My Friends, I need your opinions! SERIOUS incident

[Thunderball57]

I find a lot of people these days lack patience, courtesy, and common sense.[/QUOTE]

You've got that straight.

[Touring]

Andy, sorry for your loss. People need to remember that most sellers on this and other forums do this as a hobby, and have jobs where things can get busy. I've dealt with Andy before and he has come through as promised.

That being said, as a seller, you well know that once an agreement has been made, it is preferable to complete the transaction ASAP. The seller may have turned away other potential buyers because there had been an agreement in principle with you, or perhaps he purchased his next piece to sell anticipating the arrival of your payment. Furthermore, there may not have been enough time to go to the bank, but perhaps you had time to send him an email to let him know how busy your day was but that the deal was still on? Or, you could have perhaps sent him a deposit via bank electronic money transfer to show you were serious and then paid the balance the following day? It wouldn't have taken much time at all and could have been done at work.

I'm sure in hindsight, you can see that things probably could have been handled differently. Like others have said, I would just move on and learn from this experience.

[AbsolutelyROLEX!]

Originally Posted by Touring

Andy, sorry for your loss. People need to remember that most sellers on this and other forums do this as a hobby, and have jobs where things can get busy. I've dealt with Andy before and he has come through as promised.

That being said, as a seller, you well know that once an agreement has been made, it is preferable to complete the transaction ASAP. The seller may have turned away other potential buyers because there had been an agreement in principle with you, or perhaps he purchased his next piece to sell anticipating the arrival of your payment. Furthermore, there may not have been enough time to go to the bank, but perhaps you had time to send him an email to let him know how busy your day was but that the deal was still on? Or, you could have perhaps sent him a deposit via bank electronic money transfer to show you were serious and then paid the balance the following day? It wouldn't have taken much time at all and could have been done at work.

I'm sure in hindsight, you can see that things probably could have been handled differently. Like others have said, I would just move on and learn from this experience.

Well I guess you are right there Al.
I still think the punishment did not fit the crime, especially after spending 17k in the last year with the person.
If I treated my good customers at my shop like that, Id be out of business in no time

[bdex75]

I think the being pissed over leaving him hanging twice is ok. I think that banning is rediculious.

I think that as a "forum owner" you need to separate the personal from the business. The sale of a watch is personal, the forum is business.
But in the end it is his bat and ball and if he won't let you play then not much you can do but move on.

I would make sure everyone is good and cooled off. Send an email that states that you are sorry for the way the deal went down and that you should have called/emailed and should not have threatened legal action when upset. Ask for him to re-instate you and give you a chance to win back his trust. You have done business in the past, assuming all that went smoothly, I think he would have to consider. If not he is a jackwagon.



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[MonBK]

Originally Posted by anderl712000

Well I guess you are right there Al.
I still think the punishment did not fit the crime, especially after spending 17k in the last year with the person.
If I treated my good customers at my shop like that, Id be out of business in no time

In fairness to us all don't you think we should know who this seller is?

[Thunderball57]

Originally Posted by MonBK

In fairness to us all don't you think we should know who this seller is?

Second

[Headshrinker]

Originally Posted by locutus49

In my experience, people just have brains wired differently, and are predisposed to behavior.

Some, when confronted with a crisis, view it as either/or, they deal with the crisis and blank out all other responsibilities. Their minds laser focus on one task to the omission of all others.

Other people are predisposed to, when crisis occurs, prioritize their responsibilities and methodically deal with them as time permits. They view the tragedy as only one of many things to cope with, even if it is serious.

My wife is Type 1 and I'm type 2. So in conducting business, you have to understand your own personality and make commitments accordingly. In your case, you could say that if an emergency pops up, you may be delayed, and you will understand that from the other person as well. It will immunize you from the issue and at the same time force you to think about this kind of thing from the other perspective.

I give you much credit for soliciting opinions; such self-awareness is rare in the first personality type (type one) I described above. Assuming I'm correct, which I may not be. Just my experience.

I could not agree more! Communication is always paramount in negotiations, but as you said people respond differently to stress. Locusts, you are a very well-rounded thinker; thought provoking and insightful.

[AbsolutelyROLEX!]

Originally Posted by MonBK

In fairness to us all don't you think we should know who this seller is?

Well guys, in order to stop this from becoming a pissing match between me and the seller I decided to keep it secret.

The seller does not ship to the US anyways (they are outside US), so he/she doesnt really affect the US buyers

[Kingair]

Originally Posted by anderl712000

Well guys, in order to stop this from becoming a pissing match between me and the seller I decided to keep it secret.

The seller does not ship to the US anyways (they are outside US), so he/she doesnt really affect the US buyers

So actually I don't understand all this hassle . . .

No shipping to US . . ?

[locutus49]

A dang foreigner. Well that explains everything

Just joking, keep phasers on stun.

Originally Posted by anderl712000

Well guys, in order to stop this from becoming a pissing match between me and the seller I decided to keep it secret.

The seller does not ship to the US anyways (they are outside US), so he/she doesnt really affect the US buyers

[Wllnv19]

Originally Posted by locutus49

A dang foreigner. Well that explains everything

Just joking, keep phasers on stun.

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by anderl712000

Well guys, in order to stop this from becoming a pissing match between me and the seller I decided to keep it secret.

The seller does not ship to the US anyways (they are outside US), so he/she doesnt really affect the US buyers

If so then even more reason to name him as a lot of members are outside the US and are likely to deal with him.

[AbsolutelyROLEX!]

Originally Posted by MonBK

If so then even more reason to name him as a lot of members are outside the US and are likely to deal with him.

This is true, another moral dilemna.....

[Rzani]

I don't really see the need to out the seller. He didn't screw anyone out of any money. It's not like he is a risk to do business with (although he might be a little difficult). All it will do is satisfy the curiosity of some of our members. He may have overreacted with the ban, but you played a part in this unfortunate situation as well. I completely understand why you started the thread and it seems your question was answered. Furthermore, if you do name him here then you all but guarantee that the ban will stay in place.

[Kingair]

Still the first mail says that OP already bought 3 watches from seller ?

So how did that work

And if I had a returning customer for watch #4 . . . . what does it make to wait 3 days

but that's just my .02

[james1787]

My condolences on the loss of your friend. The ban may have been an overreaction but I can understand why he was angry. He may have felt he was being strung along when he may have other interested buyers ready to spend the money. I think if I were in the situation I would have sent him an email as soon as I knew I had a funeral to go to.. and I would have completed the transaction first thing the next day. As a seller it can be frustrating to be strung along. I've had it happen to me (as a seller). I know as a buyer of something I waste no time getting money to the seller.

[AbsolutelyROLEX!]

Originally Posted by Kingair

Still the first mail says that OP already bought 3 watches from seller ?

So how did that work

And if I had a returning customer for watch #4 . . . . what does it make to wait 3 days

but that's just my .02

Your absolutely right, thats what makes it so frustrating for me

[Maxy]

What is serious here? You unable the buy the watch? You are banned from a forum or that there is death in the family?

[AbsolutelyROLEX!]

Originally Posted by Maxy

What is serious here? You unable the buy the watch? You are banned from a forum or that there is death in the family?

Its the banishment, which tarnishes my reputation needlessly since I rely on it and that forum for feedback and future business

[watchdog507]

I can sympathize here. Some good communication would have gone a long way to prevent this. That said, I've waited a lot longer than three days for funds. I've also had deals turn to S**T when they money never arrived. As for the forum ban, "their forum their rules".

[Knappo 1307]

At least give the site......

[AbsolutelyROLEX!]

Originally Posted by Knappo 1307

At least give the site......

If I reveal the site, I reveal the seller so Id rather not.

Im just getting a general feel for what I should/could have done, and to see if the banishment was justified.
I have learned from the responses here, and I thank everyone for their input

[smartson]

I didn't read entire post but have a sense of feedbacks from members here.

I would suggest to OP not to bring up personal situations (family tragedy, work load etc) again to seller because he/she doesn't have same emotional investment as you do except expecting you to honor your words to send money. My experience is 'too much explanation sounds like an excuse" and that doesn't go well with other side. Often a simply explanation is enough if delayed.

Damage has already been done but we all have the power to make things right. Good luck.

[NKflyer]

Originally Posted by Knappo 1307

At least give the site......

It's not very difficult to figure out. Andy uses (used?) the same handle over there. I personally had not heard of the forum before.

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by NKflyer

It's not very difficult to figure out. Andy uses (used?) the same handle over there. I personally had not heard of the forum before.

Neither had I.

[Johny]

Originally Posted by MonBK

Neither had I.

me neither.

[patek97]

look i l bought many watches even from the same person many times,
if they know me i am good for the deal,but you need to let them know andy.
If i buy a watch from you the communication is essential,sorry for your loss.
A person i knew for 20 years did the same thing but i knew he would buy it ,hehe it took him a week to send the money .Since i knew he was a bit weird it was okay he honest ,but i known him for a long time.
If i buy a watch from you andy all i ask is you keep me informed and updated as per deal.

[Dagmus]

The seller overreacted!!! Plain and simple... I think many of us have been to a AD promised to be back the next day and poof a week later we are buying the product.. The AD doesn't demand a apology or ban us from the store we have purchased there before and would do so again. My son crashed his plane on the day of my BLNR purchase and I no called no showed the AD... Watches compliment out lives bring us joy they are in no means our lives!

My angry rant :-) apologies if I offended anyone

[Dagmus]

Yes I know he's not a AD that would warrant more patience and understanding on his part not less!!

Sorry for part two

[CDNWatchNut]

I have dealt with both the other person and Andy on watches and had very good experiences with each of them. It's a shame that a ban has resulted, between what I would normally say are two "good guys" but I can see where sometimes things can get emotional and out of proportion when dealing with someone via text/email.
I think perhaps after some time has passed, and cooler heads prevail, an attempt to reconcile would be fair and reasonable. Good luck Andy