Harold.

[padi56]

Harold is 95 years old and lives in a nursing home. Every afternoon after dinner, he goes into the secluded garden to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One day, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden ... they begin to chat.

After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

"What?" she asks.

"SEX!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred ... and she unzips his trousers ... removes his manhood ... and proceeds to placidly, but pleasurably, hold it.

Afterwards, they agree to meet secretly each afternoon in the secluded garden ... where they would sit and talk ... and Mildred do the honours with Harold's manhood.

Then, one afternoon, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.

Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK. She walked around the nursing home and discovered him sitting behind a tree with another female resident ... Ethel ... who was holding his manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Harold chuckled happily and replied. A fast tremor in both hands.