Evolution of EuroEnglish

This was emailed to me by my buddy Air King Date (beauty Canuck guy, eh)

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

[mailman]

That's how France would be speaking now if it weren't for us back in WWII

[Manatee]

LOL! Gotta watch them weasely krauts. ;-)

[Launch Mini]

Originally Posted by mailman

That's how France would be speaking now if it weren't for us back in WWII

I fully assume you are talking about the Canadians overseas

Originally Posted by mailman

That's how France would be speaking now if it weren't for us back in WWII

By "us" I fully assume you mean the Commonwealth, the Pols, the Czecks, the French and a few other European countries who got the war well in hand before the USA decided to get their arse in gear and get in with the winning side, right? LOL

You do realize that 'WE' had been fighting the war from the autumn of 1939 and that the US didn't declare war on Germany until after the Pearl Habour attack. By the time troops had been deployed it was about half way into 1942.

Just a point of order there. LOL

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Atomic

By "us" I fully assume you mean the Commonwealth, the Pols, the Czecks, the French and a few other European countries who got the war well in hand before the USA decided to get their arse in gear and get in with the winning side, right? LOL

You do realize that 'WE' had been fighting the war from the autumn of 1939 and that the US didn't declare war on Germany until after the Pearl Habour attack. By the time troops had been deployed it was about half way into 1942.

Just a point of order there. LOL

Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'we' still won though

[padi56]

Originally Posted by mailman

Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'we' still won though

Correction you helped Great Britain win.

[mailman]

Originally Posted by padi56

Correction you helped Great Britain win.

What's so great about Britain anyway?

Originally Posted by mailman

What's so great about Britain anyway?

The girls are really easy... once you get past the bad teeth.

Originally Posted by Atomic

By "us" I fully assume you mean the Commonwealth, the Pols, the Czecks, the French and a few other European countries who got the war well in hand before the USA decided to get their arse in gear and get in with the winning side, right? LOL

You do realize that 'WE' had been fighting the war from the autumn of 1939 and that the US didn't declare war on Germany until after the Pearl Habour attack. By the time troops had been deployed it was about half way into 1942.

Just a point of order there. LOL

As much as I hate to admit it, the US supported the war effort in other ways before actually getting involved in the shooting. Even before the Lend-Lease Act of 1941, the US policy of not getting involved in European affairs had been reversed to a great extent allowing the sale of arms/supplies to the allies. Of course this support came with strings attached......

I believe that the deals struck at the time are one of the reasons that the US became the biggest power in the world after the war (having the atomic bomb didn't hurt either). For example, in exchange for the bail out of UK, the US became the biggest naval power in the world, unseating the position that UK had held since the late 1600's......part of the agreements struck at the time was the the UK would sink a pile of their ships after the war, leaving the US with the biggest navy in the world.........

Originally Posted by Avalon

As much as I hate to admit it, the US supported the war effort in other ways before actually getting involved in the shooting. Even before the Lend-Lease Act of 1941, the US policy of not getting involved in European affairs had been reversed to a great extent allowing the sale of arms/supplies to the allies. Of course this support came with strings attached......

I believe that the deals struck at the time are one of the reasons that the US became the biggest power in the world after the war (having the atomic bomb didn't hurt either). For example, in exchange for the bail out of UK, the US became the biggest naval power in the world, unseating the position that UK had held since the late 1600's......part of the agreements struck at the time was the the UK would sink a pile of their ships after the war, leaving the US with the biggest navy in the world.........

There's no doubt the US helped the war effort before officially getting involved, but I can only suspect it was to boost their economy rather than doing what was morally right, since the US foreign policy until WW2 was one of insulation. However, without their help, the allies would have been hard pressed to turn around Hitler's momentum.

I recently saw a doc on TV that outlined the ship building prowess of the Americans in the late 1930s and through the 40s. I think by mid-war, the US had surpassed the UK in naval strength (sheer numbers, they were cranking out Liberty ships at the rate of three or four a week).

As a side note, in 1945 Canada had the third largest navy in the world, the fourth largest army and the fourth largest air force. But being the peaceful peeps we are, after the war we put our efforts into the UN and let that military prowess slide.

[Mrdi]

Originally Posted by mailman

What's so great about Britain anyway?

They're gracious and appreciative.
Had'nt you noticed?

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Atomic

The girls are really easy... once you get past the bad teeth.

What about the hairy armpits?

Originally Posted by mailman

What about the hairy armpits?

Don't mistake English girls for Italian girls.

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Atomic

Don't mistake English girls for Italian girls.

That's just the mustache dude.

Q: Why do italian men grow a mustache?
A: They want to look like their mothers

My father didn't appreciate this joke when I told it to him as a young lad.

[C.J.]

Originally Posted by mailman

That's just the mustache dude.

Q: Why do italian men grow a mustache?
A: They want to look like their mothers

My father didn't appreciate this joke when I told it to him as a young lad.

My mother is going to crack you with the wooden gravy spoon if she see's this

[mailman]

Originally Posted by C.J.

My mother is going to crack you with the wooden gravy spoon if she see's this

I got hit with enough of them when I was growing up.

[dman]

ROTFLMAO!! That had to be hard to type, mate.

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by mailman

I got hit with enough of them when I was growing up.

Now it's you who do the hitting, uh....you friggin' hood!!!

[mailman]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

Now it's you who do the hitting, uh....you friggin' hood!!!

I always like the quote from the movie, Breaking Away. Dennis Quaids charater says to Dennis Christophers character (who is a cycling fanatic):

Italy is a strange country. Then men shave their legs and the women dont.

Originally Posted by Atomic

I always like the quote from the movie, Breaking Away. Dennis Quaids charater says to Dennis Christophers character (who is a cycling fanatic):

Italy is a strange country. Then men shave their legs and the women dont.

Love that movie!

Originally Posted by Avalon

Love that movie!

One of my all-time faves!

[Rockrolex]

Originally Posted by Atomic

By "us" I fully assume you mean the Commonwealth, the Pols, the Czecks, the French and a few other European countries who got the war well in hand before the USA decided to get their arse in gear and get in with the winning side, right? LOL

You do realize that 'WE' had been fighting the war from the autumn of 1939 and that the US didn't declare war on Germany until after the Pearl Habour attack. By the time troops had been deployed it was about half way into 1942.

Just a point of order there. LOL

Now let me undderstand this. "WE" I assume means the Commonwealth, which had been fighting WWII since 1939. The late comer US got into the fray in 1942 (6 mo. after it got really pissed off, and 3 years after you guys had been slogging it out without much success and the ever lovely French had caved) and within three years, the war was over on both fronts.

You're right, we didn't have much to do with winning the war. I don't know why we think we did.

It really was Canada that beat both the Germans and the Japanese. I can't imagine why anyone would think differently.

Originally Posted by Rockrolex

Now let me undderstand this. "WE" I assume means the Commonwealth, which had been fighting WWII since 1939. The late comer US got into the fray in 1942 (6 mo. after it got really pissed off, and 3 years after you guys had been slogging it out without much success and the ever lovely French had caved) and within three years, the war was over on both fronts.

You're right, we didn't have much to do with winning the war. I don't know why we think we did.

It really was Canada that beat both the Germans and the Japanese. I can't imagine why anyone would think differently.

Oh-oh, you can always tell when a lawyer gets up on the wrong side of the bed when he starts making massive leaps in logic and puts words in someone elses mouth.

On a serious note, it is frustrating to watch American made TV documentaries that say the US won WW2. I thought it was a joint effort with the US being one of many strong nations that rallied to fight the Nazis.

BTW, saw a doc the other night that investigated whether Hitler escaped to Argentina before the end of the way. There was evidence that he may have, but nothing concrete. Always up for a conspiracy theory though. One thing was sure, Hitler didnt want his dead body abused and put on display as had been done with Il Duces body.

[Rockrolex]

Originally Posted by Atomic

On a serious note, it is frustrating to watch American made TV documentaries that say the US won WW2. I thought it was a joint effort with the US being one of many strong nations that rallied to fight the Nazis.

I agree with you, John. It was a joint effort and the Commonwealth nations played a large role, no question about it. I doubt we could have done it alone nor could you all. It was the synergy that did it. Would that we could retain the synergism today.