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15 January 2017, 11:14 AM | #1 |
2024 Pledge Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Real Name: John Baker III
Location: Spring,Texas
Watch: 1971 Red Sub
Posts: 2,222
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Bert's New Golf Shoes
Bert, at 85 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the 'Missus.'
Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret at age 83, looked him over and replied, "Nope." Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?" Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow." Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?" "Nope. Not a clue", she replied "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!" Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "You shoulda bought a new hat!!
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As I've grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing off everyone is a piece of cake. |
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