what it takes to be a good laywer.

[TJMike]

If I get divorced my wife can have everything, except my watches...

[mjr24]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

yes... otherwise dont get married.

One party should enhance the other and vice versa. If one spouse makes 100X more than the other often times its because of the other that they are able to do that. Drives me nuts when someone gets a divorce and think they should get the vast majority of the assets because they were the one who made the most money.

i think its should be 50/50 regardless no haggling required and would save a ton of hassle. My wife' best friend got divorced from her husband. She was a stay at home mom because he traveled and moved the family all across the world every year or two for his career. He spent 90% of their net worth in legal fees to avoid splitting it 50/50. He and she ended up with 5% each of what they started with. He didn't care because he could make it back, she couldn't.

Highly disagree with this. The bigger issue is community property states where it’s 50/50 on anything you made/had BEFORE you even met the other person. Why the hell should I give half of what I had to someone when I didn’t even know that person when I made it. I’m not divorced and have never been married....but I won’t lie, I think hard about this.

Also, a lot of stay at home wives do so because they want to sit at home or at the country club while the husband is out paying for all that. Why should she get half if they get divorced? It’s her choice to stay at home.

[tyler1980]

Originally Posted by mjr24

Highly disagree with this. The bigger issue is community property states where it’s 50/50 on anything you made/had BEFORE you even met the other person. Why the hell should I give half of what I had to someone when I didn’t even know that person when I made it. I’m not divorced and have never been married....but I won’t lie, I think hard about this.

Also, a lot of stay at home wives do so because they want to sit at home or at the country club while the husband is out paying for all that. Why should she get half if they get divorced? It’s her choice to stay at home.

i guess dont get married. When i stayed at home with my kids for a time, it was the hardest job i ever did. Plus at the time it was a financial decision... i could follow my wife to the UK, put my high paying career on hold so she could make 5X as much money. 1 income = far more total income vs two incomes staying where we were. I couldn't work right away. I definitely contributed to our net worth because without me she wouldn't have been able to make that money and wouldn't have gone if i was not on board. I just think the perception of parents/spouses who stay at home either temporarily or permanently is totally devalued by people who have no clue

expats in particular deal with this issue a lot and one spouse always has to take the back seat for the good of the family because the person who's job is overseas typically does it because of insanely good compensation. To think both didn't equally make that situation happen is crazy and to not factor in what the other one gave up also is wrong.

Your stereotypical country club wives in your example are also that way because the husband wants them to be that way... they want dinner on the table when they get home, they want a trophy wife, they want someone available anytime they are available etc. So in the event of a divorce why punish the spouse who was doing the "job" the husband wanted them to do? I know a lot of men like that. They absolutely don't want their wife to work or flat out won't allow it. Then in a divorce they dont want to give them anything.

A sports team with a superstar can't win a championship without a supporting cast. Its the opposite of what marriage is IMO to not think one persons success isn't directly or indirectly related to their partner in many ways. Anyone who doesn't think that probably isnt a good spouse to begin with and probably will get a divorce anyway because they think everything is their success, and not our success.

[Tape]

what it takes to be a good lawyer

A Bullet

[ecdc]

Originally Posted by mjr24

Highly disagree with this. The bigger issue is community property states where it’s 50/50 on anything you made/had BEFORE you even met the other person. Why the hell should I give half of what I had to someone when I didn’t even know that person when I made it. I’m not divorced and have never been married....but I won’t lie, I think hard about this.

Also, a lot of stay at home wives do so because they want to sit at home or at the country club while the husband is out paying for all that. Why should she get half if they get divorced? It’s her choice to stay at home.

To the extent this has now morphed into a referendum on marriage, I'll say this. Marriage can be wonderful. My life is so much better being married to my wife than if I were single. When you find the right person you can't imagine being apart from her (or him). Not out of lust alone, but also because you realize that person makes you whole and you don't like the empty feeling when she (or he) isn't around. If you can find your person like that, you'll be the luckiest guy (or gal) in the world.

[TJMike]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

i guess dont get married. When i stayed at home with my kids for a time, it was the hardest job i ever did. Plus at the time it was a financial decision... i could follow my wife to the UK, put my high paying career on hold so she could make 5X as much money. 1 income = far more total income vs two incomes staying where we were. I couldn't work right away. I definitely contributed to our net worth because without me she wouldn't have been able to make that money and wouldn't have gone if i was not on board. I just think the perception of parents/spouses who stay at home either temporarily or permanently is totally devalued by people who have no clue

expats in particular deal with this issue a lot and one spouse always has to take the back seat for the good of the family because the person who's job is overseas typically does it because of insanely good compensation. To think both didn't equally make that situation happen is crazy and to not factor in what the other one gave up also is wrong.

Your stereotypical country club wives in your example are also that way because the husband wants them to be that way... they want dinner on the table when they get home, they want a trophy wife, they want someone available anytime they are available etc. So in the event of a divorce why punish the spouse who was doing the "job" the husband wanted them to do? I know a lot of men like that. They absolutely don't want their wife to work or flat out won't allow it. Then in a divorce they dont want to give them anything.

A sports team with a superstar can't win a championship without a supporting cast. Its the opposite of what marriage is IMO to not think one persons success isn't directly or indirectly related to their partner in many ways. Anyone who doesn't think that probably isnt a good spouse to begin with and probably will get a divorce anyway because they think everything is their success, and not our success.

[timedate]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

yes... otherwise dont get married.

One party should enhance the other and vice versa. If one spouse makes 100X more than the other often times its because of the other that they are able to do that. Drives me nuts when someone gets a divorce and think they should get the vast majority of the assets because they were the one who made the most money.

i think its should be 50/50 regardless no haggling required and would save a ton of hassle. My wife' best friend got divorced from her husband. She was a stay at home mom because he traveled and moved the family all across the world every year or two for his career. He spent 90% of their net worth in legal fees to avoid splitting it 50/50. He and she ended up with 5% each of what they started with. He didn't care because he could make it back, she couldn't.

you can set out with the very best intentions, but when one party can wake up one day and 'legally' take someones children on a whim, and move anywhere in the country they choose, well if you think thats an equal deal in the eyes of the law then you crack on.

And as for the horrors of alimony, paying someone for years because you once went to bed with them, regardless of what transpired in their lives after you had both moved on, again, if thats an equal deal, then you crack on.


p.s i have never married, i never will, seen what happened to my brother, an 'equal' law and deal would have stopped this happening to him twice.

p.p.s he is a nice man, but got shafted for being nice in the highly unequal theatre of marriage and divorce.

[DLRIDES]

What does it take ?

A natural born liar, professionally trained to do so within the content of legality, not morality.

[tyler1980]

Originally Posted by DLRIDES

What does it take ?

A natural born liar, professionally trained to do so within the content of legality, not morality.

if its not your lawyer then that's probably the perception, if its your lawyer then they are the pinnacle of the legal system. So it depends on what side you are on

[superdog]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

Anyone who doesn't think that probably isnt a good spouse to begin with and probably will get a divorce anyway because they think everything is their success, and not our success.

Okay, again from your perspective.

From Mine, I’m a damn good spouse. I love my wife. We very much enjoy being together and spending time together. We have mutual respect for each other. We have empathy for each other. We like the same things. I’m devoted to giving her a good life. Being that I’ll die well before her, I’m dedicated to making sure she will want for nothing.

But again, I got married at 40. That was just 5 years ago. My wife has zero to do with any success I may have (or may not have) achieved.

Besides being a wonderful partner, she contributes absolutely zero to my professional life.

Heck, I can’t even count on her to keep the fridge full. Even after she stated she could use some help and I took on the responsibility of paying for the groceries. Yes, we broke down responsibilities of who does what.

She’s too busy working on her career. Which again contributes almost nothing to the household. But I support her and what she is doing because I love her and I am grateful for her. And because one of my goals is to be a good partner.

But if life happens and she hops into bed with some young stud at one of her fitness centers, or she decides she wants to travel the world, or she just gets tired of a guy that is 10 years her senior, I’ll be damned if she takes half. And let’s be real, that stuff happens. According to statistics, it happens more often than not.

Your perspective is real and valid. From a certain point of view. But relationships and divorces are not black and white. This is likely one of the reasons they can get so complicated.

[timedate]

so many widows in big houses, living off the dead mans efforts, see it everywhere, these were the ones that stayed married and dident get divorced. lol.

[DLRIDES]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

if its not your lawyer then that's probably the perception, if its your lawyer then they are the pinnacle of the legal system. So it depends on what side you are on

Absolutely applies to either, you want the best liar on your side !

[tyler1980]

Originally Posted by superdog

Okay, again from your perspective.

From Mine, I’m a damn good spouse. I love my wife. We very much enjoy being together and spending time together. We have mutual respect for each other. We have empathy for each other. We like the same things. I’m devoted to giving her a good life. Being that I’ll die well before her, I’m dedicated to making sure she will want for nothing.

But again, I got married at 40. That was just 5 years ago. My wife has zero to do with any success I may have (or may not have) achieved.

Besides being a wonderful partner, she contributes absolutely zero to my professional life.

Heck, I can’t even count on her to keep the fridge full. Even after she stated she could use some help and I took on the responsibility of paying for the groceries. Yes, we broke down responsibilities of who does what.

She’s too busy working on her career. Which again contributes almost nothing to the household. But I support her and what she is doing because I love her and I am grateful for her. And because one of my goals is to be a good partner.

But if life happens and she hops into bed with some young stud at one of her fitness centers, or she decides she wants to travel the world, or she just gets tired of a guy that is 10 years her senior, I’ll be damned if she takes half. And let’s be real, that stuff happens. According to statistics, it happens more often than not.

Your perspective is real and valid. From a certain point of view. But relationships and divorces are not black and white. This is likely one of the reasons they can get so complicated.

not saying you strategy cant work, and if it does, thats awesome. You cant deny though that you are the one in the position of power in the partnership so obviously its hard to give that up.

Depending on who your partner is a power imbalance can lead to major issues as i have to think at some level the person in the weaker position resents it to at least some extent, but just deal with it as it is what it is. Our household is very much two type "A" personalities so its got to be right down the middle

I always like to take the weaker position and imagine myself there and usually i would not be ok with it so i therefore don't take the stronger position either.

works for me, but thats just me. maybe its too black and white, but for me i'm either in 100% or out 100%

FWIW im not so black and white on assets brought into the marriage. Its more assets accumulated while married no matter who made what.

[DLRIDES]

Except for child rearing :

Marriage is nothing more than an act of insecurity brought about by social and religious teachings.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

not saying you strategy cant work, and if it does, thats awesome. You cant deny though that you are the one in the position of power in the partnership so obviously its hard to give that up.

Depending on who your partner is a power imbalance can lead to major issues as i have to think at some level the person in the weaker position resents it to at least some extent, but just deal with it as it is what it is.

I always like to take the weaker position and imagine myself there and usually i would not be ok with it so i therefore don't take the stronger position either.

works for me, but thats just me. maybe its too black and white, but for me i'm either in 100% or out 100%

Lmao. As I just got in from shoveling and cleaning her car off so she could go to work, I’m thinking she is the one with the power.

And it’s funny, while I’m the breadwinner, she surely is the person of power. She’s the most confident self assured woman I’ve ever met. As per another thread, I’m most certainly punching.

Although, I do get what you are saying. Truth is, her role in these studios and her ability as a teacher could very well propel her to a very fruitful career. And boy oh boy, I hope that it does.

Could I deal with her becoming a celebrity fitness instructor? Heck yeah I could.

I’d love to see it.

Now that she’s left, I need to unpack a few more boxes (her instructions) wait for the guy hooking up the whole house water filtration unit (her “demand”), and then head to the gym so I don’t become the older fat guy that people point (and laugh at) at for being with the young hot wife.

I do completely get your points tho. Very possibly this dynamic works for us because we came into the relationship this way. If it evolved into something like this, it might very well be a different story.

We both work hard every day to ensure we don’t go down the divorce path. That’s just typically a disaster, no matter what.

[tyler1980]

Originally Posted by superdog

We both work hard every day to ensure we don’t go down the divorce path. That’s just typically a disaster, no matter what.

thats the best marriage advise ever. Its absolutely a job, and you have to go to work every day. Agree 100%

[superdog]

Originally Posted by DLRIDES

Except for child rearing :

Marriage is nothing more than an act of insecurity brought about by social and religious teachings.

Being a guy, in a marriage, with no children (besides dogs), I should take offense. But I completely agree with you.

I think you are completely correct.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

thats the best marriage advise ever. Its absolutely a job, and you have to go to work every day. Agree 100%

Definitely.

[tyler1980]

Originally Posted by superdog

Being a guy, in a marriage, with no children (besides dogs), I should take offense. But I completely agree with you.

I think you are completely correct.

kids do change perspective as well. Maybe dogs do too no idea. But maybe thats where the difference is coming from.

Day 1 of being a parent, its like you become to totally different person, seriously. Without that maybe your way works better, no idea. We waited to get married until we were ready for kids and it happened immediately. So we were never married with just us except for briefly.

[DLRIDES]

Originally Posted by superdog

Being a guy, in a marriage, with no children (besides dogs), I should take offense. But I completely agree with you.

I think you are completely correct.

Not meant to be offensive, but if we weren’t taught as children that we must/should, we wouldn’t.

It’s just one of those brutal truths that appear when one looks past the societal pressure.

[timedate]

my ex sister in law has 3 fully paid for houses, a subserviant docile husband, and a new car.

My brother had to start again at 51 with a 100 percent mortgage.

He could have retired at 50, but its ok, society says he is just a man so its all ok.

[77T]

I sympathize with those who have had such bad experiences that clearly left them with long lived animosity towards marriage, law, lawyers and women.

For the OP, you may have the poorer attorney if these suits are costing you an equal amount of money as your ex-wife. Judges in frivolous suits will order (when asked in a pleading) that the loser of the meritless litigation will pay all of the victor’s legal bills.

For those who had such negative feelings, I hope the future will bring healing from past injuries that caused such pain.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[superdog]

Originally Posted by DLRIDES

Not meant to be offensive, but if we weren’t taught as children that we must/should, we wouldn’t.

It’s just one of those brutal truths that appear when one looks past the societal pressure.

Agree.

[austinp]

Originally Posted by superdog

Lmao. As I just got in from shoveling and cleaning her car off so she could go to work, I’m thinking she is the one with the power.



And it’s funny, while I’m the breadwinner, she surely is the person of power. She’s the most confident self assured woman I’ve ever met. As per another thread, I’m most certainly punching.



Although, I do get what you are saying. Truth is, her role in these studios and her ability as a teacher could very well propel her to a very fruitful career. And boy oh boy, I hope that it does.



Could I deal with her becoming a celebrity fitness instructor? Heck yeah I could.



I’d love to see it.



Now that she’s left, I need to unpack a few more boxes (her instructions) wait for the guy hooking up the whole house water filtration unit (her “demand”), and then head to the gym so I don’t become the older fat guy that people point (and laugh at) at for being with the young hot wife.



I do completely get your points tho. Very possibly this dynamic works for us because we came into the relationship this way. If it evolved into something like this, it might very well be a different story.



We both work hard every day to ensure we don’t go down the divorce path. That’s just typically a disaster, no matter what.

Targa on the way AND married to a fitness instructor? Winning!! Well done bro.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by austinp

Targa on the way AND married to a fitness instructor? Winning!! Well done bro.

Brother. I kid you not, I really should change my name to luckydog.

Sure. We make our own luck. But damn, have I gotten super lucky in so many ways.

Living the dream.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by superdog

Brother. I kid you not, I really should change my name to luckydog.

Sure. We make our own luck. But damn, have I gotten super lucky in so many ways.

Living the dream.

Like I said. Luckydog.

I just won the final box Rams vs Saints.

$2,000. Unreal. Sorry for ofc topic post.

[stanc1]

Originally Posted by superdog

Same thing it takes to be a good anything.

Or a Compulsive Liar.

[Watch This]

You know it's funny. If this thread had been about police officers, it would rightfully have been shut down. If it were about politicians, it would have lasted five minutes. But its OK I guess to call lawyers just about every negative stereotype imaginable. The one word "bullet" post was particularly articulate.

That's fine. I do a great job for my clients. I tell them the truth, not what they want to hear. I treat other attorneys with respect and civility. I am prepared, always, and I know when to keep my mouth shut. And as a Family Law Attorney, I can help people through a difficult process.

Haters can hate. The misinformed and the aggrieved can spew worthless opinions. Last week was a mid five figure week for me. I love my job. I love my profession. And I am in the market for a really nice shiny new wristwatch for all my hard work.

[Valenciawatchrepair]

Originally Posted by superdog

Lmao. As I just got in from shoveling and cleaning her car off so she could go to work, I’m thinking she is the one with the power.

And it’s funny, while I’m the breadwinner, she surely is the person of power. She’s the most confident self assured woman I’ve ever met. As per another thread, I’m most certainly punching.

Although, I do get what you are saying. Truth is, her role in these studios and her ability as a teacher could very well propel her to a very fruitful career. And boy oh boy, I hope that it does.

Could I deal with her becoming a celebrity fitness instructor? Heck yeah I could.

I’d love to see it.

Now that she’s left, I need to unpack a few more boxes (her instructions) wait for the guy hooking up the whole house water filtration unit (her “demand”), and then head to the gym so I don’t become the older fat guy that people point (and laugh at) at for being with the young hot wife.

I do completely get your points tho. Very possibly this dynamic works for us because we came into the relationship this way. If it evolved into something like this, it might very well be a different story.

We both work hard every day to ensure we don’t go down the divorce path. That’s just typically a disaster, no matter what.

Some of the double standards you have here make me cringe. And you almost seem to post them....proudly.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by Valenciawatchrepair

Some of the double standards you have here make me cringe. And you almost seem to post them....proudly.

I don't see any double standards.

And I am simply sharing my life. Makes for a boring conversation if you don't have examples, imo.

Please do enlighten me though. I just reread it, and again I don't see any double standards. Quite possible something is coming across wrong, which happens.