Chuck(ies)

[nyctoytimer]

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in front of his fireplace.
The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris can lift a chair with one hand . . . while he's sitting on it.

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

When Chuck Norris enters a courtroom, the judge stands up.

Chuck Norris once went to court and the judge pleaded guilty.

Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the police for making bullet proof vests.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face.
We now have questions.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.

Chuck Norris crossed the road.
No one has ever dared question his motives.

A solar eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.

Chuck Norris is reading this and thinking to himself: "This stuff makes me sound like a pussy."