mate." ========================= An blond Essex girl was driving down the A when her car phone rang. It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car!" wails the blond Essex girl, "There's hundreds of 'em!" ========================= Another blond Essex girl is involved in a serious crash. There's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the ground. Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed." Girl: "OK." Medic: "OK the how many fingers am I putting up?" Girl: "Oh my God, I'm paralysed from the waist down!" __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

24 June 2013, 08:48 PM	#3
cop414 TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Tim Location: Pennsylvania Watch: 14060M Posts: 72,234	__________________ Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & NightClub Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED

25 June 2013, 01:37 AM	#4
wantonebad 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Watch: 126600, 116500LN Posts: 12,849	Apparently blond women from Essex can't drive... __________________ "I'm kind of a big deal... on a fairly irrelevant social media site that falsely inflates my fragile ego"

26 June 2013, 06:52 AM	#5
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	__________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

30 June 2013, 06:45 AM	#7
77T 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 42,013	__________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

24 June 2013, 10:17 AM	#2
Sperry "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Jim Location: Alpha Posts: 3,383	The man replies, "That's a fire extinguisher." Ha!

26 June 2013, 12:11 PM	#6
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	Very funny

30 June 2013, 04:29 PM	#8
Bangel "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Australia Watch: 116610LN Posts: 15,802

30 June 2013, 05:20 PM	#9
TheVTCGuy Banned Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Paul Location: San Diego Watch: 126619LB Posts: 21,540	I'm moving to this place called Essex!

9 August 2013, 03:42 PM	#10
h999r Banned Join Date: May 2011 Real Name: HR Location: Planet Earth Watch: -ing Barts. Posts: 4,244	Lol

9 August 2013, 11:18 PM	#11
Puffy "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Here and there Posts: 12,485	Romford is a great night out ! __________________ Fine Quality is Long Remembered After the Pain of Spending Money is Forgotten

10 August 2013, 04:23 AM	#12
mtrunner 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Gary Location: Bozeman, MT Watch: 126508 Paul Newman Posts: 7,835

13 August 2013, 10:51 AM	#13
vitalsignsrn "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Real Name: Judy Location: Ontario Watch: 116234 - 14060M Posts: 4,607	Im not blonde..I can laugh at these jokes..;-)

13 August 2013, 07:03 PM	#14
cecilia "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Real Name: Cecilia Location: Here Watch: Patek Philippe Posts: 1,730	:))

13 August 2013, 07:40 PM	#15
Grumpy Badger "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Real Name: Mark Location: Bonny Scotland Watch: 14060M Sub (cosc) Posts: 5,280	Why does an Essex girl wear panties? To keep her ankles warm!! How does an Essex girl turn on the light after making love? Opens the car door! I used to live there for a while... It's all true! __________________ Don't mind me. I'm full of scotch, bitterness and impure thoughts! "You have enemies? Good! That means you stood up for something, sometime in your life." Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS.

13 August 2013, 08:07 PM	#16
andyboy39 "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: New Zealand Watch: Day Date Posts: 1,409

14 August 2013, 06:10 AM	#17
TSW "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: TSW Location: Le Brassus Watch: Rolex & AP's Posts: 27,449	__________________ AP Owners Club IG @swiss.watch.connection

3 September 2013, 08:25 PM	#18
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4 September 2013, 01:26 PM	#19
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4 September 2013, 02:13 PM	#20
SWISSAHOLICS "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Here! Watch: Rolex Posts: 4,366	__________________ 16610LN \| 16613LB \| 16710 Pepsi \| 118238 \| 116500 (White) \| 116500 (Black) \| 116710BLNR \| 116610LV "The one thing I fear most is time; time waits for no one and leaves no options."

4 September 2013, 02:30 PM	#21
psv 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: USA & France Posts: 11,078

5 September 2013, 06:41 PM	#22
AWA Banned Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: it Posts: 118

9 September 2013, 05:59 AM	#23
Audemars Piguet "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Real Name: Alex Location: Europe Watch: AP Posts: 5,252

10 September 2013, 08:37 AM	#24
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	__________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

10 September 2013, 09:56 AM	#25
unclesallie 2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Real Name: dan Location: Pennsylvania Watch: keystone pocket Posts: 5,917	inappropriate.

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