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buz-lh · 10 December 2009, 01:08 AM

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was --
--Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, --
--but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, --
--but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class --
--because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5.. The butcher backed into the meat grinder --
--and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, --
--it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road --
--and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France --
--would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. --
--They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. --
--Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. --
--The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism --
--is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. --
--One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.--
-- Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, --
--'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.--
-- His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road --
--is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison --
--was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray --
--is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet --
--writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. --
--In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, --
--they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: --
--Practice safe sects !

sandytn · 10 December 2009, 01:43 AM

Some nice ones.

swatty · 12 December 2009, 07:02 PM

idk01 · 13 December 2009, 10:40 AM

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lion · 17 December 2009, 01:41 PM

Very good!!!

snow_rocks · 22 December 2009, 07:10 AM

Clever!

limbo · 22 December 2009, 08:52 PM

10 December 2009, 01:08 AM	#1
buz-lh "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Buz Location: Atlanta Watch: Rolex Tudor Pam Posts: 5,108	Punny 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was -- --Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, -- --but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, -- --but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class -- --because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5.. The butcher backed into the meat grinder -- --and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, -- --it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road -- --and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France -- --would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. -- --They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. -- --Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. -- --The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism -- --is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. -- --One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.-- -- Then, it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, -- --'Keep off the Grass.' 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.-- -- His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.' 17. A chicken crossing the road -- --is poultry in motion. 18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison -- --was a small medium at large. 19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray -- --is now a seasoned veteran. 20. A backward poet -- --writes inverse. 21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. -- --In feudalism, it's your count that votes. 22. When cannibals ate a missionary, -- --they got a taste of religion. 23. Don't join dangerous cults: -- --Practice safe sects ! __________________ Buz The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live. Peter Diamandis

13 December 2009, 10:40 AM	#4
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

17 December 2009, 01:41 PM	#5
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

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10 December 2009, 01:43 AM	#2
sandytn Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Sandy Location: NJ Posts: 713	Some nice ones.

12 December 2009, 07:02 PM	#3
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

22 December 2009, 07:10 AM	#6
snow_rocks Banned Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Rick Location: At what TIME?!!! Watch: the SKY tonite! Posts: 3,225	Clever!

22 December 2009, 08:52 PM	#7
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

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