Moving Troubles

[AzPaul]

Bill was sitting in an airplane when another man took the seat beside him.

The new guy was a wreck. He looked pale, his hands were shaking, he was even mumbling to himself.

"What's the matter?" Bill asked.

"Things aren't good." The man said, "I've been transferred to Illinois, and everything I've heard says it's awful there. They have shootings, riots, gangs, drugs, and the highest crime rate in the country."

"Hold on a minute," Bill interrupted. "I've lived in Illinois my entire life and it's not near as bad as the media makes it out to be. You buy a nice home, you go to work, you mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school, and it's as safe a place to live as you'll find anywhere."

Upon hearing this, a look of relief came over the other man's face. His hands even stopped shaking. "I can't tell you how good that is to hear. Ever since I got the news, I've been worried sick. But if you live there and you say it's okay, that's good enough for me. Thank you so much. So what do you do for a living?"

"Me?" said Bill, "I'm a tail gunner on a Best Buy truck in Chicago.”