A damn fine explanation

[idk01]

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom
making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she
cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your
children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I
can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be
the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive
home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and
out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the
enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because
you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in
moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while
she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so
I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you
have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too
tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present,
which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the s*xy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you
don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at
the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair
the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so
grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door,
she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have
anything else that your wife doesn't use?'