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Old 28 April 2008, 11:17 AM   #1
HYDROMAROC
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Turning 35...

Anyone else have a "mini midlife crisis" at 35...??? I'm think I'm having one... I have EVERYTHING I want or need in life, but I feel I am still missing out on something... Please share your experiences, I need some reassurance that I will make it through this...
Thanks!!!!
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Old 28 April 2008, 11:26 AM   #2
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I'm 35 too.

If you feel you have everything you need and still not happy...

Then try giving of yourself to others. Volunteer your time, go to church.
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Old 28 April 2008, 11:32 AM   #3
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It's true. Volunteer at the local little league. Help somebody out. Live for someone else.
or buy a motorcycle and travel.
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Old 28 April 2008, 11:39 AM   #4
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Fear not Hydro my good man...you will make it through. You are starting early though. I had my semi mid life crisis after 40. It's OK and it's natural.

You take stock of your life and you can't believe where the last 20 years have gone. You wonder where you would be in your life at that moment if you had done this or that differently 10 or 15 years prior. You think about the women you dated but didn't marry and wonder what would life be like if you had stayed together. You wonder where your career would be had you learned a different trade or studied a different major in College. Any of this sound familiar? I thought those things dozens of times over and I am very happy where I am in my life.

Don't worry. You are not missing out. That feeling, IMO, is simply caused by the desire to have more and to do more than we are really capable of in this life. We simply cannot do all and have all....there just isn't enough time in our lives for it.

The real serenity will come when you accept that, appreciate the good fortune that you already have and fully understand that your life still has many more decades of experiences yet to come. And you can never see these good things coming while you are turned around looking back.
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Old 28 April 2008, 11:41 AM   #5
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Then try giving of yourself to others.
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Volunteer at the local little league. Help somebody out.
All great advice...lots of people out there that could benefit from your helping hand.
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Old 28 April 2008, 01:33 PM   #6
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I became a Rotarian and have invested 30 years of my life in helping others. I have never felt so blessed by God and could not be happier with what I've achieved. It's important to realize that alone, we are nothing; together, we can accomplish great things.

Get involved in something that makes you think of others. May God help you to never forget the plight of and be ever mindful of the needs of others.

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Old 28 April 2008, 01:37 PM   #7
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I'll be 49 next month and damn proud of it. Just hitting my stide.
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Old 28 April 2008, 01:52 PM   #8
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One day at a time.
I had one at 35 and purchased my Porsche.
Turned 41 and since I had no "special day" for my 40th, I purchased the President DD in YG, no regrets and my wife agreed even.

Material acquisitions are important [to me] because I enjoy seeing the fruition of creativity in the human spirit. Family, friends, experiences, etc. are the real important things in life.
40 is the new 30...My mother is turning 70 and she keeps telling me the best is yet to come.

Just don't dwell on it! Life is good, and even better when wearing a Rolex!
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Old 28 April 2008, 03:33 PM   #9
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Almost turning 50 now! Gee, 35, wow, that would be a solution to my pre-AARP blues that I am feeling right about now. I've had ups and downs, but my sign off says it best.
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Old 28 April 2008, 10:29 PM   #10
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Remember, you're only as young as the girl that you feel.
dP
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Old 28 April 2008, 10:36 PM   #11
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Give yourself a shake pal. From the sounds of it you have it pretty good. I'd sell some organs to be 35 again.

However if you are feeling depressed for no apparent reason you may want to talk to your doctor for a referral to a mental health professional. Can't hurt to have it checked out.
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Old 28 April 2008, 11:39 PM   #12
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I will be 45 next month and it means nothing.It's a number.Growing older is a part of life.Every one does it.Just count your blessings and enjoy life, Peter
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Old 29 April 2008, 12:04 AM   #13
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Give yourself a shake pal. From the sounds of it you have it pretty good. I'd sell some organs to be 35 again.

However if you are feeling depressed for no apparent reason you may want to talk to your doctor for a referral to a mental health professional. Can't hurt to have it checked out.
Doc, my husband says they should put ssri's in the drinking water... reminds me of the old movie, "What's So Bad About Feeling Good?"

We kind of went through a rough spot a couple years ago. Come to think of it, I think we're still in the rough spot! I have little useful advice but I do know it's tough to know what changes to make that will help one feel better. And once you know what to change, actually doing it is tough, too. On the other hand, most people do make it through and come out on the other side wiser and better off. I feel youth slipping away, but it's replaced with other things that are valuable, too. Sags and bags and gray hairs notwithstanding. It's helped me to look ahead instead of dwelling on what's in the past.

Hydromaroc, are you married? Have children?
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Old 29 April 2008, 12:13 AM   #14
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Fear not Hydro my good man...you will make it through. You are starting early though. I had my semi mid life crisis after 40. It's OK and it's natural.

You take stock of your life and you can't believe where the last 20 years have gone. You wonder where you would be in your life at that moment if you had done this or that differently 10 or 15 years prior. You think about the women you dated but didn't marry and wonder what would life be like if you had stayed together. You wonder where your career would be had you learned a different trade or studied a different major in College. Any of this sound familiar? I thought those things dozens of times over and I am very happy where I am in my life.

Don't worry. You are not missing out. That feeling, IMO, is simply caused by the desire to have more and to do more than we are really capable of in this life. We simply cannot do all and have all....there just isn't enough time in our lives for it.

The real serenity will come when you accept that, appreciate the good fortune that you already have and fully understand that your life still has many more decades of experiences yet to come. And you can never see these good things coming while you are turned around looking back.
This is a superb saying - from Allan. Bravo. Can' t put it better.

I am 33, no crisis yet, but still feel upset sometimes. Done a lot, won a lot, lost a lot ... still the trip is worth
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Old 29 April 2008, 12:21 AM   #15
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I'm 35, and I agree with the posters who suggest spirituality or volunteering. Do you have kids? If not, consider the Big Brother program. There are so many kids without adult male role models out there!
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Old 29 April 2008, 12:23 AM   #16
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Anyone else have a "mini midlife crisis" at 35...??? I'm think I'm having one... I have EVERYTHING I want or need in life, but I feel I am still missing out on something...
If you are looking for material things to bring you that feeling of "satisfaction" in life, you will never find it. The moment you obtain what you want, thinking that will do it "if I just get that", it will be replaced by one more thing. It is never ending and will bring obsessiveness. I have never found happiness in aquiring things. Nothing wrong with enjoying them, it is just when that becomes your focus through life. Buying off a mid-life crisis is a futile act.

Give or be of service to others. Bringing happiness to another brings it to yourself. Be creative and express that side of yourself. Take up new hobbies and learn something new. If you don't play a musical instrument, learn one. We are essentially creative and experiental beings. Satisfy that aspect.

Live large.
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Old 29 April 2008, 12:47 AM   #17
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I am soon to be 40 and I know what you are going through. I feel something is missing, but I also feel I am close to putting it together.

Good luck

Sean
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Old 29 April 2008, 12:58 AM   #18
HYDROMAROC
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I appreciate everyone's kind words and comments. I'm not looking for material things.. And I don't have kids as of yet ( we will be working on that )

I am not poised to jump of the highest bridge either...

I just wanted to see if I was normal to have these feelings and if I was just unlucky to be having them at 35....

It looks like I'm not alone, and that was reassuring...

Thanks again!!!
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Old 29 April 2008, 01:06 AM   #19
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I had one a age 40. Wanted a motorcycle... badly. Took the test, got the permit, was signed up for classes to learn to ride. My plan was to ride to work (80 miles each way) in the summer and save money and wear and tear on my car.

At this point my wife said, "It's me or a motorcycle." Well, I'm still married and now 8 years later I have no desire to kill myself on a bike. I drive to Brooklyn, NY from the Jersey shore 5 days a week and I see an accident along the way almost daily. But at the time I was really upset I didn't get a motorcycle.
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Old 29 April 2008, 01:10 AM   #20
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I can't even remember that far back.
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Old 29 April 2008, 01:43 AM   #21
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I had one a age 40. Wanted a motorcycle... badly. Took the test, got the permit, was signed up for classes to learn to ride. My plan was to ride to work (80 miles each way) in the summer and save money and wear and tear on my car.

At this point my wife said, "It's me or a motorcycle." Well, I'm still married and now 8 years later I have no desire to kill myself on a bike. I drive to Brooklyn, NY from the Jersey shore 5 days a week and I see an accident along the way almost daily. But at the time I was really upset I didn't get a motorcycle.
And now you look like Rodney Dangerfield!
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Old 29 April 2008, 02:13 AM   #22
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And now you look like Rodney Dangerfield!
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Old 29 April 2008, 02:29 AM   #23
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I am 35, will be 36 in June, and I have just bought my first Rolex...what else can I say?

And I cannot complain, have a good family, 2 children, and plenty of work...and best is yet to come, I am sure....

Regards
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Old 29 April 2008, 02:35 AM   #24
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...and best is yet to come, I am sure....

Regards
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Old 29 April 2008, 04:16 AM   #25
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Fear not Hydro my good man...you will make it through. You are starting early though. I had my semi mid life crisis after 40. It's OK and it's natural.

You take stock of your life and you can't believe where the last 20 years have gone. You wonder where you would be in your life at that moment if you had done this or that differently 10 or 15 years prior. You think about the women you dated but didn't marry and wonder what would life be like if you had stayed together. You wonder where your career would be had you learned a different trade or studied a different major in College. Any of this sound familiar? I thought those things dozens of times over and I am very happy where I am in my life.

Don't worry. You are not missing out. That feeling, IMO, is simply caused by the desire to have more and to do more than we are really capable of in this life. We simply cannot do all and have all....there just isn't enough time in our lives for it.

The real serenity will come when you accept that, appreciate the good fortune that you already have and fully understand that your life still has many more decades of experiences yet to come. And you can never see these good things coming while you are turned around looking back.
Great post, Allan.
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Old 29 April 2008, 08:00 AM   #26
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Getting right with GOD is the solution.... all else is temporary.
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Old 29 April 2008, 12:42 PM   #27
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Getting right with GOD is the solution.... all else is temporary.
Nice response. Best response.

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Old 29 April 2008, 12:53 PM   #28
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I became 37 a few months, ago. What's missing? Well, I have what most would want in life. Unlike others, I'm missing a wife and kids (my own family). For the past 12 years, I'm been concentrating on financial/career goals. Hopefully within the next year, I will married my long time girlfriend (10+ years of happiness). "Life is about family!"
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Old 29 April 2008, 01:04 PM   #29
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You guys look good together. ( I take it that it's your pic on the avatar.)
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Old 29 April 2008, 02:14 PM   #30
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You guys look good together. ( I take it that it's your pic on the avatar.)
Yes it is, and thanks John!
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