British Humour.

[padi56]

Boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had sex for the first time.

The proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate, but you will have
To wait until next pay day"

The boy replies 'that's all right Dad, my arse is too sore to ride it anyway'

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Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's home last
Night. They didn't get any of my jokes but they still piss#d themselves.



What is the medical term for the fatty tissue surrounding the clitoris?
The wife.
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Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, 'How dare you call me a
Slapper, get out of my bed right now and take your f****ing mates with
You
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I was at Tesco this afternoon, when a lady dropped dead in front of me,
I felt really sorry for her - she had just bought one of those plastic carrier bags for life.
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Teacher says to little Tommy 'Why weren't you at school yesterday?'
Tommy says 'My grandfather got burnt' Teacher says 'Badly?' Little Tommy
Says 'Yes, they don't f*ck about at the crematorium.'

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A friend of mine says he is making love to twins, I said ' How can you
Tell the difference?' He said ' Her brother has got a mustache".
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A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals
Descended into chaos yesterday when somebody shouted 'He's behind you!'