Just got off the telephone with Paul (theVTCGuy).........

[Grissom]

Originally Posted by MonBK

I don't blame Paul for taking a break after all the crap he took for voicing his opinion.

Just spoke with Paul, also wondering where he was, as I had recently bought him a little gift, and wanted to connect up so I could give it to him. When I saw it, I knew I needed to snag it for him!



I told him that folks were worried and freaking out about "no Paul", and he told me that he had decided to take some time away from TRF......I asked him why, and he said "I guess you didn't see the thread about traveling with a child". I said no, I hadn't as I have not been on TRF much lately, as I was helping my wife on a number of photojournalistic projects she is currently working on.

Well, he told me briefly about that thread, which I just read, and then he shared something with me that I found really appalling......that he had received approximately 15 vitriolic hate filled PMs from a variety of TRF members (as a result of his posts on that thread), some of which he thought were his "cyber/TRF" friends, based on his past interactions with them.

While his posts were clearly off topic (I read the thread), and having traveled extensively with my kids when they were young, as well as extensive travel without my children, and thus understanding all sides of what he brought up, I can certainly understand how his posts might have created some emotion among other TRF members, however, I doubt anyone here felt he was personally attacking any other member, however much they disliked his opinions.

To personally attack anyone for respectfully voicing their opinion (even if extremely unpopular, or out of place, absent any malice), in such a manner, seems totally uncalled for, and to do it as an anonymous (if you will) member of an internet forum, is reprehensible, bordering on scary and even potentially criminal, depending on what is said.

I realize that his comments were/are unpopular to many here, and a simple "Hey Paul, while we respect your right to express your feelings, they are really off topic, so please, if you have nothing to add to the thread, helping out the OP, perhaps this is not the place to voice them" would have been more appropriate, or simply ignoring them and letting them go, would have worked out better.

I am neither defending his comments nor supporting them.....I'm merely sharing, as he told me, why he is making himself scarce now.....and sharing my thoughts as to how inappropriate I feel such "hate mail" is. There is a right way and a wrong way to communicate with someone who you think has crossed a line in a post, where there is no clear cut malice involved. I recall I once posted something kinda mean, in a thread, and another member gently admonished me.......and I got it, and immediately amended my post, and thanked the member for keeping me properly focused!

We may all, a time or two, say something that ends up being quite polarizing, often not even realizing what the end result might be, and then, in our efforts to explain what we meant, we might even make things potentially worse.....as we try and let people know we were not trying to make a mean comment. We don't always "get it" right away, and say, "Gee, thanks, I screwed up with that comment, thanks for setting me straight", especially when we end up feeling personally attacked.

I always felt that Paul was extremely well liked on TRF, and was surprised to hear him tell me what happened......I really found it hard to believe that he was attacked for his comments, feeling that so many here "knew" him from his past interactions, such that they would not immediately go to the "dark side" when he posted something like we are speaking about, but when I read the thread, I saw different, and when informed about the PMs, I was really saddened.

Anyways, that is why he has not been around, according to my brief conversation with him today....I hope he feels comfortable to come back soon, for I miss his stories, and interactions with Jocke.

As I realize that I do not have the post count or longevity of many here, nor am a prolific contributor, I apologize in advance if my comments in any way are considered inappropriate, or if they have offended anyone.