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astcell · 20 July 2008, 02:17 PM

(Don't try this at home...)

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. - Moses (Ex 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. - Adam (Gen 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife - David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). - David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

15. A wife?...NOT? - Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

(original author unknown)

kia · 20 July 2008, 02:25 PM

frostie · 20 July 2008, 02:28 PM

Tombstone · 20 July 2008, 03:07 PM

Now thats truly funny.

JJ Irani · 20 July 2008, 05:20 PM

jasonbellevue · 20 July 2008, 06:02 PM

ROLEX MAN · 20 July 2008, 09:47 PM

I like No: 2

pwrslider · 24 July 2008, 06:24 AM

We're all goin to Hell!

Goodwatch · 24 July 2008, 06:31 AM

And special note to #6: It'll cost you

DSJ · 24 July 2008, 07:38 AM

I can always turn to the Bible for life's answers!

swatty · 24 July 2008, 07:56 PM

2 & 14

20 July 2008, 02:17 PM	#1
astcell "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Real Name: Robert Location: Angelus Oaks, CA Watch: 116713 Posts: 6,828	The Top 15 Biblical Ways to Get a Wife (Don't try this at home...) 1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) 2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3) 3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. - Moses (Ex 2:16-21) 4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) 5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) 6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. - Adam (Gen 2:19-24) 7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) 8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife - David (I Samuel 18:27) 9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) 10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) 11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3) 12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). - David (2 Samuel 11) 13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth) 14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3) 15. A wife?...NOT? - Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) (original author unknown)

20 July 2008, 02:28 PM	#3
frostie 1,000,000th PostMember Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 14,048	__________________ GMT - Master II C - 116710 LN

20 July 2008, 03:07 PM	#4
Tombstone "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Real Name: Richard Location: LV, NV Watch: LV Sub and others Posts: 2,689	Now thats truly funny. __________________ Always working...by choice

20 July 2008, 05:20 PM	#5
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

20 July 2008, 09:47 PM	#7
ROLEX MAN 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Martin Location: Home and Away Watch: you? "YES PLEASE"! Posts: 3,719	I like No: 2 __________________ *it's not just about telling the time...* *happy rolexing...* I'm just a man with a passion

20 July 2008, 02:25 PM	#2
kia "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: L A Posts: 11

20 July 2008, 06:02 PM	#6
jasonbellevue "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Real Name: Jason Location: at home Posts: 5,098	__________________

24 July 2008, 06:24 AM	#8
pwrslider "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Real Name: Steve Location: SF BAY AREA CA Watch: 16710 Coke Posts: 3,047	We're all goin to Hell! __________________ Rolex Blue TT Submariner (95) Rolex SS GMT IIc (08) Rolex GMT II 16710 COKE (08 for me..) Rolex Explorer II Blk (91) Breitling SuperOcean Steelfish (07) Panerai 104 & 177ti ( 04/03)

24 July 2008, 06:31 AM	#9
Goodwatch "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Real Name: Frans ® Location: Rotterdam Watch: the sunrise... Posts: 10,230	And special note to #6: It'll cost you __________________ Member# 127

24 July 2008, 07:38 AM	#10
DSJ "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: David Location: USA Watch: your step! Posts: 7,882	I can always turn to the Bible for life's answers! __________________ Rolex. The Rolex of watches. 16570 Expy2 Noir, 116710 GMT Master II, 2552.80 SMP

24 July 2008, 07:56 PM	#11
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415	2 & 14

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