Why Men Are Never Depressed

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Your last name stays put
The garage is all yours
Wedding plans take care of themselves
You can never be pregnant
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
You can wear NO shirt to a water park
Car mechanics tell you the truth
The world is your urinal
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
Same work, more pay
Wrinkles add character
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
One mood all the time
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase
A 5-day vacation requires two suitcases for a mature man
You can open all your own jars
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
You almost never have strap problems in public
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
Everything on your face stays its original colour
The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades
You only have to shave your face and neck
You can play with toys all your life
One wallet and one pair of shoes - one colour for all seasons
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look
You can do your nails with a pocket knife
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes
Chocolate is just another snack.