What I learned from online dating...

[gmh1013]

Just say no....I was on a senior dating site for about 7 months and I was tagged 5 times, 4 of those were scams, 1 could have been but i stopped it because they would never post a photo. I wasted money to join plus the money i lost in one scam and the money lost doing background checks. Would I ever try it again. Absolutely not! I had read somewhere that about 20 percent of the people are scams ....more like 100 percent to me. I guess it works for some but its just to risky at best for me. Plus I started to think "I cant afford to get involved with some bimbo with big boobs and risk losing half or more of what I have. I have no way of ever getting it back once its gone besides I have my cats to pile on me at night to keep me warm.

[mrricks]

I met my wife of 15 years online. Of course I had to go Hong Kong to meet her, but it was worth it.
You pays your money and takes your chances.

[superdog]

Sorry to hear it didn’t work out for you.

I know a lot of people that are married because of online dating. I personally had mixed results with it when I was single. And certainly had a few fun times.

As with anything it takes a good mentality along with work and persistence.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Blansky]

Well I could write a book on what I learned from picking up women in bars so there are pitfalls in any form of the mating ritual.

In my early days in photography I shot 500 weddings. Some didn't last until they came to pick up the wedding pictures and 50% didn't last at all.

It's all a crap shoot.

[Vamp]

Online dating works for sure! I’ve had nothing but success. Never any scams so I can’t relate to what you’re saying

[pickettt]

You specified a senior dating site. I have no idea how "senior" you are, but seniors are commonly targeted for scams of all types. I'd have to assume that dating is not immune...maybe even moreso. I wish you good luck.

[gmh1013]

Originally Posted by pickettt

You specified a senior dating site. I have no idea how "senior" you are, but seniors are commonly targeted for scams of all types. I'd have to assume that dating is not immune...maybe even moreso. I wish you good luck.

Im 62...the last one said she was 35...which raises red flags from the start. What would a good looking 35 year old blonde want with a old man who is old enough to be her daddy? ....easy money.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by gmh1013

Im 62...the last one said she was 35...which raises red flags from the start. What would a good looking 35 year old blonde want with a old man who is old enough to be her daddy? ....easy money.

I know times are changing, but I don't buy ANYTHING online that I haven't touched in real life first. Call me old fashioned.

[gmh1013]

In reading over 100's of profiles online most women all want somebody who is tall, can be up to 10 pounds overweight, no beards, financially secure, someone who can travel on a moments notice to France, somebody who can ski, must like kids and horses, no liberal types, I want want man who knows how to treat a lady...that was woman's profile....they want Brad Pitt/George Clooney but look like Ethel Merman.
Most of the women act like they are ordering fast food take out....instead of looking for a date.

[SpeakWithMichael]

Yea I don't bother with that nonsense anymore.

[FTX I]

I just turned 50 and I never had any experience with on-line dating. However, if all of a sudden I'm single again I don't think I'd be comfortable advertising myself on the internet. It seems like a job application to me. You show your CV on-line and wait to be called for an interview. Not something I'd be interested TBH. I never had any trouble with the opposite sex in real life and I never asked anyone for a job so I think it's not for me.

[SydR]

Many years ago I met an (now) ex in an online chatroom. We met up after a few months and ended up spending several years living together before issues with her family caused us to drift apart.

Any discussion over money before even meeting up would ring alarm bells with me.

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by gmh1013

In reading over 100's of profiles online most women all want somebody who is tall, can be up to 10 pounds overweight, no beards, financially secure, someone who can travel on a moments notice to France, somebody who can ski, must like kids and horses, no liberal types, I want want man who knows how to treat a lady...that was woman's profile....they want Brad Pitt/George Clooney but look like Ethel Merman.
Most of the women act like they are ordering fast food take out....instead of looking for a date.

Uh, Brad and George are “liberal types.”

[Blah114aa]

I personally know a PI very well, went to school with him. He has some horror stories about plenty of fish, tinder, and other sites, where women have scammed guys out of tens of thousands, stolen possessions, medication, identities, and other stuff. So I would advise anyone using these sites, or for that matter any dating in life, to use a private investigator if you’re older than 30.

There are many well intentioned males whom are taken for a lot of money and other things after using dating sites, per my friend—he’s been an investigator since 2004 and has owned his own firm since 2011... he’s seen a lot of stuff over the years and could write a book (actually, he did write a book under a pseudonym on amazon). This doesn’t mean all dating sites are bad—The PI comically says seekingarrangements.com is actually the most “honest” and upfront... that’s a site basically where you pay for sex and both parties agree ahead of time, etc..

I think his worst case was where a gal and guy were partners working dating sites , and his client literally had his entire house cleaned out, watches, jewelry, clothing, everything stolen over an entire weekend while he was traveling for his corporate job. He was 53 if I recall.. the gal ended up being 28.. her profile and data were all fake . He lived in Indiana and she was from Utah but had moved there (lied about that) and scammed people via the fish site. The website did nothing to assist and the lady was was found two years later on the same site with a new profile, with nearly identical verbiage, in Seattle WA.

I was told his situation got handled but he had to hire various private investigators, and had to engage the fbi, police, and hire a lawyer. While that’s just one example, it would be enough to scare me never to use any dating site. What struck my friend as a travesty was the lack of assistance from the dating site. The gal had more rights than the victim. After police were involved, they still wouldn’t cooperate.. it took a lawyer to get the entity to cooperate and release data. The victim was just a guy looking for a girlfriend... it’s really a shame. My private investigator friend has participated in everything from family disputes to worker compensation, to murder cases. The dating stuff he lately refuses to work as he has no time for it, but he commented it’s rampant.

Oh yea, the horror story above... the gal dated the victim for 9 months before making her moves. She and her grifter boyfriend had a past which included operating fake fund raiser sites and ebay scamming stuff. They were hard to find after the thefts.

[bdex75]

Have you tried FarmersOnly.com???

Just kidding Greg, figured you needed a chuckle.

But seriously, I would assume that any site that caters to seniors is ripe for scammers. May want to try the more mainstream sites and still be careful. I don’t know what I would do if I was in your position but I have heard from several older single friends that church, the library, grocery store etc. were all good spots for them to meet like minded women. What do you enjoy doing for pleasure? (Other than 35 year olds?? ).


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[Bigblu10]

Originally Posted by bdex75

Have you tried FarmersOnly.com???

Just kidding Greg, figured you needed a chuckle.

But seriously, I would assume that any site that caters to seniors is ripe for scammers. May want to try the more mainstream sites and still be careful. I don’t know what I would do if I was in your position but I have heard from several older single friends that church, the library, grocery store etc. were all good spots for them to meet like minded women. What do you enjoy doing for pleasure? (Other than 35 year olds?? ).


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Greg was already burned once by a scammer and I surely don't blame him for being apprehensive after that. Also don't kid yourself, ALL dating sites regardless of the age range they cater to have their fair share of scammers looking to take someone's money when they are vulnerable and lonely. They are truly scum.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by pickettt

I know times are changing, but I don't buy ANYTHING online that I haven't touched in real life first. Call me old fashioned.

Wow. You're old fashioned.

Amazon just closed your account.

[bdex75]

Originally Posted by Bigblu10

Greg was already burned once by a scammer and I surely don't blame him for being apprehensive after that. Also don't kid yourself, ALL dating sites regardless of the age range they cater to have their fair share of scammers looking to take someone's money when they are vulnerable and lonely. They are truly scum.

I remember the last time. And just have a hard time grasping that there are so many bad people out there. Just a messed up deal.

But it will come together when you least expect it.


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[Blansky]

True love can be found lots of places.

I found mine while she was leaning on my groin stopping the bleeding after surgery.

Been together 30 years. 20 of the best years of my life.

[Bigblu10]

Any woman that is not willing to meet you face to face in a public place such as a coffee shop or restaurant after a few weeks of communication via email, text or phone is a red flag. Also if she is asking for money before you even meet her that tells you time to run Forrest run! I can't fathom why many women don't even seem interested in meeting face to face but spend the time and energy to engage on a dating site/sites. What are they doing? Just playing games? Do women even pay $$ on these sites or it is just the men pay and the women join for free? I know these sites must be cash cows and raking in the bucks.

[gmh1013]

Originally Posted by Bigblu10

Any woman that is not willing to meet you face to face in a public place such as a coffee shop or restaurant after a few weeks of communication via email, text or phone is a red flag. Also if she is asking for money before you even meet her that tells you time to run Forrest run! I can't fathom why many women don't even seem interested in meeting face to face but spend the time and energy to engage on a dating site/sites. What are they doing? Just playing games? Do women even pay $$ on these sites or it is just the men pay and the women join for free? I know these sites must be cash cows and raking in the bucks.

Like my go doctor pointed out....when you get up over 60 the odds are greatly in the mens favor and increase every year she said its about 1.4 to 1 at 60 as a general rule of thumb in the US some places more some less. At 70 it goes up to like 1.8 to 1. I guess she is getting her data from some medical mag.
Thats why she cant believe what some of these women want? They are going to be in for a shock. The men with lots of money that are 60 go for 35 year old gold digger type....not another 60 year old.

[locutus49]

What about the other 10 years: okay or miserable?

Originally Posted by Blansky

True love can be found lots of places.

I found mine while she was leaning on my groin stopping the bleeding after surgery.

Been together 30 years. 20 of the best years of my life.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by gmh1013

Like my go doctor pointed out.....

You were almost to the promised land there.

Hang around the hospital or doctors office and find yourself a nurse.

You're no spring chicken and you'll have someone to take care of you. They are always going to be employable since there is usually a shortage so they can support you in your old age.

Generally they have empathy (except for Nurse Rachett) since they went into that profession in the first place. They're used to being treated like the help by doctors so if you're remotely kind they'll probably like you.

Put away your computer, hang around the damn hospital and snag yourself a hot or nice nurse.

You're welcome.

[bdex75]

Originally Posted by Blansky

You were almost to the promised land there.



Hang around the hospital or doctors office and find yourself a nurse.



You're no spring chicken and you'll have someone to take care of you. They are always going to be employable since there is usually a shortage so they can support you in your old age.



Generally they have empathy (except for Nurse Rachett) since they went into that profession in the first place.



Hang around the damn hospital and snag yourself a hot nurse.

I like it.

Maybe one of your doctors offices that you go to? Any good looking single nurses? Maybe send some candy or small token of appreciation to the staff in the office for being good to you. She will notice.

We get a lot of that stuff sent to the office this time of year from product partners. Mrs Fields cookies. These really neat individually wrapped brownies that were awesome.

A friend of mine owns a candy/fudge company in Tennessee and they ship all over the country. Just him and his wife. Do a great job.


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[TheVTCGuy]

I actually met a lot of women on line and had good luck, although nothing really permanent. I guess I am a good catch at my age. I read the profiles of a bunch of guys to see what to write and thought: “I don’t have a chance on here! Is there a site for losers?” They were all successful, and handsome, and sharing, etc. In the end, below is honestly what I wrote, I had LOTS of eligible and interesting women contact me.


I am middle-aged, divorced, unemployed and live with my parents. I go to night school to earn my GED (ought to have it in another six or eight years) and my life’s ambition is to work on the assembly line at the local asbestos factory. I haven’t had a date in three years, unless you count my cousin, and I had to get permission from my parole office to get on the internet. If things work out between us you can move in with me, mom says there is plenty of room in the trailer. Nurses are encouraged to reach out, you can help me with my court-ordered psych med injections. Looking forward to hearing from you.

It really worked!

[Bigblu10]

Originally Posted by gmh1013

Like my go doctor pointed out....when you get up over 60 the odds are greatly in the mens favor and increase every year she said its about 1.4 to 1 at 60 as a general rule of thumb in the US some places more some less. At 70 it goes up to like 1.8 to 1. I guess she is getting her data from some medical mag.
Thats why she cant believe what some of these women want? They are going to be in for a shock. The men with lots of money that are 60 go for 35 year old gold digger type....not another 60 year old.

Well, common sense would dictate that a man/woman relationship based solely on money/gold digging is just a quid pro quo that certainly won't last long term. And at 62 I'm sure you are beyond playing games with mid-30's women. Completely different mindsets.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by locutus49

What about the other 10 years: okay or miserable?

How about married for 30 years, 38 with the wind chill.

Sorry, old Canadian joke.

[subtona]

It has worked for friends I know.
My experience, there was a lot of sifting and vetting but at no time did it cost any money that was not anticipated beyond a drink or dinner?

The fact that you experienced a negative financial impact is concerning.

[FTX I]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I am middle-aged, divorced, unemployed and live with my parents. I go to night school to earn my GED (ought to have it in another six or eight years) and my life’s ambition is to work on the assembly line at the local asbestos factory. I haven’t had a date in three years, unless you count my cousin, and I had to get permission from my parole office to get on the internet. If things work out between us you can move in with me, mom says there is plenty of room in the trailer. Nurses are encouraged to reach out, you can help me with my court-ordered psych med injections. Looking forward to hearing from you.

It really worked!

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I am middle-aged, divorced, unemployed and live with my parents. I go to night school to earn my GED (ought to have it in another six or eight years) and my life’s ambition is to work on the assembly line at the local asbestos factory. I haven’t had a date in three years, unless you count my cousin, and I had to get permission from my parole office to get on the internet. If things work out between us you can move in with me, mom says there is plenty of room in the trailer. Nurses are encouraged to reach out, you can help me with my court-ordered psych med injections. Looking forward to hearing from you.

It really worked!

I'm sure.

Who wouldn't be thrilled to go out with that person.

A matter of fact though, is that in surveys done of what women look for in a mate/date is not great body, is not money, is not nice car, or Rolex, or great job, the number one answer is:..........wait for it......

A great sense of humor.

So many guys have been working on all the wrong things. If all your free time is spent at the gym, the jokes on you.