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1 August 2009, 12:42 AM | #1 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Real Name: Anthony
Location: USA
Watch: Rolex Daytona TT
Posts: 860
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Rectum Stretcher
While I was driving down the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked:
"Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Speeding ticket: £105.00 Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless.
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