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Old 6 April 2020, 06:07 AM   #1
clock
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Fix that rain gutter

Today, a friend of mine’s wife said to him, "Honey, get off your butt and fix that gutter downspout! And, I want it done before the end of the day!”

Well, as you all know, at my age my friend, and most our age, are retired and do have the time to address such “Honey do’s”..So, he invited some of us neighborhood buddies over to help with the project.

One is a sheet metal fabricator. One brought his welder. One brought beer and Nachos. One brought a grill and burgers.

Took us about 4-6 hours, and 30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we finished off the last of the burgers.

As usual, the wife is still not happy! Can’t understand, cause all us guys love it!

Personally, I cannot wait for rain!

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Old 6 April 2020, 06:19 AM   #2
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EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, Why do they call the airport the terminal?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?:/
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Old 6 April 2020, 06:21 AM   #3
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mile per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seatbelt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says," Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seatbelt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" (the killer line is next )

"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking
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Old 6 April 2020, 10:18 AM   #4
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Old 7 April 2020, 02:38 PM   #5
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Old 7 April 2020, 07:18 PM   #6
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Old 12 April 2020, 11:30 PM   #7
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Old 14 April 2020, 10:38 PM   #8
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