Offered help, but now feel bad.

[Porschen]

There is a person I’ve started to see pretty regularly around my city; he appears homeless, but seems to try to look “put together”. Today, I was filling up at a gas station and saw him leave the building with a 2 liter of pop and a styrofoam cup; he sat on the curb near the building to have a drink.

As I was filling up, I contemplated offering to grab him something, and ended up walking over after I was done. I asked him how he was doing and said I’m running to the grocery store and can grab him a few things if he’d like. He smiled and said thank you, and said he is okay. I pushed a bit more and asked if he was sure, and that I was headed that way anyway. He insisted he’s good and told me to “keep helping the good guy”.

As I was driving off, I immediately felt bad, like I insulted him by asking if he needed anything, but my gut told me he did. I didn’t want to embarrass him by continuing to push, so I left.

Did I do the right thing? I tend to overthink things a bit, so curious what your thoughts are.

And no, I wasn’t trying to make a YouTube video by shoving a camera in his face as I chatted with him, haha.

[Fourthirteen]

My feeling is that’s it’s never wrong to offer help.

[77T]

Originally Posted by Porschen

There is a person I’ve started to see pretty regularly around my city; he appears homeless, but seems to try to look “put together”. Today, I was filling up at a gas station and saw him leave the building with a 2 liter of pop and a styrofoam cup; he sat on the curb near the building to have a drink.

As I was filling up, I contemplated offering to grab him something, and ended up walking over after I was done. I asked him how he was doing and said I’m running to the grocery store and can grab him a few things if he’d like. He smiled and said thank you, and said he is okay. I pushed a bit more and asked if he was sure, and that I was headed that way anyway. He insisted he’s good and told me to “keep helping the good guy”.

As I was driving off, I immediately felt bad, like I insulted him by asking if he needed anything, but my gut told me he did. I didn’t want to embarrass him by continuing to push, so I left.

Did I do the right thing? I tend to overthink things a bit, so curious what your thoughts are.

And no, I wasn’t trying to make a YouTube video by shoving a camera in his face as I chatted with him, haha.

You did the right thing up to a point.

What point?

Up to the point when you thought you might have done the wrong thing.


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[cdmorenot]

You did nothing wrong. I enjoy helping and I've stumbled upon individuals that refuse to be helped and they would rather the help go to someone who is "more deserving" nothing I can do but move on and try to help the next individual that needs it.

You're a good human.

[Easy E]

Originally Posted by fourthirteen

my feeling is that’s it’s never wrong to offer help.

+1

[cop414]

Absolutely nothing wrong with what you did, good on you for offering.

[AzPaul]

You were just trying to help.

[RichM]

Don’t feel bad. You did good son.

[Rock]

That was a good thing you did - and done with consideration not condescention, too.
Always better to offer and be declined than to not offer.

[pickettt]

Never second guess, so long as you're doing it for the right reason.

[joli160]

We need more people like you

[1William]

No issue. Don't over think it. The decision you made was the right one for you at the time.

[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by 1William

No issue. Don't over think it. The decision you made was the right one for you at the time.

Originally Posted by Rock

That was a good thing you did - and done with consideration not condescention, too.
Always better to offer and be declined than to not offer.

Originally Posted by cdmorenot

You did nothing wrong. I enjoy helping and I've stumbled upon individuals that refuse to be helped and they would rather the help go to someone who is "more deserving" nothing I can do but move on and try to help the next individual that needs it.

You're a good human.

Originally Posted by pickettt

Never second guess, so long as you're doing it for the right reason.

Originally Posted by cop414

Absolutely nothing wrong with what you did, good on you for offering.

This is what you need to be telling yourself OP!!

Good on you for attempting and even starting a passing relationship in the first place.


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[Porschen]

Thanks everyone

[piratfisk]

Originally Posted by Porschen

There is a person I’ve started to see pretty regularly around my city; he appears homeless, but seems to try to look “put together”. Today, I was filling up at a gas station and saw him leave the building with a 2 liter of pop and a styrofoam cup; he sat on the curb near the building to have a drink.

As I was filling up, I contemplated offering to grab him something, and ended up walking over after I was done. I asked him how he was doing and said I’m running to the grocery store and can grab him a few things if he’d like. He smiled and said thank you, and said he is okay. I pushed a bit more and asked if he was sure, and that I was headed that way anyway. He insisted he’s good and told me to “keep helping the good guy”.

As I was driving off, I immediately felt bad, like I insulted him by asking if he needed anything, but my gut told me he did. I didn’t want to embarrass him by continuing to push, so I left.

Did I do the right thing? I tend to overthink things a bit, so curious what your thoughts are.

And no, I wasn’t trying to make a YouTube video by shoving a camera in his face as I chatted with him, haha.

This is where you should've stopped. You asked him once. He replied once. That should've been the end of the conversation. You pushed again, he drew his line in the sand. You're internalizing this negative sentiment because of your ego. Don't read "ego" as a necessarily bad thing, ego just exists in all of us. Identifying where the "cross over" from you wanting to help someone to you wanting to help someone for your own feeling of benevolence may be eye-opening.