New High School Teacher

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After retiring, a former Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-ass punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. With a strong breeze blowing it made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest, Dead-Silence!

The rest of the year went smoothly.