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19 November 2005, 05:59 AM | #1 |
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Dutch humour?
Q. Why do Dutchmen wear red suspenders?
A. So they can use them to strangle helpless, enslaved Frisian Islanders. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Who was the Dutch lady I saw you with last night? A. That was no lady. That was a dike. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He: I just ate some Dutch cheese. She: Was it Gouda? He: Jesus, no. It was awful God knows what was in it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He: There were several Dutch cheeses on that plate. She: Edam? He: Are you kidding? If I did, I gouda died. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What did the Dutch tulip farmer do when the traveling Frisian asked to stay overnight at his windmill? A. He made him sleep with his Dutch elm disease-ridden daughter, then baked him alive in his delft-tile kiln. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why did Hitler firebomb Rotterdam, Gomorrah of the North? A. Because he liked his burghers well done. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Because land-hungry Dutchmen had turned its precious marshy habitat into barren tulip fields. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's white on the outside and black and blue all over? A. A defenseless Flemish nun who was tied to a windmill arm, then whipped by a vicious Dutchman with a cat-of-nine-tulips. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He: Who is the smartest Dutchman? She: Senator Joseph Lieberman. He: But he's Jewish. She: He fooled you too, didn't he? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why don't they have baptisms in the Dutch Reformed Church? A. Because they drained all the fonts and planted them with tulips. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Amsterdam. " "Amsterdam who? "Answer the damn door, you slimy cheesegobbling zee-drainer! Either you come out and take your medicine or I'll bust it down and come in there and beat you into a pulp like any right-thinking American should." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. How many Dutchmen does it take to torture a hapless Frisian? A. One to stoke the kiln and six to turn the spit. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What has eighteen legs, eats cheese, smells bad, and has a florid complexion? A. A Dutch baseball team playing with the head of a decapitated Belgian. |
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