My Dorkleheadness almost got me killed....

[TheVTCGuy]

I swear.... I know I'm the President of the Dorklehead club... but sometimes I even amaze myself... SO... Here is the story.

One of my hobbies is hiking, nothing hard-core but I enjoy getting out whenever I can and pushing myself. One of my favorite spots is Cuyamaca state park, about an hour outside of San Diego. They have a couple peaks, I think the tallest is around 6500 feet. I have hiked there many times, never going to the top peak, but the other one, probably 4500 feet high, about a 7 mile and 4 hour total hike. Well, I'm still amped about my heart-stress test on the treadmill last week, so decided this weekend I had NO excuses, I was going to push myself, go to the higher peak, I knew I could do it, but I was going to work really hard, push myself to the limit and climb that mountain! Because it's there! and it's the American thing to do! And... and... Well, you get the idea... I'm a Dorklehead.

As I started the drive out, I noticed some dark clouds forming around the mountain. "Great" I thought, "It won't be so sunny and hot" I mean, it never rains in Southern California... NOT in San Diego in September... and a THUNDERSTORM in San Diego (especially in September) is IMPOSSIBLE!!!! Right Tony and Randy?

As I parked my car in the lot, I noticed mine was the ONLY car there.... "hmmm... that's peculiar...." I wonder why no one else is getting ready to hike the mountain ? Undaunted.... I started off.

I walked through a couple rain showers.... actually greatful for the cooling effect. "This is great!" I thought... "I'm going to get to the top of that mountain!!!!" And I kept moving on! (Dorkle- Head... )

So, I make it to the top.... and I am SO Elated with myself!!!!! What a view!!!! My heart is fine! I pushed myself, I MADE IT!!! Woo Hoo!!! I'm holding my (metal) walking stick over my head like Moses parting the Red Sea! I wish there was somebody around I could share this moment with (Of course, I hadn't seen another soul since starting my hike). See how happy I look in the first pic!?!?! And what a great view too!!!!

Just then.... I hear this.... Low Rumble.... BOOOOOoooooooommmmm behind me.

"It's nothing" I tell myself... Nothing...... Then.. another... Louder...

BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM.....

Hmmmm.....

Then.... a VERY LOUD BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CRACK!!!!

I swear... I hear the LORD himself talking to me... saying:

D O R K L E H E A D.... TURN AROUND!!!!

So I did.... And saw the biggest... meanest... blackest cloud heading straight for me;... Did I mention the lightning? It looked like a battle from Starwars...

So, let's review the situation. I am five miles from the nearest road... All alone... standing on top of a mountain... In the middle of a Lightning storm... Holding a metal rod..... Is... is this a good thing?

So.... I quickly assess the situation.... More importantly.... How I might avoid getting hit by lightning and getting killed. I came up with these solutions:

Step 1. GET THE *#CK OFF THE TOP OF THIS MOUNTAIN!
I don't know what the world speed record is for running down a mountain, but I'm pretty sure I broke it. I ran through grass, bushes, trees, cougars, bears... anything that got in my way I went right through.

Step 2. GET RID OF THAT METAL LIGHTNING ROD!!!!! Which I did while completeing step 1. I threw that think as far as I could as fast as I could as if it were radioactive. I've had that walking stick for 12 years, but, when my life is at stake... See Ya!

Step 3. FIND SHELTER! I have an emergency bivy I cary on every hike (good thing). I broke another world record in setting it up underneath a fallen log, just as the heavy rain, hail and did I mention the lightgning? Started hitting VERY HARD. So, I stayed hunkered down, trying to get as low as possible and making myself as unatractable as possible to lighting strikes, which were happening all around me. The old adrenoline pump was working pretty hard, it was definitely a stressful experience. I kept wondering.... When they found my bones in about five years, would the be able to identify me? Who did I leave my Daytona to?

Anyway, the high winds, thunder and lightning, hail, heavy rain, all passed in about 10 minutes, but it felt like 10 hours....

I swear.... Ignoring the storm clouds, standing on top of a mountain... hiking alone.... NO WONDER I earned President of the Dorklehead club!!!!!


Only me.... These things only happen to me.