So how do you break it to your wife?

[moviefreak]

This sounds like Mr. & Mrs. Smith...

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

To double the spousal evasion a bit more....

I have a secret offshore Paypal account.

As I type, my wife is watching TV a few clicks North of my current location.

My wife noticed me wearing my Glycine combat w/vanilla band. This was earlier this evening. I played it cool. Inside my mind I went into "code Red".

She's onto me. Did I leave the computer on TRF this morning? Did she count my watches? Did the dogs talk? Does she have a nanny cam?

Oh god! I'm going to get mugged by a pregnant brunette........

I took a gulp, and calmy said "I sent it to Rolex for a valve spring check. I think it was loose"

She then said "I was wondering what you shipped at the post office. I did the bills, and saw your debit transaction"

My face was blank. I'm looking into the face of death. It's make or break time. I could drop my half eaten blueberry muffen, and run out the door.......or.....drop a few bucks for a worthy cause.....






I changed subject, and ask her if she lost a $20 in the washing machine......(of course there never was one)

She LIED, and said "YES"....

I went over to my wallet and got a $20 out and gave it to her...

I can't believe she lied to me.........

She is currently warming something up in the microwave, and wants to look for baby names..

Gotta go!

[Lion]

I have always found that the truth is the best policy for discussing the expenditures of large sums of money.....I have not lied to my wife ever and do not plan to now.....

[gazp]

great story ......just tell the truth ,ok she will be quiet for a while but in a couple of weeks she will be ok again ! you need to take your medicine im afraid .....are you a man or mouse ! ............by the way i like cheese !

[Safetrends]

Originally Posted by Sgt. Henry

Well Its all Pauls fault, (aka ParisDakarBmw) You see I felt the need for a "Pepsi" to accompany my Sea-Dweller So now I am the proud owner of Pauls former 16710 Pepsi. Only I have yet to explain it to my wife.
Soooo My evening began like this:
I marinated two steaks for 4 hours and 37 minutes.
I got her favorite wine
I got off work at exactly 1800 hours
I grilled the steaks over charcoal for exactly 8 minutes a side
I lightly toasted the garlic bread
I set the table with fresh cut flowers from our yard
I poured the wine.....

On her second glass I made my move....."Honey you remember my friend Paul from the Rolex forum?"
She says" the one you want to fly to Auckland to buy him a beer?"
No Honey thats JJ, Paul is a cop too.
She said " he's not the one you got drunk with and got in trouble with for shooting out those street lights is it?"
"no Honey, the one who cut his dogs hair to save money for a watch
You know the one who scratched up his new headboard and hid it from his wife"
She says " Oh THAT one"
"well we traded watches" (me showing her the pepsi)
You traded your ROLEX! You Loved that watch!
(She looks at the Pepsi) "well I don't like it"" I liked the black one better"
Soooo the truth is I didn't really didn't trade, I just hid my Sea-Dweller in the gun safe so I could wear the Pepsi

Sooooo, What do I do now? That really didn't go like I thought & This is All Pauls fault

Pull out the Sea Dweller and tell her you traded back to Paul, get her confused and she will forget it.

My wife, God loves her, however she cannot tell one Rolex from another but she can count. So keep the watches hidden and only remove on at a time.

I spent ten years in law enforcement and I pulled some fast ones on her and she still does not know about them. I am talking about buying $$$ antiques that can blend in with the other antiques in the house.

Good luck and keep your head low.


BTW: I discharged my weapon, in the house when I was by my self and destroyed several dresses of my wifes. She only found out when she was looking at the belts and could not find the dresses. Also the hole in the wall was being covered up by a photo.

Her first husband LAPD discharged his weapon in the bathroom and they needed to buy a new toilet That made a bigger noise than mine going into three walls.

[superb]

You are in hot soup when she finds out...

[MitchSteel]

(She looks at the Pepsi) "well I don't like it"" I liked the black one better"

All too familiar to me, man.Hillarious story.

[User Name]

Wow Mark, of all the people to get in with you pick Paul.

Now I think that every weekend we will be hearing stories from you two.

Now that you blew the first attempt, you need to man up and do it soon. As others have said buy her something nice and then tell the truth about buying the Pepsi, because you don't want to always worry about it.

Honesty is the best policy...... Neil

[Dr. Robert]

Originally Posted by Sgt. Henry

Well Its all Pauls fault, (aka ParisDakarBmw) You see I felt the need for a "Pepsi" to accompany my Sea-Dweller So now I am the proud owner of Pauls former 16710 Pepsi. Only I have yet to explain it to my wife.
Soooo My evening began like this:
I marinated two steaks for 4 hours and 37 minutes.
I got her favorite wine
I got off work at exactly 1800 hours
I grilled the steaks over charcoal for exactly 8 minutes a side
I lightly toasted the garlic bread
I set the table with fresh cut flowers from our yard
I poured the wine.....

On her second glass I made my move....."Honey you remember my friend Paul from the Rolex forum?"
She says" the one you want to fly to Auckland to buy him a beer?"
No Honey thats JJ, Paul is a cop too.
She said " he's not the one you got drunk with and got in trouble with for shooting out those street lights is it?"
"no Honey, the one who cut his dogs hair to save money for a watch
You know the one who scratched up his new headboard and hid it from his wife"
She says " Oh THAT one"
"well we traded watches" (me showing her the pepsi)
You traded your ROLEX! You Loved that watch!
(She looks at the Pepsi) "well I don't like it"" I liked the black one better"
Soooo the truth is I didn't really didn't trade, I just hid my Sea-Dweller in the gun safe so I could wear the Pepsi

Sooooo, What do I do now? That really didn't go like I thought & This is All Pauls fault

Simple.....wear the Seadweller when she's not around & the pepsi when she's around.

[moviefreak]

Yup and if she sees the black insert on the SD tell her the watch has a mood insert that changes colors depending on how you feel..

[AAMD11]

LIES AND DECEIT!!!!!!!!!! Well you already lied to her, now redeeming yourself will be the hard part, always good to tell the truth at first.

[marie]

Am I the only wife who has no problem if my husband wants to buy watches or whatever he wants??

Even if I didn't like Rolex like I do......as long as the finances are in order to do so... why should I mind???

I really must be weird.

[dr_bypass]

No advice on what you should say . I DO KNOW you better pray she doesn't read this thread!.....

[moviefreak]

Better to ask for forgiveness than for permission..

[Balded]

I would echo that one should never lie to the one who knows everything / She who must be obeyed / the trouble and strife aka the wife.

If you must (lie) I might offer the advice that fakes these days are looking very realistic.

[goldminer]

but beware ... I lied to my wife and lost half my collection

[2005rivers]

First I wear my new watch and see if she notices, if she does; I just don't tell her how much it costs, if she doesn't know how much it cost she doesn't know how mad to be. but she's not my wife, she's my fiance So I guess I can get away with that for now.

[presario]

LOL!!! Great story! Can't wait to hear what you do next!!! HAHA!

[icnbne]

take her to Louis Vuitton and let her pick
the only real solution imo

[Carlos98326194]

Hahaha
thanks for sharing! I dont know how my wife would react to that if im in your shoe.
i would usually buy something for my wife before i do any other necessary actions. Haha

[Carlos98326194]

Originally Posted by children

take her to Louis Vuitton and let her pick
the only real solution imo

Exactly
after choosing her bag, i would then drop the bomb!

[Cru Jones]

don't really have anything to add that hasn't already been said, other than to note that the post below made me laugh, a lot....

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

To double the spousal evasion a bit more....

I have a secret offshore Paypal account.

As I type, my wife is watching TV a few clicks North of my current location.

My wife noticed me wearing my Glycine combat w/vanilla band. This was earlier this evening. I played it cool. Inside my mind I went into "code Red".

She's onto me. Did I leave the computer on TRF this morning? Did she count my watches? Did the dogs talk? Does she have a nanny cam?

Oh god! I'm going to get mugged by a pregnant brunette........

I took a gulp, and calmy said "I sent it to Rolex for a valve spring check. I think it was loose"

She then said "I was wondering what you shipped at the post office. I did the bills, and saw your debit transaction"

My face was blank. I'm looking into the face of death. It's make or break time. I could drop my half eaten blueberry muffen, and run out the door.......or.....drop a few bucks for a worthy cause.....






I changed subject, and ask her if she lost a $20 in the washing machine......(of course there never was one)

She LIED, and said "YES"....

I went over to my wallet and got a $20 out and gave it to her...

I can't believe she lied to me.........

She is currently warming something up in the microwave, and wants to look for baby names..

Gotta go!

[Jackxv]

My wife doesn't care about watches at all, she thinks its non sense.

She doesn't bother I love ém and go to watch shows now and then, when we walk thru a main street with AD we go and look together as long as I go into a lingerie shop or whatever too.

As long as the bills are paid she doens't care what I buy, we both work and make a decent living.

I don't lie to her, she will outrun it...really

This woman is as sharp as a knive, when the rumour would've been I was cheating on her with the sister of Osama Bin Laden who never leaves his side she would've found them both within 24 hours


Jack

[bmackinlay]

Easy!! "My way or the highway"" Don't let the door hitca where the Lord splitcha ..

[buz-lh]

Hilarious. Am I the only one feeling a little 4/1 leg pulling?

[2careless]

I suppose you can claim that you can now swap out the bezel between pepsi and black that you got a dual look watch.
This is the easy part. The difficult part is to explain where that several grand in the account went to. Maybe she's counting on it to get a new lounge. Good luck, have fun explaining that...

[eagle_lex]

dont be so hard on yourself. all us cops lie to our wives. its just part of it. lying over a rolex should be the least of her worries!

[CoopJr]

Mark,
I would tell your wife that you'll be contacting Paul about trading back because she doesn't like the Pepsi. After said imaginary contact supposedly takes place, inform her that Paul really wasn't interested in getting the Pepsi back...that he doesn't like it either...that's why he traded in the first place.

So the compromise in the end was to send the SD back to you and sell you the Pepsi at very good price...friendly gesture....brother LEO's, yadda, yadda, yadda. You fill in the financial blank that would be acceptable to your wife and after a few days pull out the SD from the safe and pretend it was sent by Paul to your department instead of your home.

This way you have both watches and sort of reversed the tangled web.

Good luck!

[Mystro]

Your a dead man.

[Hooper]

Well........ better you than me but I would tell her the truth sooner rather than later, or you you have to buy a whole lotta fresh cut flowers and wine for a very long time !!

[Widows Son]

This thread is killing me!!! It was easy sneaking new Glocks, Sigs and AR'S into the house, they all looked the same to her. The problem came when we got married and she gained access to the safe's and saw them all lined up. Watches was slightly more tricky but stilll possible (for awhile). "Is that a new watch?" " "No, I just changed the band." That worked for awhile until she started studying the dials. The old "It was in the repair shop for ages waiting for parts" can also work for a bit. The bottom line is no matter how sneaky we are, a female will always be sneakier.