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19 November 2005, 05:59 AM

Q. Why do Dutchmen wear red suspenders?
A. So they can use them to strangle helpless, enslaved Frisian Islanders.

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Q. Who was the Dutch lady I saw you with last night?
A. That was no lady. That was a dike.

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He: I just ate some Dutch cheese.
She: Was it Gouda?
He: Jesus, no. It was awful God knows what was in it.

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He: There were several Dutch cheeses on that plate.
She: Edam?
He: Are you kidding? If I did, I gouda died.

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Q. What did the Dutch tulip farmer do when the traveling Frisian asked to stay overnight at his windmill?
A. He made him sleep with his Dutch elm disease-ridden daughter, then baked him alive in his delft-tile kiln.

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Q. Why did Hitler firebomb Rotterdam, Gomorrah of the North?
A. Because he liked his burghers well done.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because land-hungry Dutchmen had turned
its precious marshy habitat into barren tulip fields.

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Q. What's white on the outside and black and blue all over?
A. A defenseless Flemish nun who was tied to a windmill arm,
then whipped by a vicious Dutchman with a cat-of-nine-tulips.

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He: Who is the smartest Dutchman?
She: Senator Joseph Lieberman.
He: But he's Jewish.
She: He fooled you too, didn't he?

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Q. Why don't they have baptisms in the Dutch Reformed Church?
A. Because they drained all the fonts and planted them with tulips.

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"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Amsterdam. "
"Amsterdam who?
"Answer the damn door, you slimy cheesegobbling zee-drainer! Either you come out and take your medicine or I'll bust it down and come in there and beat you into a pulp like any right-thinking American should."

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Q. How many Dutchmen does it take to torture a hapless Frisian?
A. One to stoke the kiln and six to turn the spit.

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Q. What has eighteen legs, eats cheese, smells bad, and has a florid complexion?
A. A Dutch baseball team playing with the head of a decapitated Belgian.

Goodwatch · 19 November 2005, 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic

Q. Why do Dutchmen wear red suspenders?
A. So they can use them to strangle helpless, enslaved Frisian Islanders.

I know it is from this site: http://www.nationallampoon.com/dutch/dindex.html, the entry is still in my search engine (way ahead of you pal). The one above is abacadabra to me, I don't get it.

On the site they've got a few of the facts just plain wrong.

The architect (Ludwig) Mies van der Rohe was German and Mies is not his first name. Mies is something we would call a cat.

But I like the concept and the effort.

19 November 2005, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

I know it is from this site: http://www.nationallampoon.com/dutch/dindex.html, the entry is still in my search engine (way ahead of you pal). The one above is abacadabra to me, I don't get it.

On the site they've got a few of the facts just plain wrong.

The architect (Ludwig) Mies van der Rohe was German and Mies is not his first name. Mies is something we would call a cat.

But I like the concept and the effort.

Hey, just remember who liberated you guys in WW2.

Glad you appreciate the effort, Frans. I don't care what the other guys say, you're alright!

JJ Irani · 19 November 2005, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic

Hey, just remember who liberated you guys in WW2.

Glad you appreciate the effort, Frans. I don't care what the other guys say, you're alright!

Agreed...100%!!

Goodwatch · 19 November 2005, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

Agreed...100%!!

And what do YOU mean with Agreed and thumbs up? What are the other guys (and you)saying about me? Huh?

padi56 · 19 November 2005, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic

Hey, just remember who liberated you guys in WW2.

Glad you appreciate the effort, Frans. I don't care what the other guys say, you're alright!

The tanks of the British Guards Armoured Division crossed the bridge of the river Waal in Nijmegen to liberate Holland.With the Infantry and units of the 51st Highland Infantry Division plus a few others.

19 November 2005, 05:59 AM	#1
Atomic Guest Posts: n/a	Dutch humour? Q. Why do Dutchmen wear red suspenders? A. So they can use them to strangle helpless, enslaved Frisian Islanders. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Who was the Dutch lady I saw you with last night? A. That was no lady. That was a dike. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He: I just ate some Dutch cheese. She: Was it Gouda? He: Jesus, no. It was awful God knows what was in it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He: There were several Dutch cheeses on that plate. She: Edam? He: Are you kidding? If I did, I gouda died. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What did the Dutch tulip farmer do when the traveling Frisian asked to stay overnight at his windmill? A. He made him sleep with his Dutch elm disease-ridden daughter, then baked him alive in his delft-tile kiln. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why did Hitler firebomb Rotterdam, Gomorrah of the North? A. Because he liked his burghers well done. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Because land-hungry Dutchmen had turned its precious marshy habitat into barren tulip fields. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's white on the outside and black and blue all over? A. A defenseless Flemish nun who was tied to a windmill arm, then whipped by a vicious Dutchman with a cat-of-nine-tulips. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He: Who is the smartest Dutchman? She: Senator Joseph Lieberman. He: But he's Jewish. She: He fooled you too, didn't he? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why don't they have baptisms in the Dutch Reformed Church? A. Because they drained all the fonts and planted them with tulips. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Amsterdam. " "Amsterdam who? "Answer the damn door, you slimy cheesegobbling zee-drainer! Either you come out and take your medicine or I'll bust it down and come in there and beat you into a pulp like any right-thinking American should." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. How many Dutchmen does it take to torture a hapless Frisian? A. One to stoke the kiln and six to turn the spit. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What has eighteen legs, eats cheese, smells bad, and has a florid complexion? A. A Dutch baseball team playing with the head of a decapitated Belgian.

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