Spending money on our kids?

[Fat_ninja]

So what is your view on spending money on your kids? What is age appropriate to start buying expensive things for them? Whats the right age that they will appreciate it, not be spoiled but become extremely happy?

I often feel judeged by people when they know i buy things for my kid. Apparently its okay spending the money on me and the wife.

[JTL31]

Well - my philosophy is - this is how much I’d be willing to pay/contribute for item (x), if you really want it then you’re going to need to pay the rest be it $/chores.

Worked wonders for me growing up...I treasured the items & took GOOD care of them while earning a sense of pride & accomplishment. I STILL remember my 1st pr. of ‘name brand’ sneaks.

I also remember feeling good, yet tired & broke, as a College kid when I figured how to pay most of the way. Some friends getting the full pay from their parents just partied away.

Tough decisions for parents though - I’ve found my child is more willing to spend my $ than theirs - if that helps any.

[brandrea]

We aren’t there yet ... 13 and 11. I can tell you that the activities they are into cost a small fortune though ... rep hockey and competitive dance.

We don’t attach a dollar value to it, but as they get older they understand more and more the cost involved and more importantly the time commitment

[AzPaul]

In the end, our highest goal in raising our kids should be about making them 'good' people.
And hopefully, their ultimate happiness will come as a byproduct of that journey.
If expensive gifts are a part of that, then spend away.
Nice things, by themselves, aren't bad, so long as they're not just material for material's sake.

[BigBlue1]

To tell you the truth, I really don't care to a point what others think, I use to.
We only live once and you only have so much time with your kids.
I don't place a dollar amount on anything and I keep it within reason.
My kids are 13 and 15.
They were getting into name brand thing probably around 12 to 13 years old.
I buy them Gucci slides, sneakers and etc.
My kids want a Fanny Pack and a draw string bag for Christmas.
I hardly buy anything for my self other than Rolex accessories, but occasionally Ill get some Gucci just to appease my kids.
Again its within reason, don't worry what others think.
If you got it why not.
People are to critical as to what others think.
I don't want to get into politics, but open your eyes and look around at are Judgmental society.
Thats all I have to say.
What gives anyone the right to question anything you do with your hard earned money and what you do for YOUR KIDS.
BUY BUY BUY

[77T]

Originally Posted by Fat_ninja

What is age appropriate to start buying expensive things for them?

Whats the right age that they will appreciate it, not be spoiled but become extremely happy?

On question #1, I think when you have reached the age of infinite patience is the right time to buy an expensive gift for your kids.

Oh, you meant the age of your kids?

Well, for the first 16 years I would spend lavishly to make great positive memories via experiential investments. For example, family vacations that will last a lifetime in their minds or long mountain hikes that bond them with their siblings. These will be the times they cherish forever.

On question #2, I disagree that an object will make anyone extremely happy.

But a significant milestone will be enhanced by receiving a lasting memento- maybe a watch or something with heirloom potential. As for age, maybe match the gift to the importance of the milestone - like a graduation from High School...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Fat_ninja]

After reading these comments. I really do feel like a bad father lol. I kinda buy her stuff and justify it by Thinking she will remember how she was loved unconditionally when im gone one day.

My daughter is at the moment making a video of her unboxing her new purse froma orange box. She doesnt have an instagram account...more for her own memories.

[JTL31]

Originally Posted by brandrea

We aren’t there yet ... 13 and 11. I can tell you that the activities they are into cost a small fortune though ... rep hockey and competitive dance.

Yea, my Bro/Sister in law were taken aback when both sons opted for wrestling later in life.

As far as trips, my teen remembers the hotel pools from vacation (x) & (y) but has distinct memories of others based on age at time of trip.

So...in essence she’s the one teaching me

I do know we haven’t had to check the ‘lost & found’ at school for the umpteenth time when I told her she’d have to do chores for jacket # 3

[pickettt]

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He makes his own money for the things he wants. I supplement with the things he needs.

[uscmatt99]

We have young kids, 5 and 9, so they don’t really want anything other than a new iPad game every once in awhile. The older kid is starting to ask what things cost but clearly has no idea regarding bigger expenses. We don’t buy high end clothes or other items for them, but do spend a fair bit for family trips. Just got back from two weeks in Italy and had a fantastic time with them, lots of great photos and memories. I can’t put a price on that. Still can’t believe the 5-year-old made it through a Colloseum tour, the Roman Forum, and a walk up and down Palatine Hill on a hot afternoon. He still thinks I should have paid him

[Scapegoat]

Originally Posted by pickettt

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He makes his own money for the things he wants. I supplement with the things he needs.

Hhahah love this!

[Star Ferry]

I wouldn't buy a child expensive shoes or clothing until fully grown. No sense getting designer items that they will quickly outgrow and probably not properly care for.

But at the same time, you need to help them be socially acceptable at school. If wearing Polo and having an iphone is standard among their peers, they should get it (if it's within the parents' means) or else could be excluded

[handsfull]

IME, many (read:most) people buying luxury goods for their kids are really buying them secretly for themselves. Due to their own insecurity, they are trying to flash status through their children.

[daveathall]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

I wouldn't buy a child expensive shoes or clothing until fully grown. No sense getting designer items that they will quickly outgrow and probably not properly care for.

But at the same time, you need to help them be socially acceptable at school. If wearing Polo and having an iphone is standard among their peers, they should get it (if it's within the parents' means) or else could be excluded

I agree with this view. Perfect (imho).

[Burlington]

Originally Posted by 77T

On question #1, I think when you have reached the age of infinite patience is the right time to buy an expensive gift for your kids.

Oh, you meant the age of your kids?

Well, for the first 16 years I would spend lavishly to make great positive memories via experiential investments. For example, family vacations that will last a lifetime in their minds or long mountain hikes that bond them with their siblings. These will be the times they cherish forever.

On question #2, I disagree that an object will make anyone extremely happy.

But a significant milestone will be enhanced by receiving a lasting memento- maybe a watch or something with heirloom potential. As for age, maybe match the gift to the importance of the milestone - like a graduation from High School...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Very much agree with this - the addition also being the best education possible with an expectation they should be partly self funding for university level.

I think material goods which haven’t been earned can rarely lead to long term happiness, even if the oft presented reverse is omnipresent on various social medias.

[uscmatt99]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

I wouldn't buy a child expensive shoes or clothing until fully grown. No sense getting designer items that they will quickly outgrow and probably not properly care for.

But at the same time, you need to help them be socially acceptable at school. If wearing Polo and having an iphone is standard among their peers, they should get it (if it's within the parents' means) or else could be excluded

Totally agree, school is tough enough. It goes both ways. I don’t want my kids being looked at by their peers as the kids with the rich parents, which is quite possible where we are. I’d rather my boys get to stay under the radar. It seems that peer pressure in the age of social media is an order of magnitude more stressful for kids than it was when I was in school, so I’ll try to keep that in mind as they get older.

[Syed117]

I don't have kids yet, but when I do I will absolutely not spoil them. They will do chores and earn an allowance.

No kid needs high end anything.

I can maybe count on one hand the amount of well adjusted kids I've encountered who were spoiled.

In the vast majority of cases, the kids who get spoiled turn out exactly how you would think.

[Fat_ninja]

Originally Posted by pickettt

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He makes his own money for the things he wants. I supplement with the things he needs.

Too cute!!!

[Brenngun]

This falls into the need vs want strategy.

Need = parental expense

Want = mutual contribution (work, chores etc...)

Exceptions to Want category - activities, athletics, cultural endeavors

[Pw92676]

Interesting thread, thanks OP for creating and thanks to those who have chimed in. I’ve enjoyed reading the various responses.

My two cents is that regardless of who I buy anything for (wife, family, myself), the recipient should be appreciative of the gesture and respectful of the item. Without those, there’s no regard for thoughtfulness or money.

[Angrypuppy]

We spend a lot of money on our kids. I often question if they are "spoiled" or whether they appreciate it. I don't believe they are and think they do value what they have.

The bulk of the money goes to private school, lacrosse, and boy scouts. My youngest son qualified for a national championship lacrosse tournament in FL this fall. My oldest went to the BSA National Jamboree two summers ago. We don't think twice about spending the money for those events and are thankful we have the means to do it.

The stuff is a lot more moderated. Their clothes are a mix of LL Bean, Old Navy, and Goodwill. One of my oldest sons favorite coats is a Navy Pea Coat we found at Goodwill for $12. He is about to get his drivers license and, we bought him a used VW Golf that cost less than any of my watches. He loves it.

We also give them an allowance that is equal to their age in dollars per week. 15 year old gets $15 dollars per week, 12 year old $12. That is the money they use for Xbox games, movies with friends, etc. They are both good savers. Our youngest used a combination of allowance and gift money to purchase a DJI Mavick drone. They have chores but the allowance is not dependent on doing them, they do chores because they are members of the family and we all pitch in to help run the house. I suppose they could lose their allowance if they failed to pitch in, but we have never had to think about that.

My wife and I feel the kids primary "job" at this point is studies and sports. Would they like more? I'm sure they would and we occasionally hear some whining. But overall this system has been working well for us.

We will now in 20 more years if we got it right.

[Laszlo]

My biggest challenge with our 9-year-old is getting him to understand the value of money. In his mind they are just numbers. With no real meaning. I try and remind him, that a video game that cost $59 dollars, would take someone at least a day to earn with hard work with only a 30 minute break. I 'think' he understands. Fortunately, he's not a spoiled brat and we don't have to play the role of keeping up with the Jones's. He goes to private school and wears a uniform all week. All the kids have exactly the same uniform and shoes. And they are all quite balanced.

[Tonyfsu21]

Originally Posted by BigBlue1

To tell you the truth, I really don't care to a point what others think, I use to.
We only live once and you only have so much time with your kids.
I don't place a dollar amount on anything and I keep it within reason.
My kids are 13 and 15.
They were getting into name brand thing probably around 12 to 13 years old.
I buy them Gucci slides, sneakers and etc.
My kids want a Fanny Pack and a draw string bag for Christmas.
I hardly buy anything for my self other than Rolex accessories, but occasionally Ill get some Gucci just to appease my kids.
Again its within reason, don't worry what others think.
If you got it why not.
People are to critical as to what others think.
I don't want to get into politics, but open your eyes and look around at are Judgmental society.
Thats all I have to say.
What gives anyone the right to question anything you do with your hard earned money and what you do for YOUR KIDS.
BUY BUY BUY

This is right up my alley and I actually feel as if I would have written it the same way.

[BigBlue1]

Originally Posted by Tonyfsu21

This is right up my alley and I actually feel as if I would have written it the same way.

Delray Beach Baby.

[JTL31]

Originally Posted by pickettt

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He makes his own money for the things he wants. I supplement with the things he needs.

Alright fellas, please don’t misinterpret what I said...
I DO provide basics, clothing...food...etc.
BUT if she wants to spend $200 on a pair of jeans held together by strings I draw the line - I’d hand her a scissors.

She knows I will always love her unconditionally, I just may not like her choices...like no axe murdering please... It’s not the value of the gift - the gift is being valued (that’s what my Mom taught me)

[BigBlue1]

Originally Posted by handsfull

IME, many (read:most) people buying luxury goods for their kids are really buying them secretly for themselves. Due to their own insecurity, they are trying to flash status through their children.

This is very Laughable.
Do you really think this is it?
That is as ignorant as it gets.
Again my point from earlier.
Why would anyone who can afford such lavish luxuries in life feel the need to show status thru there kids?
What?
Nonsense.
If your really concerned about your own status just let your arm adorn a big fat Rolex, put on your gold shooters, a couple gold bracelets and maybe even a Gold chain.
Oh wait I think Im talking about me and others here.
I don't give a crap what you or anyone else thinks really.
I buy what I like and what my kids like.
People will say " Why did you buy your daughter Gucci slides"? "Because I can".
Funny.
People get pissed.
Don't hate me that I put myself and MY FAMILY in the position to be able to afford nice designer stuff.
It feels good when you can get mad, smash an iPhone X on the floor as many times as you want cause you can buy one as many times as you want.

[colpol]

Originally Posted by JTL31

Well - my philosophy is - this is how much I’d be willing to pay/contribute for item (x), if you really want it then you’re going to need to pay the rest be it $/chores.

Worked wonders for me growing up...I treasured the items & took GOOD care of them while earning a sense of pride & accomplishment. I STILL remember my 1st pr. of ‘name brand’ sneaks.

I also remember feeling good, yet tired & broke, as a College kid when I figured how to pay most of the way. Some friends getting the full pay from their parents just partied away.

Tough decisions for parents though - I’ve found my child is more willing to spend my $ than theirs - if that helps any.

Agree. Growing up I got the basics & anything else you saved up birthday or Xmas money or got a job

Nowadays kids are being ‘robbed’ of the enjoyment of planning/ anticipation/ purchasing of items they really want plus if you’ve waited/ earned something - you appreciate the purchase & will look after it a hell of a lot more.

I remember my dad gave me an interest free loan for my 3rd car & I had to pay him every month & take him for a lunch once all paid back. What a feeling when I made that last payment. Nowadays in my neck of the woods - a car for your 17th birthday seems the norm

[BigBlue1]

It seems some people are trying to live in the past, but unfortunately it isn't like it was in the past nowadays.
I mean we hear it from our parents and grand parents.
"It wasn't like that when I was growing up."
"Well Grandpa it isn't 1935 anymore."
Do I hate it myself? Yes.
Social Media ruined just about every aspect of life, Hence just about.
No need to dwell, just go with the time man.
Life is to short for real.
Just look around you man.
Look at Chicago. Think back to 9/11. Turn on the news.
Time is of the essence, Enjoy it cause your time is only a Fraction.
Some of you need to open your eyes and revisit your perspectives.

[Pw92676]

[QUOTE=
It feels good when you can get mad, smash an iPhone X on the floor as many times as you want cause you can buy one as many times as you want.
[/QUOTE]

I don’t disagree with much of what you have said, however, this last sentence here seems way off to me.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by Pw92676

I don’t disagree with much of what you have said, however, this last sentence here seems way off to me.

I wasn’t even going to bother.