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ronin_ph · 27 January 2016, 07:13 AM

An old friend who I haven't seen in many years reached out to me about 6-months ago and asked if he could talk to me (the wonder of Facebook).

In short, he needed a loan. I figure I was an easy person to ask to avoid asking someone in our circle of friends locally. I now live in a different city.

I wired the funds and he needed a bit more so i sent another sum. It's not a huge sum of money. Nonetheless, I believe in people keeping their promises. Therefore, I allowed him to set the payback date. The date, December 15 came and went so I followed up with my account details. He became hugely belligerent about how I lack compassion and how if I was a real friend I'd understand he's going through a hard time.

Left him alone during holidays. Even sent gifts to his kids (didn't get a thank you either). Let it go for about another month and just followed up with him. He told me to f*** off.

What would you do?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

GradyPhilpott · 27 January 2016, 07:16 AM

Chalk it up to charity and move on.

In the long haul, it's probably the cheapest way to find out the true nature of your "friend."

mannyv11 · 27 January 2016, 07:18 AM

I would send a certified letter from my lawyer and say see you in small claims court.
I also wouldn't loan money to friends that I would ever expect to get back. If I did get it back that would be an added bonus.

I also wouldn't loan any money to a "friend" who I haven't seen or heard from in years.
I hope you get your money back but it sounds like this guy is a Dbag.

dddrees · 27 January 2016, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GradyPhilpott

Chalk it up to charity and move on.

In the long haul, it's probably the cheapest way to find out the true nature of your "friend."

Agreed

Loaning money to friends, is a good way to get less friends and less money.

In my opinion you should have written it off the day you decided to give it to him.

fusionstorm · 27 January 2016, 07:21 AM

Sorry to hear of this. If I were in your situation, I'd hope for the best, but expect the worst. Based on the reactions you're now getting from him, you should consider your money unrecoverable.

kilyung · 27 January 2016, 07:23 AM

Write it off as a lesson learned... and as a lost friend.

GB-man · 27 January 2016, 07:27 AM

Yeah it's long gone. Sorry you were too kind to say no. Don't make repeat steps.

TheRolexKingofLV · 27 January 2016, 07:28 AM

My dad used to say" If you want to get rid of somebody, lend them money!"....I'm sorry about your situation. Write it off as charity, and hopefully you helped his kids out with the money that was lent. Look at it like that...

swils8610 · 27 January 2016, 07:29 AM

Eh for the amount of money you loaned him he's out of your life forever. Take the loss and move on.

TheBluePrince · 27 January 2016, 07:29 AM

It was gone the day you lent it.

A lender not a borrower be.

Rolex addict · 27 January 2016, 07:37 AM

That's exactly why I don't loan money. Like others have said, chalk it up to lesson learned.

locutus49 · 27 January 2016, 07:40 AM

Write it off and move on. Lesson learned.

s14roller · 27 January 2016, 07:52 AM

Watch "A Bronx Tale"

Taking a small loss in some cases are worth it. With people like that, there will be a day that they need even more help. You come out ahead here.

rolexgiants · 27 January 2016, 07:59 AM

How much money are we talking about?

cop414 · 27 January 2016, 08:05 AM

Both Holly and I have been in this situation, live and learn. Sorry about the lost funds, the school of hard knocks can be a hard teacher but her lessons are usually burned into your memory for ever.

Pix · 27 January 2016, 08:09 AM

Post it up to his friends on Facebook, anytime you out someone on social media it may help the next victim.

bayerische · 27 January 2016, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kilyung

Write it off as a lesson learned... and as a lost friend.

Here it is.

Knappo 1307 · 27 January 2016, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ronin_ph

An old friend who I haven't seen in many years reached out to me about 6-months ago and asked if he could talk to me (the wonder of Facebook).

In short, he needed a loan. I figure I was an easy person to ask to avoid asking someone in our circle of friends locally. I now live in a different city.

I wired the funds and he needed a bit more so i sent another sum. It's not a huge sum of money. Nonetheless, I believe in people keeping their promises. Therefore, I allowed him to set the payback date. The date, December 15 came and went so I followed up with my account details. He became hugely belligerent about how I lack compassion and how if I was a real friend I'd understand he's going through a hard time.

Left him alone during holidays. Even sent gifts to his kids (didn't get a thank you either). Let it go for about another month and just followed up with him. He told me to f*** off.

What would you do?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Doesn't sound like a very good friend to me. You could cave his skull in, but that would put you in a bind. I'd just chalk it up to a loss and move on. Maybe if you two cross paths, have a stern talk...

axjimenez · 27 January 2016, 08:27 AM

Walk away. Not an ideal situation but with the follow up reaction you got the only thing that will happen next is escalation. Money to friends is always a dangerous game.

Hooper · 27 January 2016, 08:29 AM

I was always taught, if you lend money to friends and family, do it being prepared that you will never see it. Do it like your giving not lending, this way when you do get it back, it's a bonus and if not your mind and soul are at ease.

Tri-Tip · 27 January 2016, 08:36 AM

Unless you have a promissory note, you're SOL. Chalk it up to experience.

wantonebad · 27 January 2016, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBluePrince

It was gone the day you lent it.

A lender not a borrower be.

Sorry just in case you were quoting the Bard the actual quote is "neither a borrower nor a lender be"

If you weren't quoting him I apologize!

Hpozzuoli · 27 January 2016, 08:49 AM

I guess I go against the grain. Screw charity. This guy knew it was a loan, knew he had to pay it back, and even determined the pay back date. He had no intentions from the start to pay it back. It was a calculated move from the beginning. Have your lawyer send him your intentions.

wantonebad · 27 January 2016, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hpozzuoli

I guess I go against the grain. Screw charity. This guy knew it was a loan, knew he had to pay it back, and even determined the pay back date. He had no intentions from the start to pay it back. It was a calculated move from the beginning. Have your lawyer send him your intentions.

Any lawyer worth his/her salt would give the same advice as most here, kiss it off.

I understand the instinct to grind this guy a little, but there are clear issue here and only the OP knows the real deal. Is it worth the aggravation or not, 9 times out of 10 I would say no, but if there are details we aren't privy to and the OP wants to act on them he's totally within his rights. Only he can know that, and only he can act. A lawyer will solve very little here IMHO, but I do like the idea of a face to face meeting. The borrower needs to feel a little uncomfortable perhaps?

THC · 27 January 2016, 09:09 AM

hey Moose, Rocko, help the judge find his checkbook....

rr-nyc · 27 January 2016, 09:57 AM

If you lend money to friends or family, you do so with the understanding that it may never come back.

aced75 · 27 January 2016, 10:01 AM

live and learn, write it off!

superdog · 27 January 2016, 10:31 AM

I had a very good buddy ask for money.

During college years we were inseparable. The best of friends.

He turned to drugs and I turned to hard work and responsibility.

He asked me for money. I gave him $1,500.

He asked for another thousand a few weeks later. I told him no. The $1,500 was not a loan. It was a gift. But I would not go further than that. He understood and thanked me.

Personally, I would mostly me upset with how he responded. Instead of being humble and apologetic, he was rude and obnoxious.

I'd send a note and tell him: "no worries, keep the money. Best of luck to you, but don't ever reach out again".

At least this way, you get closure on your terms.

Either way, the money is not coming back. You might as well end it your way.

Dan Pierce · 27 January 2016, 10:41 AM

Sorry you've had a (former) friend let you down. No good deed goes unpunished.
dP

Old Geezer · 27 January 2016, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rr-nyc

If you lend money to friends or family, you do so with the understanding that it may never come back.

Just re-stating the obvious as others have already....Unfortunately your long lost "friend" used you. Most of us have had this happen at some point with a friend or family member. We helped a cousin of my wife recently and of course she paid about 5% back before she changed her phone, e-mail and disappeared. We expected as much.

Write it off and let karma give him his dues. If you want to get it out of your system, out him on facebook just to be annoying and move on.

27 January 2016, 07:13 AM	#1
ronin_ph "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2015 Posts: 911	Loans An old friend who I haven't seen in many years reached out to me about 6-months ago and asked if he could talk to me (the wonder of Facebook). In short, he needed a loan. I figure I was an easy person to ask to avoid asking someone in our circle of friends locally. I now live in a different city. I wired the funds and he needed a bit more so i sent another sum. It's not a huge sum of money. Nonetheless, I believe in people keeping their promises. Therefore, I allowed him to set the payback date. The date, December 15 came and went so I followed up with my account details. He became hugely belligerent about how I lack compassion and how if I was a real friend I'd understand he's going through a hard time. Left him alone during holidays. Even sent gifts to his kids (didn't get a thank you either). Let it go for about another month and just followed up with him. He told me to f*** off. What would you do? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Last edited by Old Expat Beast; 27 January 2016 at 09:17 AM..

27 January 2016, 07:16 AM	#2
GradyPhilpott 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: New Mexico Watch: Seiko #SRK047 Posts: 34,460	Chalk it up to charity and move on. In the long haul, it's probably the cheapest way to find out the true nature of your "friend." __________________ JJ Inaugural TRF $50 Watch Challenge Winner

27 January 2016, 07:21 AM	#5
fusionstorm "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Piedmont, CA Watch: various vintage Posts: 2,272	Sorry to hear of this. If I were in your situation, I'd hope for the best, but expect the worst. Based on the reactions you're now getting from him, you should consider your money unrecoverable. __________________ 1680 MK II 2.2M (my daily); 1655 MK IV 8.1M (my 1st vintage); 16660 x 4 - 8.0M spider & matte 7.4M, 8.0M, 8.0M; 16610LV F MK I/MK I; 116528 Z; 14060 M COSC; Tudor 75090 Gone.....never forgotten: 14000 F, 14060 V COSC, PAM 048, 16623 F, 1680 MK V 3.1M, 16800 matte 8.3M & 1655 MK IV 7.4M

27 January 2016, 07:28 AM	#8
TheRolexKingofLV "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2015 Real Name: Trace Location: Vegas/Bay Area Posts: 9,234	My dad used to say" If you want to get rid of somebody, lend them money!"....I'm sorry about your situation. Write it off as charity, and hopefully you helped his kids out with the money that was lent. Look at it like that... __________________ Official Host "The Penthouse Party" Las Vegas 2018 Instagram @tracenunes

27 January 2016, 08:05 AM	#15
cop414 TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Tim Location: Pennsylvania Watch: 14060M Posts: 72,261	Both Holly and I have been in this situation, live and learn. Sorry about the lost funds, the school of hard knocks can be a hard teacher but her lessons are usually burned into your memory for ever. __________________ Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & NightClub Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED

27 January 2016, 07:18 AM	#3
mannyv11 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Real Name: Manny Location: MA Watch: DD,Sub,GMT,Daytona Posts: 4,512	I would send a certified letter from my lawyer and say see you in small claims court. I also wouldn't loan money to friends that I would ever expect to get back. If I did get it back that would be an added bonus. I also wouldn't loan any money to a "friend" who I haven't seen or heard from in years. I hope you get your money back but it sounds like this guy is a Dbag.

27 January 2016, 07:23 AM	#6
kilyung 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Cave Watch: Sundial Posts: 33,940	Write it off as a lesson learned... and as a lost friend.

27 January 2016, 07:27 AM	#7
GB-man 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: USA Watch: addiction issues Posts: 37,355	Yeah it's long gone. Sorry you were too kind to say no. Don't make repeat steps.

27 January 2016, 07:29 AM	#9
swils8610 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Real Name: shannon Location: usa Posts: 9,211	Eh for the amount of money you loaned him he's out of your life forever. Take the loss and move on.

27 January 2016, 07:29 AM	#10
TheBluePrince "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: London Posts: 2,081	It was gone the day you lent it. A lender not a borrower be.

27 January 2016, 07:37 AM	#11
Rolex addict Banned Join Date: Oct 2014 Real Name: The Enabler Location: South Cackalacky Watch: me crash my bike Posts: 5,564	That's exactly why I don't loan money. Like others have said, chalk it up to lesson learned.

27 January 2016, 07:40 AM	#12
locutus49 Banned Join Date: May 2014 Real Name: John Location: La Jolla, CA Watch: Platona Posts: 12,194	Write it off and move on. Lesson learned.

27 January 2016, 07:52 AM	#13
s14roller "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: US Posts: 3,257	Watch "A Bronx Tale" Taking a small loss in some cases are worth it. With people like that, there will be a day that they need even more help. You come out ahead here.

27 January 2016, 07:59 AM	#14
rolexgiants "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: new york, usa Posts: 2,903	How much money are we talking about?

27 January 2016, 08:09 AM	#16
Pix "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: midwest Watch: SS Datejust Posts: 1,288	Post it up to his friends on Facebook, anytime you out someone on social media it may help the next victim.

27 January 2016, 08:27 AM	#19
axjimenez "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Real Name: Alex Location: Arlington, Va Watch: ALL OF THEM Posts: 1,705	Walk away. Not an ideal situation but with the follow up reaction you got the only thing that will happen next is escalation. Money to friends is always a dangerous game. __________________ “It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.” Rolex 114060 Omega SMP 2531.80 Vintage Omega - no idea but dad's watch

27 January 2016, 08:29 AM	#20
Hooper "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Real Name: Tony Location: Ontario, Canada Watch: 16610 Posts: 3,290	I was always taught, if you lend money to friends and family, do it being prepared that you will never see it. Do it like your giving not lending, this way when you do get it back, it's a bonus and if not your mind and soul are at ease. __________________ “LIfe’s Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy shit, what a ride!” – Hunter S Thompson

27 January 2016, 08:36 AM	#21
Tri-Tip "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: CA, USA Watch: Out!!! Posts: 6,474	Unless you have a promissory note, you're SOL. Chalk it up to experience.

27 January 2016, 08:49 AM	#23
Hpozzuoli Banned Join Date: Dec 2015 Real Name: Henry Location: Rhode Island Watch: Rolex Posts: 990	I guess I go against the grain. Screw charity. This guy knew it was a loan, knew he had to pay it back, and even determined the pay back date. He had no intentions from the start to pay it back. It was a calculated move from the beginning. Have your lawyer send him your intentions.

27 January 2016, 09:09 AM	#25
THC 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Real Name: Tom Location: Mandeville La Watch: 126333 Posts: 10,666	hey Moose, Rocko, help the judge find his checkbook....

27 January 2016, 09:57 AM	#26
rr-nyc Liar & Ratbag Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Renato Location: NYC / Miami Beach Watch: Rolex Daytona Posts: 5,344	If you lend money to friends or family, you do so with the understanding that it may never come back.

27 January 2016, 10:01 AM	#27
aced75 "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: Miami, FL Watch: Ballon Bleu Posts: 164	live and learn, write it off!

27 January 2016, 10:31 AM	#28
superdog 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Real Name: Seth Location: nj Watch: Omega Posts: 24,834	I had a very good buddy ask for money. During college years we were inseparable. The best of friends. He turned to drugs and I turned to hard work and responsibility. He asked me for money. I gave him $1,500. He asked for another thousand a few weeks later. I told him no. The $1,500 was not a loan. It was a gift. But I would not go further than that. He understood and thanked me. Personally, I would mostly me upset with how he responded. Instead of being humble and apologetic, he was rude and obnoxious. I'd send a note and tell him: "no worries, keep the money. Best of luck to you, but don't ever reach out again". At least this way, you get closure on your terms. Either way, the money is not coming back. You might as well end it your way. __________________ If happiness is a state of mind, why look anywhere else for it? IG: gsmotorclub IG: thesawcollection (Both mostly just car stuff)

27 January 2016, 10:41 AM	#29
Dan Pierce 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Real Name: D'OH! Location: Kentucky Watch: Rolex-1 Tudor-3 Posts: 36,217	Sorry you've had a (former) friend let you down. No good deed goes unpunished. dP __________________ TRF Member# 1668 Bass Player in TRF "AFTER DARK" Bar & NightClub Band Commander-in-Chief of The Nylon Nation The Crown & Shield Club Honorary Member of P-Club

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