advice on how to kick someone out of your house (nicely)?

[SemperFi]

To the OP, you've gotten enough advice here so I won't offer any.
I'm just curious about whether or not your in laws have voiced any opinions in the past year. They seem to be the winners in this situation.

[Chewbacca]

(follow up)

just saw an old Simpsons episode.

a similar thing happened to Homer with Marge's sister.

[Cato]

She hasn't even offered rent?

It's time to put your foot down and show her the door.

[77T]

Originally Posted by MonBK

I've read through this whole thread and have come to the conclusion that you only have one option left.

Call Paul and ask him to move in.

Your problem will be solved in a few days!

Holy crap, why didn’t I think of that?

Where do I go?
Oh...not this “Paul”, but that other one???
Won’t Anna be jealous?

For the OP: Twins makes this harder than I surmised earlier. Really hard choice for your wife.

[tyler1980]

Originally Posted by SemperFi

To the OP, you've gotten enough advice here so I won't offer any.
I'm just curious about whether or not your in laws have voiced any opinions in the past year. They seem to be the winners in this situation.

they are probably happy as then in the future they will feel ok with never going home themselves. Their daughter is the test subject for their future plans. Especially if they have grandkids. IMO its even harder to kick out inlaws than siblings. Be careful OP, very careful. That is worse.

[andromeda160]

Was kicked out when I was 18, and when I ran into a bind last year where my ex and I broke up and I needed a place to stay I was charged rent moving back in with my parents. Nothing wrong with charging rent or kicking her out if not. Not your fault to foot the bill

[tyler1980]

Originally Posted by andromeda160

Was kicked out when I was 18, and when I ran into a bind last year where my ex and I broke up and I needed a place to stay I was charged rent moving back in with my parents. Nothing wrong with charging rent or kicking her out if not. Not your fault to foot the bill

no offense but i will never understand that mentality. I have a cousin who went through a divorce and had to do the same thing. Her parents charged rent for a short term stay. IMO it makes leaving take longer as money that would otherwise be saved for a down payment on a house is going to pay parents for rent.

Long term overstayers, fine. But, if someone is in a jam then no. I would never, ever do that to my kids as long as they didn't abuse the generosity.

[77T]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

IMO it makes leaving take longer as money that would otherwise be saved for a down payment on a house is going to pay parents for rent.

My wife and I never had to face that situation - but I’m sure we wouldn’t have charges rent for a short stay.

However, if the parents who do/did charge rent kept track, and set the accumulated amount aside, then the person wouldn’t need to stay longer than anticipated.

It’s like a lease/purchase but aimed at the relative(s) moving out sooner than later.


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[brandrea]

I’d sit down with her and have an adult conversation about your expectations of her while she’s living in your house and a firm timeline for when you expect her to leave.

You sound like a very kind and patient person OP.

[goin camping]

As has been said. If your wife is not in agreement to boot her Sis. You will be the one everyone (Wife included) turns on if you try and boot her.

Good luck.

[andromeda160]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

no offense but i will never understand that mentality. I have a cousin who went through a divorce and had to do the same thing. Her parents charged rent for a short term stay. IMO it makes leaving take longer as money that would otherwise be saved for a down payment on a house is going to pay parents for rent.

Long term overstayers, fine. But, if someone is in a jam then no. I would never, ever do that to my kids as long as they didn't abuse the generosity.

It was a bad situation. The breakup mixed with having to move back in because I was so blindsided(ex showed up to my work with all my belongings in her truck the day after I got home from a fishing trip) sent me into a depressive alcoholic spiral that ended me up in rehab. Definitely prolonged my stay and shoved a wedge in my relationship with my parents. After rehab I didn't talk to them at all for a good 6 months. Christmas came around and for the sake of the rest of my family I decided to show up. Got so anxious on the ride there I ended up relapsing after not touching a drink for 7 months. Showed up trashed and everythings been extremely awkward since. I think the best thing if someone has to move back in is give them 2 weeks to a month to get back on their feet and if they need a few extra weeks start charging them a bit extra from there so they don't overstay their welcome. Predetermine the ammount of time they have to leave and as long as everything is laid out up front, noone feels their getting screwed. I stayed at my parents 6 months, at which point i was quite literally ready to kill myself so I went to rehab, which was a 2 week unpaid vacation at the cost of $450 after insurance which set me even further back. I got out, stayed one more night at my parents before saying screw it and living in my car for the next month or so until I got back on my feet and had enough for an apartment.

But the kicker was when I needed to get all of my stuff out of my room at my parents. I had moved in and settled down a bit,didn't want to see my parents at all but I needed some of my stuff(mainly my clothes). My dad told me I had to pay him the 2 months unpaid rent I had accrued despite never showing my face there. I don't understand the logic behind any of it, and it truely made me feel worthless as a child, especially after watching all of my sisters dirtbag boyfriends getting to live under his roof rent free while they plowed his daughters(but I digress). Shit happens though, I'm in a much better place now. But I can see both sides of the rent story.

[michaelodonnell123]

OP, why don't you look for a job for her as a 'Live In Nanny' with a family that is looking for one. Three things would be accomplished in one shot:
-You get your house back
-She gets a new home
-She gets a new job.
-You look like a hero for coming up with such a great idea.

Problem solved.

[Reddy_Kilowatt]

Originally Posted by michaelodonnell123

OP, why don't you look for a job for her as a 'Live In Nanny' with a family that is looking for one. Three things would be accomplished in one shot:
-You get your house back
-She gets a new home
-She gets a new job.
-You look like a hero for coming up with such a great idea.

Problem solved.

That assumes that she's nanny material. I didn't read a single thing in the OP's posts that suggests she should be trusted with someone's children.

[droptopman]

I am in the get the wife involved camp. I would discuss this with my wife and if she had not picked up on my displeasure with the situation, I would explain it to her and expect her to take action to help resolve. We could discuss that action as a team, but I would likely put the burden on her, since it is her sister.

Obviously if we can up with a plan and she did not feel she could take action, I would.

[Bigblu10]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

they are probably happy as then in the future they will feel ok with never going home themselves. Their daughter is the test subject for their future plans. Especially if they have grandkids. IMO its even harder to kick out inlaws than siblings. Be careful OP, very careful. That is worse.

Never EVER let one of your in laws move in with you unless both are in full agreement of the situation. This can be a slippery slope that can ruin a marriage and create a toxic environment in a household.

[Laszlo]

So what’s the verdict? Did you give her the boot?

[returntorolex]

Originally Posted by Rb10chris

I feel like letting her stay here for free has enabled her to be lazy and not take action and make her own life better. What advice can you guys on here offer me in this situation?

You have pretty much nailed it with this observation. Don’t expect her behavior to change until yours does.

Hope it all works out for you.

[rebel_1]

Tough position, but I would tell the wife it’s either she goes or I go.

Or you could be a little devious. Rent her an apartment co-sign if necessary, be the good guy, then don’t co-sign on the renewal. Tell her you expect to be paid back every dollar of this “help” if you have to pay some of the rent and utilities, after all, what non working piece of sh#t doesn’t deserve at least high speed WiFi and cable with DVR. Change the locks when she is gone.

Best outcome, you get paid back and she’s back on her feet. Worse outcome, you lose some $$ and you never see her again. Win, win!!

This is exactly what I’d do. No need for legal mumbo jumbo.

[OgSnowflake]

After a month I’d have taken all of her belongings and put them in the driveway with a sign that said “ see u at Xmas”. That doesn’t work in the middle of the night every damn night at 3-4 am id set an alarm grab 2 pots in the kitchen and at the top of my lungs pretend I was sleepwalking and go around banging the pots n pans stomping my feet bust into her room and start dancing around in your underwear pouring Hershey syrup everywhere....just go nuts ...she’s gonna get sick of sun morning wake up calls of u dancing In your underwear squirting Hershey syrup everywhere in her room banging pots n pans screaming at the top of your lungs.

Problem solved

[Max16013]

Pay rent and if she actually refuses change locks to show her you’re serious. If she really has a problem with her parents and can’t afford her own place her only viable option will be to pay up. Sounds like she’s taken it past the point of being able to handle this nicely though.

Would like to hear an update, if you’ve done anything yet?


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[TheVTCGuy]

I really can't offer any advice but sure hope it works out for you.







(after she is out, can I move in?)

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I really can't offer any advice but sure hope it works out for you.







(after she is out, can I move in?)

Looks like you missed post # 52 Paul.