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Ruud Van Driver · 11 March 2017, 02:06 PM

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks, then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him, "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck. "Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.

"The circus?" Repeats the duck.

"That's right," Replies the barman.

"The circus...?" The duck asks again. "...with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . ......."What the f… would they want with a plasterer??!"

Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week

seand442 · 11 March 2017, 02:07 PM

Andad · 11 March 2017, 02:42 PM

Oh dear!

Hairdude1 · 11 March 2017, 03:06 PM

Psmith · 11 March 2017, 03:09 PM

Bluside · 11 March 2017, 10:31 PM

That's funny.

MonBK · 11 March 2017, 10:35 PM

:)

Rebel · 11 March 2017, 11:39 PM

cop414 · 12 March 2017, 12:19 AM

Good one a Paul!

hbbfam · 12 March 2017, 02:04 AM

Excellent.

waQstar · 12 March 2017, 03:55 PM

swatty · 15 March 2017, 07:24 AM

Squalex · 15 March 2017, 09:08 AM

That elicited a genuine chuckle

TheRolexKingofLV · 15 March 2017, 09:15 AM

Good one

mary006 · 31 March 2017, 11:53 AM

really funny

11 March 2017, 02:06 PM	#1
Ruud Van Driver "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Real Name: Chopped Liver Location: S. Wales Valleys Watch: Mickey Mouse Posts: 9,926	Duck Joke (work safe, child discretion) A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer." The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks, then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him, "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!" "Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money." "I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck. "Where is it?" "At the circus," Says the barman. "The circus?" Repeats the duck. "That's right," Replies the barman. "The circus...?" The duck asks again. "...with the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies. "With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck. "Of course," the barman replies. "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck. "That's right!" says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . ......."What the f… would they want with a plasterer??!" Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week __________________ 116520 Black, 116610 LVc, 116660 D-Blue, 116610 LNc, 116622 Blue, PAM359, PAM689, PAM737 *"Why should you allow an AD to shake you down, just so you can buy a watch" - Grady Philpott* Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

11 March 2017, 02:07 PM	#2
seand442 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Earth Watch: 116610 Posts: 3,455	__________________ NEVER ARGUE WITH AN IDIOT. FIRST THEY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL. THEN, THEY WILL BEAT YOU WITH EXPERIENCE.

11 March 2017, 02:42 PM	#3
Andad 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Eddie Location: Australia Watch: A few. Posts: 37,533	Oh dear! __________________ E

11 March 2017, 03:06 PM	#4
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	__________________ Instagram: @Hairdude Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238 16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped) Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018

11 March 2017, 03:09 PM	#5
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	__________________

11 March 2017, 10:31 PM	#6
Bluside 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 3,081	That's funny.

11 March 2017, 10:35 PM	#7
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,279	:)

11 March 2017, 11:39 PM	#8
Rebel "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Dr Mark R Nail Location: New Albany Watch: Tudor Sub 75090 Posts: 8,254	__________________ ------------------------------- Member of the Nylon Nation

12 March 2017, 12:19 AM	#9
cop414 TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Tim Location: Pennsylvania Watch: 14060M Posts: 72,242	Good one a Paul! __________________ Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & NightClub Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED

12 March 2017, 02:04 AM	#10
hbbfam "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Real Name: Howard Location: Chandler, AZ Watch: Omega SMP300 Posts: 458	Excellent.

12 March 2017, 03:55 PM	#11
waQstar "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Real Name: Walter A. Location: Sunny California Watch: 16760 Posts: 2,629	__________________ Our shadows taller than our soul........

15 March 2017, 07:24 AM	#12
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

15 March 2017, 09:08 AM	#13
Squalex "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Canada Watch: Pam 510 Posts: 53	That elicited a genuine chuckle

15 March 2017, 09:15 AM	#14
TheRolexKingofLV "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2015 Real Name: Trace Location: Vegas/Bay Area Posts: 9,234	Good one __________________ Official Host "The Penthouse Party" Las Vegas 2018 Instagram @tracenunes

31 March 2017, 11:53 AM	#15
mary006 Banned Join Date: Apr 2016 Real Name: Mary Location: US Watch: Daytona Posts: 50	really funny

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