police comments

[anilzat]

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7 "Fair, You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours...so you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS...
1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.



____________________

[southtexas]

RE: 13

I saw something similar painted on the nose of an Apache attack helicopter. It said "Don't bother running. You'll just die tired."

[DCgator]

Too funny!

[Gaijin]

So funny and so accurate. I can imagine officers actually saying some of that. Hilarious!




Mine to a group of teens who just broke into and vandalized an elementary school late at night. I was sent on an alarm call there. Tons of damage. Sprayed fire extinguishers and water hoses around. Made them all sit down. 13 kids. Caught them as they were all exiting out of a broken window. Ordered them to sit down. Suddenly one jumps up and runs.

They all look at me ( I am alone waiting for cover,) Me to them "The next one of you that runs, that is the one I am going to chase." ( I was in top shape back then.) "So, who is next?" I said. They all gulped and sat quietly until cover arrived. 12 arrests and they gave up their friend that ran.

[ltmgeller]

[southtexas]

Originally Posted by Gaijin

So funny and so accurate. I can imagine officers actually saying some of that. Hilarious!




Mine to a group of teens who just broke into and vandalized an elementary school late at night. I was sent on an alarm call there. Tons of damage. Sprayed fire extinguishers and water hoses around. Made them all sit down. 13 kids. Caught them as they were all exiting out of a broken window. Ordered them to sit down. Suddenly one jumps up and runs.

They all look at me ( I am alone waiting for cover,) Me to them "The next one of you that runs, that is the one I am going to chase." ( I was in top shape back then.) "So, who is next?" I said. They all gulped and sat quietly until cover arrived. 12 arrests and they gave up their friend that ran.

Haha great story. I could imagine the wheels turning in each of their teenage minds as they contemplated their odds of a successful escape.

[vitalsignsrn]

[Foxy1]

Very very good

[FeelingTheBlues]

Some of these are pure gold!

[Hairdude1]

Very funny

[SLS]

the pic is priceless too!