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padi56 · 3 October 2006, 02:50 AM

A new farmer called JJ buys several sheep, hoping to breed them. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. Farmer JJ doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his lorry, drives them out into the woods, shags them all, brings them back and goes to bed,now a very experienced sheepshagger.

Next morning, JJ wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take and loads them in the lorry again. He drives them out to the woods, shags each sheep twice for good measure,by now getting to like it

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day sheep shagging and upon returning home, falls exhausted into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

"No," she says,......
"they're all in the lorry ... and one of them is beeping the horn."come on big boy.

madformac · 3 October 2006, 03:01 AM

Are you sure its in the right forum Padi? Shouldn't it be in open forum and not jokes if you know what I mean...

JJ Irani · 3 October 2006, 03:06 AM

...and, Justin, you're nuts!!

madformac · 3 October 2006, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

...and, Justin, you're nuts!!

Yeah I'm nuts... Guess who drove me to it???

JJ Irani · 3 October 2006, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by madformac

Yeah I'm nuts... Guess who drove me to it???

Hope you're not hinting at me, tosser!!

mailman · 3 October 2006, 08:22 AM

LMAO Padi

padi56 · 3 October 2006, 07:59 PM

Scarface · 28 April 2008, 07:59 AM

OMG, this is sooo funny

JJ people really love you and like to tease you

Clarence · 28 April 2008, 08:35 AM

oneillba · 28 April 2008, 03:24 PM

I saw "Sheep" and I knew somehow it would have JJ connected to the joke. Poor ol' JJ :-)

Oscar · 28 April 2008, 07:12 PM

Very funny. I feel drained after reading that...

Scarface · 28 April 2008, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oneillba

I saw "Sheep" and I knew somehow it would have JJ connected to the joke. Poor ol' JJ :-)

Why "poor", it is only a measure of JJ 's popularity and affection directed to him

But, still, HEY JJ WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THESE SHEEP ?

jasonbellevue · 29 April 2008, 03:13 PM

Ashley · 29 April 2008, 04:10 PM

TDH · 4 May 2008, 03:56 AM

Bisquitlips · 16 April 2009, 09:01 AM

Lion · 16 April 2009, 10:39 AM

Poor JJ, he never catches a break!!!

coddger · 16 April 2009, 02:15 PM

hflee55 · 16 April 2009, 09:57 PM

3 October 2006, 02:50 AM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,062	Sheep. A new farmer called JJ buys several sheep, hoping to breed them. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. Farmer JJ doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his lorry, drives them out into the woods, shags them all, brings them back and goes to bed,now a very experienced sheepshagger. Next morning, JJ wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take and loads them in the lorry again. He drives them out to the woods, shags each sheep twice for good measure,by now getting to like it Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day sheep shagging and upon returning home, falls exhausted into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass. "No," she says,...... "they're all in the lorry ... and one of them is beeping the horn."come on big boy. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

3 October 2006, 03:06 AM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	...and, Justin, you're nuts!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

3 October 2006, 08:22 AM	#6
mailman TRF Moderator & SubLV41 2024 Patron Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: . Watch: 126610LN Posts: 35,510	LMAO Padi __________________ JJ

3 October 2006, 07:59 PM	#7
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,062	__________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

28 April 2008, 07:59 AM	#8
Scarface "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Minas Location: London UK Watch: Rolex , Omega Posts: 1,370	OMG, this is sooo funny JJ people really love you and like to tease you __________________ *Rolex* Oyster Perpetual GMT-Master ll *Rolex* Oyster Perpetual Datejust *Omega* Seamaster Professional Chronograph

3 October 2006, 03:01 AM	#2
madformac "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2006 Real Name: Justin Location: Manchester, UK. Posts: 708	Are you sure its in the right forum Padi? Shouldn't it be in open forum and not jokes if you know what I mean...

28 April 2008, 08:35 AM	#9
Clarence "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Real Name: Ed Location: Jamestown, NY Posts: 273

28 April 2008, 03:24 PM	#10
oneillba "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Brian Location: Hamilton, MI USA Watch: My beloved TT DJ Posts: 3,831	I saw "Sheep" and I knew somehow it would have JJ connected to the joke. Poor ol' JJ :-) __________________ My Trusty TT DJ

28 April 2008, 07:12 PM	#11
Oscar "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Real Name: Michael Location: Melb, Australia Watch: SS GMTIIC Posts: 1,350	Very funny. I feel drained after reading that...

29 April 2008, 03:13 PM	#13
jasonbellevue "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Real Name: Jason Location: at home Posts: 5,098	__________________

29 April 2008, 04:10 PM	#14
Ashley "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Real Name: Ashley Location: Calgary Posts: 6,967

4 May 2008, 03:56 AM	#15
TDH "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2007 Real Name: Jay Location: Here n there Watch: Sub Posts: 1,641

16 April 2009, 09:01 AM	#16
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	__________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

16 April 2009, 10:39 AM	#17
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Poor JJ, he never catches a break!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

16 April 2009, 02:15 PM	#18
coddger "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Only Mom Knows Location: Land Of The Free Watch: 116520,16610,16013 Posts: 1,573	__________________ Contentment Is Not The Fulfillment Of Getting All The Watches You Want, It Is The Realization Of How Many Rolexes You Already Have.

16 April 2009, 09:57 PM	#19
hflee55 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Andy Location: Kuala Lumpur, MY Watch: Me Watching You!! Posts: 3,260

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