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Old 19 November 2005, 05:59 AM   #1
Atomic
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Dutch humour?

Q. Why do Dutchmen wear red suspenders?
A. So they can use them to strangle helpless, enslaved Frisian Islanders.

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Q. Who was the Dutch lady I saw you with last night?
A. That was no lady. That was a dike.

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He: I just ate some Dutch cheese.
She: Was it Gouda?
He: Jesus, no. It was awful God knows what was in it.

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He: There were several Dutch cheeses on that plate.
She: Edam?
He: Are you kidding? If I did, I gouda died.

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Q. What did the Dutch tulip farmer do when the traveling Frisian asked to stay overnight at his windmill?
A. He made him sleep with his Dutch elm disease-ridden daughter, then baked him alive in his delft-tile kiln.

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Q. Why did Hitler firebomb Rotterdam, Gomorrah of the North?
A. Because he liked his burghers well done.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because land-hungry Dutchmen had turned
its precious marshy habitat into barren tulip fields.

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Q. What's white on the outside and black and blue all over?
A. A defenseless Flemish nun who was tied to a windmill arm,
then whipped by a vicious Dutchman with a cat-of-nine-tulips.

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He: Who is the smartest Dutchman?
She: Senator Joseph Lieberman.
He: But he's Jewish.
She: He fooled you too, didn't he?

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Q. Why don't they have baptisms in the Dutch Reformed Church?
A. Because they drained all the fonts and planted them with tulips.

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"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Amsterdam. "
"Amsterdam who?
"Answer the damn door, you slimy cheesegobbling zee-drainer! Either you come out and take your medicine or I'll bust it down and come in there and beat you into a pulp like any right-thinking American should."

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Q. How many Dutchmen does it take to torture a hapless Frisian?
A. One to stoke the kiln and six to turn the spit.

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Q. What has eighteen legs, eats cheese, smells bad, and has a florid complexion?
A. A Dutch baseball team playing with the head of a decapitated Belgian.
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